Surrender

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

A/N-set a year after the wedding in BD. No Renesmee….AU

Part One

Edward smiled lovingly down at his wife. They had just celebrated their first wedding anniversary. Every time he gazed at his beloved's beautiful face it felt like a miracle. They had overcome so much to be together, but here they were. Edward touched Bella's face tenderly, grazing his fingertips across her cheekbone. He explored the familiar planes of her face, touching her almost like a blind man trying to paint a picture in his mind. Bella closed her eyes as she waited patiently for him to finish. Edward did this every time after they made love. It was like he had to convince himself that she was real. She felt his fingers leave her face, only to trail down the nape of her neck, then along the base of her throat.

A sigh of ecstasy left his parted lips. "You are so beautiful."

Bella opened her eyes and turned on her side. Her long brunette hair, luxuriant and thick, fell in shiny waves around her slim shoulders. It was odd, even after all this time; she still found it difficult to accept a compliment. It was one thing left over from her human life that she couldn't quite shake off. Her brow furrowed slightly as she tried to shrug off the ill feeling of disquiet that suddenly overcame her.

"What's wrong, my love?" Edward used his fingers to smooth the frown lines from her forehead. He tried to read her mind, but her shield was up, blocking his access. Hurt welled in his eyes. Bella was keeping something from him. They were supposed to have no secrets anymore.

Bella rose up onto her elbow and smiled, gently easing his hand away from her face. "I am fine, Edward. Honestly."

A soft knock on their bedroom door interrupted their conversation. Edward looked at the door irritably. "It's Alice." He said as he read his adopted sibling's mind. "Charlie called again."

The bedroom door opened and Alice slipped inside. She smiled at them both apologetically. "What he said." She held out the phone toward Bella. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Charlie was very insistent. He wants you to call him back."

"Alice, you could have made an excuse." Edward was full of disapproval. He stroked his wife's troubled face. "You know how difficult this is for Bella."

"I imagine it is just as difficult for Charlie." Alice replied tartly, irked by Edward's tone. She spun around on her heel and stalked off in a huff.

Edward sighed, irritated by her childish behaviour. He returned his attention to Bella. "You don't have to call him back right now. It can wait."

Bella cradled the phone in her hands. She knew marrying Edward meant that she would have to lose contact with her loved ones. But it was proving harder than she had ever anticipated. Renee seemed to have gradually accepted her daughter's excuses as to why she couldn't visit. Charlie on the other hand was being more persistent. He ran regularly every week to check in with her. If Bella didn't answer his call he would keep ringing until he spoke to her.

"I'll call him back now." She said quietly. "He probably wants to wish us a happy anniversary."

Edward looked at his wife in disbelief but he refrained from commenting. Charlie would never forgive him for taking his precious daughter away from him. The older man acted like he was a pariah. "Do you want me to stay?" He asked, childishly hoping that for once Bella would say yes.

"No, I'd like to be alone." Bella smiled gently to soften the blow. She knew how much it hurt her husband when she pushed him away like this. It wasn't deliberate; she just found it easier if he wasn't watching her in concern while she spoke to her father.

"If that's what you want." Edward sighed again. He closed the gap between them and ghosted his lips across hers. "Come and find me when you are finished."

Bella watched her husband leave. She tried to stifle her guilt. She knew she wasn't being fair to Edward. She took a moment to compose herself before dialling Charlie's number. The phone only rang twice before he picked up. "Bells?" He questioned gruffly.

Hearing the relief in his voice made a lump lodge in her throat. Bella lay back on the heaped up pillows and pressed the phone to her ear. "Hey, Dad." She greeted him as shame descended upon her. "I'm sorry I haven't been in touch lately. We've just been so busy here…." Her voice tailed off.

"I was just wondering when you might be able to swing by for a visit." Charlie asked. It was the same question every time he called. "You said maybe at the end of the year. It's the end of the year now."

The phone shook in Bella's hand at the quiet pleading in his tone. It devastated her every time. She pressed her lips together before responding. "I would love to come, it's just we are so busy right now."

"You said that before." Charlie cleared his throat. "You could come on your own. In fact I'd prefer it." He could never bring himself to say Edward's name.

"I can't leave Edward. That's impossible." Bella ran her fingers restlessly through her thick hair. She felt awful as she heard her father's breath hitch. "Maybe in a few months…"

"Always a few months." Charlie said bitterly. There was an awkward silence for a moment. "I could always come and see you." This was new. Bella felt the knife twist in her stomach. "Just tell me where you are and I'll come to you."

Bella put her head in her hand. "Now is not a good time." She whispered. If she could cry she would be sobbing right now. Edward had been gently coaxing her to cut all ties with her family. But she couldn't quite bring herself to do it. But now she was coming around to his way of thinking. Lying to her father was just too hard. Every time she spoke to him she raised his hopes, before her words crushed it again. "I'm sorry, Dad. I promise…."

"Don't promise me, Bells. Just tell me where you are and I'll come. I won't cause any trouble if that's what you're worried about." Charlie was practically begging now.

"Dad, it's impossible." Bella wanted to cut out her tongue.

There was another beat of silence. "You know Billy told me to be patient, but Jake said not to bother. I always thought the boy was being bitter because of the way things were left between you. But maybe he's right." Charlie hung up abruptly before Bella could respond.


Bella flung the phone away from her before curling up onto her side. She wanted to weep like a child, but her eyes remained dry. Guilt settled on her shoulders like a heavy shroud. This was the price she paid for trying to have everything. It was impossible. She closed her eyes in grief. Charlie had spoken to Jacob. Jacob had told her father not to bother. Bella sucked her lower lip between her teeth as she grabbed a pillow and cuddled it tightly. She drew her knees up to her chest and rested in a foetal position. The one rule she had set for herself when she left Forks forever was never to think about Jacob again. It was too painful. She had nearly succeeded. But one slip up from Charlie had brought him to the forefront of her mind. Bella crushed the pillow in her arms as she squeezed her eyes shut. God, what she wouldn't give to be able to sleep, to erase the pain from her mind, even just for a few hours. She clamped her lips together and let her mind drift….

"This is not the way to spend New Year's, Jake. You could still go to the party. Go have some fun. See more fireworks." Bella hated that he felt he had to stay with her. It wasn't fair. She was sick. It couldn't be much fun for him watching her burning up with a fever. Bella knew she looked awful. She had a red nose, rheumy eyes. Her hair was a bedraggled mess.

Jacob laughed as if she was being silly. "If I went to the party, I wouldn't have anyone to kiss at midnight."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Like you would want to kiss someone with a bunged up nose, and whose coughing and hacking away."

"If it's you I would. You're beautiful even with a runny nose."

He was a charmer. Bella smiled despite feeling like crap. "At least you can't catch this." She envied him his wolf genes which stopped him getting sick. She coughed until her throat was raw.

His fingers smoothed her hair back from her hot forehead. Bella felt his lips brush against her fevered skin. "I wish I could take the pain away." He whispered.

Bella sneezed in response. Jacob laughed softly as he handed her a tissue. "Very romantic." He teased lightly.

"Sorry." Bella apologised sheepishly as she dabbed at her sore nose.

Jacob touched her face tenderly, his expression turning sad. "I'm worried about you." He murmured.

Bella sighed. He was always worried about her, but this time felt different. "What are you so worried about?"

There was no answer. Bella jerked awake, opening her eyes blearily. "Jake, why aren't you answering me? Jake?" She stared around, disorientated.

"Bella." Edward's shocked tone broke through Bella's tangled thoughts.

Bella raised confused eyes to his. "Edward." She breathed. Why was he standing across the room with his back pressed to the wall? His nostrils were flared as he inhaled sharply. "What is wrong with you?"

Edward couldn't seem to answer. He was fighting for control. Bella swallowed thickly. Her nose felt bunged up. She coughed as nausea welled in her throat. She stared anxiously at her husband as she raised her hand to her nose. She touched it gingerly, feeling something warm and liquid on her skin. Bella pulled her hand back and looked fearfully at her fingers. Suspended on her fingertip was a single droplet of blood.

A/N-thanks for reading!