November 30, 1982

Dear Diary,

Luke has paid so little attention to me since we walked into Kelly's. I doubt he's even aware how uncomfortable I feel around his friends; the one's that my family and I tried to bilk out of their life savings. He's been caught up in the role of returning hero. I walked away from him and he didn't even notice. Even when I spoke with Rose, she was distant with me even though I had tried to discourage her from investing. The only one that showed any signs of sympathy was Robert. I saw the look in his eyes as I was standing alone at the back of the diner. I don't think he knows I saw it. Luke had no clue, and still wouldn't have figured it out had Emma Lutz not said something to me when he finally joined me. His solution as always was for us to leave. I came back to Port Charles knowing I'd have to face the townspeople again, and I thought I was prepared. I also thought Luke would stand by my while I did. I was wrong. I never realized how bad he was at confronting unpleasantness. It wasn't something I looked forward to either, but I knew that would be the only way I'd regain my self-respect. I wonder if I even really love Luke. There haven't been many men I've been romantically involved with. Maybe it was because my cousins were always around and intimidated anyone who attempted to get close to me. It seemed like Luke would be an easy target, and for the most part he was. But from the beginning I was intrigued by Robert, and would have preferred he was the mark. But my family thought his WSB background would make him more suspicious. From all indications, Luke was out for the fast buck and was easily persuaded by a pretty face.

It was kind of disheartening to know that Robert only went to Vancouver to recover the money. He wanted the Canadian authorities to deal with me and my family. Yet, once he knew the full story, he supported my decision to return. He has proven to be a good friend to me as well as Luke. One day, once the scam is nothing more than a distant memory, I hope to properly thank him for believing in me. I hope that day comes soon.