Hi, this is my first story about Remus Lupin and Tonks! Hope you like it!
What the heck did he mean by 'dangerous'? He keeps telling me that I can't be close to him, and that I'll understand someday. But I won't. I have to know what he's hiding.
I had a feeling my friend Molly Weasley knew. She's known Remus for years. Though deep down, I had a feeling he didn't want me to know.
I apparated in front of the Burrow. Molly must've known I was coming. "Come in Tonks, I have to bake you something, you look awfully skinny and pale these days!"
I tried smiling. "Wotcher."
But of course, there's no fooling Molly Weasley. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I lied. My expression must've given me up. You're a bloody git, Tonks.
"Stop trying to lie, dearie. You're failing miserably," she teased. Then she composed herself again. After giving me a cup of tea, she sat me down at the kitchen table.
Finally, I was ready to tell her. "Is there something going on with Remus? Because, he's telling me he's dangerous! How can he possibly be dangerous! Why can't he accept that I love him!" I started shouting.
Molly looked extremely uncomfortable. "Um, I don't think-"
"You don't think what?" I shouted. "I know you know what's going on with him! Tell me, please!" My voice dropped down to a whisper.
"Well, uh, he's a-" she started.
"Molly!" Arthur burst in from the living room with Lupin. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna call him until I know what he's hiding from me.
I blushed furiously when I saw Lupin look at me with his perfect blue eyes. Those kinds of things made me fall even harder for him. Who cares about the thirteen year difference? Who cares if he's poor? Which I don't get, he can just get a job.
"Yes, Arthur?" Molly asked, getting up.
"Can you come with me for a minute?" he asked, glancing at me. Lupin looked nervous. I could just trace the scars on his face that made him distinctly, Lupin.
I was left alone in the kitchen with him. He scratched the back of his neck again. Grrr, I loved when he did that. "Can you stop doing that?" I snapped.
"What?" he asked, confused.
"You said that I couldn't love you, and you know I love when you do that, so stop! You don't want me throwing myself onto you, so stop!" I started shouting, again. "But I love you," I whispered.
"I'm sorry you feel that way." He looked down at his shoes. "But I'm too old, too poor, and too dangerous. We can't be together. You deserve better than me."
I scowled. "Yeah, I do deserve better, because you can't be a man and accept that someone loves you!"
"You don't deserve the love of, of a monster!" That was one of the few times I've ever seen him lose control.
And, like he always did, Lupin walked away. I was starting to become more familiar with his back than his face. I sat down again, waiting for Molly to come back. But I couldn't help but dwell on what he said. He called himself a monster. Why? It's either he had extremely low self-confidence, or he really was a monster. But because I could never picture him as anybody but the perfect man he was, I went with the first suggestion.
Molly came downstairs five minutes later. I had waited patiently. Now was the time to find out the truth.
"So, he's a what?" I asked excitedly.
"I don't know, I'm sorry," she said, though I knew she was lying. Arthur had probably told her not to tell me.
"Well, I'm just going to head back home, I have work to do anyway," I said, tripping over the leg of the chair as I stood up.
Molly laughed. "Be careful, Tonks." But then she turned serious. She threw the Prophet to me. "Take it, it might come to good use."
And I left, feeling more confused than ever.
That night, I decided to walk to Lupin's apartment. I took my time, basking in the light of the full moon. I knocked on the door loudly. No one answered, even though the light was on. I apparated inside. He was in his bedroom, packing a small bag full of clothes. And a first aid kit. Just as he was about to drink a potion from a glass, I walked in.
He was so startled that he dropped the glass, and the potion spilled all over the floor. He looked at me, his normally calm eyes wild. "What are you doing here?"
"Nothing. What were you about to drink?" I asked. Then I recognized the scent from somewhere. "Why were you about to drink Wolfsbane?"
"No reason," he said quickly. He glanced outside and yelped when he saw the moon. I've never seen him so jumpy before.
"Are you late for something?" I asked, giving him a cold stare.
"Yes, I'm meeting Dumbledore, I really should be going," he said, brushing past me with his bag in his hand.
I just stood there. Then I saw a note on his bedside table.
Dear Remus,
The Shrieking Shack is prepared. You did say that you wanted me to lock and open the cage, am I correct? Please send a reply. Good luck tonight.
-Albus Dumbledore
Why would Lupin need to go to the Shrieking Shack? Well, at least now I knew where to apparate to.
I appeared in a dark room. I looked around, and then I saw a cage. And he was inside.
"What are you doing?" I asked worriedly. He looked at me as if I were the Devil himself.
"What are you doing here? You have to get out! Please!" he shouted. Then he groaned in pain.
"Are you alright?" I cried. I was mad at him, but I couldn't stand to see him in pain.
"Yes, I'm used to it! Get out now, please Nymphadora!" He turned his back on me. He shook violently as he tried taking off his shirt.
"Remus, I'm not leaving! Let me help!" I pleaded.
"No!" it came out as more of a growl. Then he yelled in agony as I watched his body elongate. The bones in his face slowly and painfully formed a snout. I heard a sickening crack as his neck turned into the neck of a werewolf. Because that's what he was, a werewolf.
I couldn't believe that I never figured it out before. He always disappeared on the night of the full moon, and he looked uncomfortable whenever someone just mentioned the word werewolf.
Suddenly, I felt the Prophet that I had folded up in my pocket, the paper Molly gave to me. I turned to the back. And there it was. Remus Lupin was on the list of known werewolves, with his picture beside his name. My tear splattered onto his picture. Then I remembered that I was in the Shrieking Shack again. I looked at him. He was almost done transforming. He started screaming again. My heart broke just hearing and seeing him like that. It looked so incredibly painful, I even felt sympathy for people like Fenrir Greyback, because just like Remus, they had to go through the tremendous and excruciating pain every month on the full moon.
Then I remembered his boggart. The full moon. This was his worst fear. I looked at him again, and he was fully transformed. Of course, I couldn't exactly see him, because the moon wasn't shining on him. I only saw a black outline. But I was in the moonlight. He started banging against the cage, trying to break free. I backed away, not trusting the cage. Or him at the moment.
The moonlight was just outside the cage. I heard ripping noises from within the cage. The moonlight hit him, and I saw what he looked like as a werewolf. It was just so frightening, knowing that that was someone you loved, but cursed to transform into a monster. I had a feeling he couldn't see me anymore because he stopped banging the cage. He was frustrated, though. Then he started ripping himself, scratching himself with his claws. I screamed in horror. Why would he do this to himself? I stumbled out of the Shrieking Shack, to Hagrid's little cottage.
He let me sit by the fire. Then Dumbledore came in, smiling sadly at me. We all sat down at the table.
"You saw him, right?" Dumbledore asked.
I nodded, still too shocked to speak. I finally managed to croak, "Why was he scratching himself?"
"Werewolves eat humans, so if there are none near, they get frustrated and take it out on themselves," he said. Hagrid sat there silently.
"Is it like that every month?" I asked as I heard Remus's haunting howl.
"Yeah," Hagrid said, attempting to cover his ears. "Though this is nothing compared to what he goes through."
And that night, I cried myself to sleep, knowing that somewhere out there, my Remus was slowly killing himself.
The next morning, Hagrid woke me up. It was Saturday.
"Good mornin' Tonks," he said.
"Wotcher," I said, still shaken from my nightmare. It was about Remus as a werewolf.
He probably thought I would never love him after what I saw last night. But the truth is, I loved him even more now. His lycanthropy would never stop me from loving him, even though he believed that because of his lycanthropy, he didn't deserve love. He was wrong. He deserved it even more.
After eating breakfast with Hagrid and Fang, I waited as Hagrid unlocked the cage that held Remus. I looked out the window, waiting to see what had become of him. I was horrified to see that Hagrid had to help him walk. He was so thin! And there were a few new scars on his face. His eyes looked empty. He looked sick. And this was partly my fault. It wouldn't have been as bad if I hadn't startled him last night. Without the Wolfsbane, he didn't have his human mind, making him even more wild.
I watched as Remus tried, and failed, to open the heavy door into the cottage. Hagrid had to carry him up the steps. And Remus collapsed as soon as he reached the chair.
I watched him sleep. Hagrid went up to the castle, leaving me with him and Fang. He looked peaceful when he was asleep, though the new scars screamed for attention. I traced them lightly with my finger. He opened his eyes slowly. I had accidentally woken him.
"I'm sorry," I said. I tried desperately to turn my hair bubble gum pink, but it stayed it's boring, mousy brown.
"No, I'm sorry you had to see that." He couldn't even look at me.
"I'm sorry that you couldn't drink the Wolfsbane Potion, it was my fault," I said.
"Enough apologies," he said, and smiled weakly. I smiled back, too.
We stared at each other for a moment. I looked down after a moment. He did too. Of course. He picked up his mug of coffee, though his hand was shaking as he lifted it from the table. Just as it was about to drop, I took it from him.
"Thank you," he said. I didn't answer. I just kissed his cheek, and when I pulled away, he was blushing madly. I giggled at that. That was one of the things I loved about him. Well, there were tons that I loved about him.
I looked into his eyes. They were blue again. But I would always recognize his eyes because of the depth. It seemed deep enough to swim in.
The images from last night came back into my mind. He was a terrifying werewolf, yet a kind human being right now. It didn't matter if he was a werewolf. He was my werewolf.
Well, that's the end! Please review!
