Disclaimer- we don't own the Esca crew. But neither does anyone one else here, so there.

K- Rhee is helping me write another one!

Wizard of Gaea

We shall start our story when Hitomi gets beamed up into a foreign land, but not Gaea. This is the new and improved Gaea. Hitomi looks around herself, to see that her duffel bag has landed on the evil witch of the east, Millerna.

"Oh, my. Goodness. I didn't mean to kill the evil witch..." Hitomi looked around, she was on the edge of a town. The strange thing about this town was that everything was made from Escaflowne parts. Like the flowers were engerists and the telephone booths were the cockpit. But there were many of each.

"Well, maybe someone is here..." Hitomi picked up her duffel bag. "I don't remember having all this stuff in it..."

"Let me out!" an angry voice growled. "Let me out!" the voice barked.

"Oh," Hitomi unziped the bag to reveal Toto, umm we mean Dilandau.

"Why do I have to be the dog?" Dilandau growled.

"Umm, I don't know. Where are we Dilandau? We aren't in Fanelia anymore."

"Duh, I burnt it to the ground."

"Are dogs a supposed to talk?"

"I am not a dog!" Just then Ispanos jumped up out of everything. They start singing in high- pitched voices.

"Escaflowne! Escaflowne! Escaflowne!" they sang as they did the Russian squat dance.

"Weird..." Hitomi and Dilandau watched as the Ispanos proceeded to pay homage.

"You have freed us from the wicked witch of the east's pointless babble- Escaflowne. How can we ever repay you-Escaflowne?" the Ispanos asked.

"It must be a mistake, I didn't kill anyone."

"Yes you did!" Dilandau happily barked, for he is a dog.

"Look at her-Escaflowne! She isn't moving-Escaflowne." The Ispanos said, there were so many now that they over crowded the streets.

"We shall call the good witch of the north to reward you-Escaflowne!"

"All I want to do is go home!" Hitomi wailed. A bright light appeared. Katty stood there, looking very disheveled. She was wearing a blood red skin suit that had fish net stockings attached.

"Ops," Katty said after Hitomi stared at her. "Sorry." Katty turned to finish putting on her make up. "Who are you?" Hitomi asked the blond girl who appeared from a pink light.

"She's Katty." Dilandau barked.

"I am Katty, the good witch of the north pole!"

"Katty, its north." A man said over an intercom.

"Sorry, I am the good witch of the north!" Katty said as she pulled out a whip. "What that's the wrong prop. It's got to be some were...." Katty shuffled through a few things. "Here it is!" Katty pulled out a wand that was covered with pink feather, sparkles and ribbons. "I added to it." Katty stated the stunned Hitomi.

"Now, Hitomi, what is it you want for freeing the Ispanos from the evil Millerna?"

"I want to go home!" Hitomi cried.

"Then you'll need the power of the Atlantis! There, take these ugly Dutch clogs to wear. They have absolutely no power, but they add to your awful outfit." Katty pinched her nose as she de-shoed Millerna.

"Here." Hitomi put on the ugly clogs.

"Were do I go?"

"To Gaea!" Katty smiled. "Just follow the dirt road!"

"I thought it was going to be the fire road, or the red road."

"Budget cuts Dilandau, remember that." Katty gritted her teeth.

"Oh, yea. I forgot." Dilandau itched behind his ear. "Why am I the dog again?" Dilandau stared to foam at the mouth.

"Well, because.... you'll see later." Katty stared at the badly matched pair. "I must be going." She pulled out a bubble wand and started to try and make bubbles.

"Damn it's broken!" Katty madly threw the wand on the ground. "Oh, umm...bye?" Katty ran into the nearest Ispano home.

"Umm I guess we are going to follow the dirt road." Hitomi clunked her way on the dirt road. Dilandau sulked behind her. They walked for many miles.

Then they came upon a cornfield. A scarecrow hung upside down on a stake.

"Help me help me!" the scarecrow yelled at Hitomi.

"Oh, do you know the way to the wizard of Gaea?" Hitomi asked.

"That helps you, not me!" the scarecrow retorted.

"Is that...?" Dilandau rushed up to the scarecrow. "It is! It's Allen it's Allen!" Dilandau barked evilly.

"Oh poor Allen!" Hitomi got Allen off the stake.

"Thank you."

"Do you know the way to the wizard of Gaea?"

"Duh, all you have to do is follow the dirt road." Dilandau rolled his eyes.

"I don't have a brain." Allen responded.

"Duh, I could have told you that." Dilandau sneered.

"If I only had a brain." Allen said again.

"Can you say anything else?" Hitomi asked.

"If I only had a brain." Allen looked at Hitomi blankly.

"Well, I guess we should be going." Hitomi turned back to the dirt road.

"Wait a moment." Dilandau relieved himself on Allen. "Revenge is sweet." He growled. Allen watched as Dilandau whizzed on him.

"If I only had a brain."

"Yea, right." Dilandau chuckled, running after Hitomi. To their disgust, Allen followed.

"Why are you following us?" Hitomi asked.

"If I only had a brain."

"I give up!" Hitomi threw her hands up and continued on the dirt road. She causally would rub the back of her heel. The wooden Dutch clogs were giving her blisters. But Katty had given them to her, so she wore them.

"Look!" Hitomi rushed up into woods. She saw Folken. He was all rusty on one side. "He needs oil." Hitomi reached into her bag and pulled out Dilandau's flamethrower. "This will do." She emptied the lighter fluid.

"Nooooooo!!!" Dilandau howled. He jumped into the bag to relieve himself again, but this time it was number two. "I will avenge my flamethrower." He growled in pleasure.

"Thank you, Hitomi. I have been rusted there for exactly one minute." Folken looked at his clock, which had been newly inserted.

"Folken, it's a few years." The man over the intercom corrected.

"Oh, yes. I have been there for a few years." Folken said, looking at Hitomi and Allen.

"Do you need anything? I am going home, Allen is..."

"If I only had a brain." Folken muffled some chuckles.

"I need an arm." Folken said looking at his metal arm.

"It's heart Folken. Heart." The man interjected once more.

"Oh, yeah. I don't have a heart."

"Is that why you have a tear drop tattoo?" Dilandau asked. Folken looked at the mutt. He chuckled some more. "What, do you think I'm funny?" Dilandau growled. "I'll show you!" he clamped onto Folken's leg.

"Oh Dilandau! Bad Dilandau! Bad Dilandau! I am going to have to punish you!" Hitomi spanked Dilandau's tailed butt.

"What the hell!" Dilandau bit Hitomi.

"If I only had a brain!" Allen added. Dilandau let go for a fraction of a second, and Hitomi duck taped his mouth.

"Mmmhh mmmhmhhm!!" Dilandau growled.

"There, much better." Hitomi sighted. "Well let's go." And so they followed the dirt road. And were almost run over by a farmer in a pick up truck filled with pigs.

To be continued....