Chapter 1

It was a cold and lonely night for Jimmy Pesto. It was 9:30 pm, and all of his employees had gone home for the night. Jimmy was almost always the last one to leave the restaurant mainly because, ya know he lived upstairs. Anyways, Jimmy's long-running depression was acting up again due to his kids being at their mom's this weekend and his occasional lover, Trev, being on vacation this week. Jimmy decided it would be best to head out on the town, rather than to sit alone at home and get drunk.

Jimmy grabbed his jacket and head out. He was off to a new club in town called "The Fat Rig". He had heard that the club had nightly performances by guest singers and comedians. Jimmy arrived at "The Fat Rig", he let himself in and was greeted by a heavy scent of perfume. He looked around the small club; there was a mini bar, a stage, and some round tables surrounding the stage. He also noticed, there was only two other patrons in the bar sitting together at one of the small tables. Jimmy took a seat on the other side of the stage and closer to the bar. A waiter was soon attending to Jimmy, taking his drink order. Jimmy ordered a rum and cola, of which he soon received.

At the moment it was 10:00, and the next performer was about to make their way to the stage. Suddenly, the lights dimmed, and a soothing male voice announced the next act. "We are thrilled to welcome a brand new guest performer, the illustrious, Lady Macaroni!", the voice stopped and the spot lights shined bright on stage. A leg in fishnet stockings poked through the curtains and soon the rest of Ms. Macaroni. She was beautiful, her black, shiny hair gently fell over her left eye. She was wearing a shimmering, form-fitting black dress. Jimmy's heart throbbed. A soft piano melody began to play over the speakers and soon her beautiful voice began to fill the club. " Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree for me. Been an awful good girl. Santa baby, and shimmy down the chimney tonight." , sang a deep, scraggly voice of thick Brooklyn decent.

Jimmy was sweating. He'd never seen a woman of such talent and beauty. He hung on to every word that gracefully fluttered from Lady Macaroni's lips. The two other customers had left, not being able to stand such a "unique" performance. The song faded out on its last note while Lady Macaroni held the last note just a second longer. As she drew silent, she noticed the only member of the audience standing up cheering and whistling. "Thank yo-", Lady Macaroni began to say but was suddenly interrupted by an abrupt smack of the front door opening. Jimmy and Lady Macaroni, both startled, snapped their attention to the door where an angry looking young man with white hair stood glaring at Lady Macaroni. "MAC! What are you doing! I thought you were at the new job you were telling me about?", the white haired man questioned. "Eric, this is the new job!", Mac replied. "Oh No! You told just this morning that you had got a nice retail job downtown. Instead, I find you dressed in drag with what looks like trash you found lying around the house, singing 'Santa Baby' in the middle of July!", Eric exclaimed. "It's a year-round classic and you know it! And another thing, I had to personally go out and buy these grapefruits.", Mac says as he pushed up his grapefruit boobs. "Oh yeah? With what money?", Eric questioned Mac. "Let's call it a loan, eh, buddy.", Mac puts on a nervous grin. "Don't even think about coming home without some rent money, until then I don't care where you sleep! Got it!?", Eric stormed out leaving Mac standing stunned on stage, his jaw nearly to the floor. His grapefruits both fell to the floor from their makeshift grocery bag bra.

Jimmy stood there in awe after watching the ordeal between the two strangers and of the fact Lady Macaroni was a guy, but was significantly less surprised of the previous. With a heavy sigh, Mac picked his grapefruits off the stage floor and slowly walked off stage, pondering where he should spend the night. As Mac gradually made his way to the backstage dressing room, or the customer 'family restroom', he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was the man from the audience, or the entire audience if he thought about it. "Lady Macaroni, that was a stunning performance.", said Jimmy. "Thanks. Lady Macaroni is my stage name. You can call me Mac, and, uh, what can I call you toots?", said Mac whose interest had been caught by the older man. "I'm Jimmy! Ya' know, Jimmy Pesto. From, uh, the restaurant just down the street. You musta' heard of it.", proudly states while wearing a cocky smile. "Doesn't ring a bell. Heh, but cha' tie certainly fits the name, eh, buddy.", Mac motions to Jimmy's Italian flag tie. "Oh, uh, Italy called, they want their flag back, Ha!", Mac laughs at his own dumbass joke. "Oh yeah? Well waste management called, they want their garbage back!" Jimmy motioned to Mac's 'dress', and laughed at his own dumbass joke. " Oh you're good! But, you're right, my dress is actually a garbage bag with holes cut through, but it does a heck of a job showin' off my ass!" Mac turns a little, attempting to look at his own butt. "I'll say! You must be new in town. How's about a drink, huh? On me.", asks Jimmy. "Sure! Just let me go change real quick.", Mac brushes his hair back to its usual up right and slicked back form and attempts to go back to his dressing room but is stopped again by Jimmy. "No, leave it on, my beautiful garbage princess.", Jimmy took Mac's hand and brought it to his lips while doing a small bow as if Mac was truly royalty. Mac blushed.