A.N.: Ok, this may be a serious fic, so...here goes! Vote on who you want to win: Lockhart, Harry, Ron, Gred, or Forge. Go Ron Go!

Disclaimer:

Newscaster: All right, now, these election dudes are...Harry Potter, Ron, Gred, and Forge Weasley, and the spectacular, can't-miss-him-but-you-wish-you-do...Gilderoy Lockhart!

Newscaster #2: Yeah...now, we will start with the debate of why these people should be president. This is the election of who will be the next headmaster at...Hoggy-warty Hogwarts! Now, as we all should know but we don't, Albus Dumbledore is living his last years. Now, the floor is going too...Jimmy! Oh, and by the way, watch out, because the floor is going to him -- you might fall. Oops, was I supposed to say that?

Jim Lehrer (debate dude): Uh...yeah. Now, who do you want to win?

Audience: Ro-on, Ro-on!

Jim: Oh. I actually was thinking you would say...Gilderoy Lockhart. Oh, did I actually say that on air? If I didn't, this is what I'm supposed to say: Harry Potter. So I just said it. Now we will see our answers for questions. First question: How do you feel about farting? Let's start with you, Gilderoy.

Gilderoy Lockhart: Oh, fart! What a wonderful word! You know, someone called me an old fart one day! I personally agreed with him! Fart, fart, fart! *Lockhart taps his nose knowingly and winks.*

Jim: Yeah. Now, Harry.

Harry: Uh...so how do I feel about farting? Uh...they're like stinking and uh...they should be banned but if Prof. Binns did it it would give his class some fame?

Jim: Ho. Now, let's go to Ronniekins-with-somefink-on-his-nose.

Ron: Uh, Jim? Is your name, by any chance, Fred or George? Anyway, uh, how do I feel about farting. Well, it stinks?

Jim: Ho again. Now, let's go over to...Gred.

Gred: How do I feel about farting? Well, it would be nice if there was a farting curse to put on Prof. Snape.

Jim: Ho and ho again.

Gred and Forge: That's Snape's name, don't wear it out! :-)

Jim: Hm. So, over to Forge.

Forge: Same as what Gred said. And my name is Gred and his name is Forge. Geez, how dare you call yourself not our mother? She makes as much mistakes as you do!

Jim: Hm. Next question: How do you feel about magic? Let's hear it from...Lockhart, the inevitable man.

Lockhart: Oh, magic, magic! I can do some magic tricks! See this card tr-

Jim: Aa, forget it. Well, It's time for ads, so tune in next week! : -)