The Leader of the Mary Sues

The Leader of the Mary Sues

Author's Note: This is just my theory about a particular person, so no offense if you happen to like this particular person. Other than that, INSANITY IS COOL! Have a nice day! J

The Hogwarts students were enjoying an excellent dinner when suddenly, Dumbledore made a horrifying announcement.

"Students," he said, "Hogwarts will be hosting exchange students from Pigpimples School of Magic in the USA! And now, please welcome- Mary Sue, Mary Sue, Mary Sue, hey, what the- they're all named Mary Sue! Well, anyway, will all the Mary Sues please line up to be Sorted!" They all got in line.

"GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the Sorting Hat. Repeatedly. Finally, there was only one left. She walked up to the stool and put on the hat. Everyone waited for the inevitable result-

"HUFFLEPUFF!" Everyone gasped. "Oops, my mistake. GRYFFINDOR!" Mary Sue went over to sit with the other nineteen Mary Sues at the Gryffindor table. Suddenly, the door burst open. A figure stood in the doorframe, dramatically silhouetted against the stormy sky, right down to her implants- implants? Then the figure spoke.

"Ohmygod, my hair is ruined!" She stepped inside and shut the door, and then walked up to the staff table. Facing the students, she ripped off her robes to reveal a very tight, shiny silver tube top and a sparkly black micro-miniskirt. Several people screamed at the sight of her perfect hair and makeup. She laughed evilly.

"My name is… BRITNEY SPEARS! Hahahahaha!" And with that she began to sing. "Oops, I did it again…" Everyone covered her ears and screamed, drowning her out. Britney stamped her shiny-black-and-silver-platform-shoed foot. Suddenly, all the males at Hogwarts stared at her with their jaws hanging open. Britney smiled and started to sing again.

Hermione suddenly jumped on the table and screamed all the insults she could think of at the top of her lungs.

"Oh no you don't!" Britney shouted. "VOLDIE!!!!!!!" Voldemort materialized in front of the whole school.

"You called, little sister?"

"Yes," Britney whined, pointing at Hermione. "Voldie, she's annoying me."

Voldemort raised his wand, but fortunately for Hermione she had her copy of Hogwarts, A History with her. "Hey Voldemort!" she shouted. "You're not really here, you know!"

Voldemort blinked. "I'm not?"

"Uh-uh," said Hermione. "Know why? You can't Apparate or Disapparate anywhere on Hogwarts grounds! So there!" With a shout, Voldemort disappeared. Britney glared at Hermione.

"You! You must pay!" All the Mary Sues charged Hermione, but she pulled books, quills, rolls of parchment, and anything else she could find out of her bag and started throwing them at the Mary Sues. Finally, only their leader, Britney Spears, was left. But Hermione had nothing to throw. Britney opened her mouth to sing-

"Accio Dictionary!" A large dictionary came zooming toward Hermione. Just as it reached her, she sent it flying toward Britney with a quick Banishing Charm. As the huge book collided with Britney's head, she and all the Mary Sues disappeared.

Hermione Granger awoke from her strange dream. Hmm, she thought as she dressed, I better pay extra attention in Charms today. And just in case- Hermione dropped a dictionary in her bag and went down to lunch.

~The End~

A/N #2: Okay, so it's not as funny as most of my other stuff, but that's my theory.

Claimer: I own Pigpimples School of Magic and Britney's outfit.

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JK Rowling except for Britney Spears. She belongs to the devil.

A/N #3: If you do not review, I sentence you to spend the rest of your life at Pigpimples with Britney and the Mary Sues! Bwa ha ha ha ha!