Link Meets Snow white
Note: Ok hear it is. . .I am jazzed . . . .(did I just say Jazzed?) Any way I am leaving for
Disney for a week. So I decided to try my hand at a comedy piece. I hope you all like it. .
.for my mind is twisted. .oh yes. All fear the mighty Bunny Girle . .ignore the name.
Scene: (Adult Link is walking through the Lost woods and falls through a portal that
lands him in the Disney version of Snow white and the seven dwarves. Confused about
where he is he wonders about aimlessly until he finds a small cottage in the woods and
decides to stop and ask for directions.)
Link: Hello (knocks on door) Anyone at home?
Snow white: (From behind the door) Who is it?
Link: (Startled by the high pitched voice begins to look around frantically) Uh. . .hello?
Snow white: Hello?
Link: (Looks around again and scratches his head.) Hello? Uh yeah. I am sorry to bother
you but I'm lost and I was wondering if you could tell me how to get back to the Lost
woods. . .
Snow white: I am sorry but I can not let you in. You see the dwarfs told me not to.
Link: I under stand that bu. . . Did you just say dwarfs?
Snow white: Yes.
Link: (Looks very confused) That's ok, you don't have to let me in if you would just tell
me how to get back to the lost woods I'd really appreciate it.
(The door opens and Link ducks as two blue birds fly out of the small house. As they do
they sing happily. Link now looking very puzzled stares at Snow white who blushes.)
Snow White: Oh my are you a prince?
Link: No. .I'm Link.
Snow White: Well you look innocent enough.
Link: (Gives her a nervous smile and scratches his head.) I guess you failed to notice the
sword, the shield, the arrows, the bombs, and all the other fighting things I am careening
huh?
Snow White: What? Oh my. Your not the which are you?
link: (Spins around quickly.) You mean Koume and Kotake where are they. . .I thought I
beat them.
Snow White: Oh my you must be a powerful knight to beet two witches.
Link: Uh. . .no.
Snow White: Your not a knight?
Link: Well no. . .I guess. . .well I haven't been officially knighted yet so no I am not a
knight. Uh. .could you tell me the directions now?
Snow White: Oh if you beat two witches then you can help me.
Link: What? No see I have to. . .
Snow White: (Grabs Link's hand and pulls him into the cottage.) Come in won't you.
Link: ( Stands rigged and looks around the small cottage. He sees that there are many
small animals surrounding him. He slowly walks by them as they all stare at him with
very large eyes. Link shudders as he backs away from a very small and cute chipmunk.)
Oh. . .god.
Snow White: Please won't you sit down?
Link: (Makes a face as he stares at the animals) No. . .that's ok. . .I prefer to run ,. . .I
mean stand. Thanks anyway.
Snow White: (Sits down on a very small chair and puts her hands on her hips. Instantly
the animals run to her side as Link jumps out of their way.) So tell me, what brings you
into the forest? (Starts to pet the animals)
Link: Is that safe?
Snow White: What?
Link: Petting all of those animals. Don't they have fleas and things.
Snow White: What? No they are all very helpful.
Link: What do you mean by very helpful?
Snow white: (Stands and giggles as she walks over to the window and opens the
shudders) I will show you. (Starts to sing.)
Link: (Watches in horror as deer and many more animals pile into the small cottage.)
AHH! Oh man we are under attack.
Snow White: (Starts to sing whistle while you work.)
Link: (Watches as Snow white picks up a plate and lets one of the deer lick it and then
sets it in the shelf.) Ohh that is just sick.
Snow White: (Stops singing and stares at Link. The deer run out of the house.) What is?
Link: You just let that deer lick that plate. Don't you eat off of those?
Snow White: Well yes silly, what else would I eat off of?
Link: God lady. . .What the heck is wrong with you? There are animals all around this
place, look there's fur every where. How can you stand it. (Link suddenly looks very
sympathetic.) I'm sorry. It must be tuff living out hear all alone.
Snow White: Oh I'm not alone. The Dwarfs live hear to.
Link: Dwarfs?
Snow white: Yes
Link: Look now your being silly.
Snow White: No they are very dear little men.
Link: Men? Are you related to them some how?
Snow White: No.
Link: Married to one?
Snow White: No, I am going to marry a prince.
Link: Are they holding you against their will?
Snow White: No, they are letting me stay. And to thank them I clean their house and their
dishes and their cloths.
Link: Lady if you are cleaning their dishes with animals what are you cleaning their
cloths with?
Snow White: Oh the birds help me with that.
Link: Birds? Lady Birds poop on every thing they land on.
Snow White: I am starting to think you are a very confused young man.
Link: Can you just tell me how to get back to the Lost woods?
Snow White: I have never heard of that place. (Smiles and twirls around upon seeing
Links frustrated face.) How about a nice song?
Link: NO! I mean no thank you. I have to go. . nice meeting you uh, er. .
Snow White: Snow White.
Link: What? Of course snow is white, if it's yellow then you have a real problem.
Snow White: No that's my name.
link: Your name is Snow White?
Snow White: Yes.
Link: What kind of name is that?
Snow White: One my mother gave to me as she was dying.
Link: (Looking nervous) I'm sorry.
Snow White: Oh don't be. I wish you could stay for a while.
Link: Uh. . .no that's ok I really have to go. Bye. (Turns to quickly leave but bumps into
Grumpy who looks up at him with a frown. Link jumps back with as the seven dwarfs
enter.)
Snow White: Oh hello?
Doc: Who is this?
Grumpy: Some trick of the Evil Queen's.
Link: Hey now I know Zelda is a bit of a brat but she's not evil.
Sleepy: (Yawns) Looks like a Prince ta me. See that sword.
Link: I'm not a prince I. .
Bashful: (Peeks around Dopey and smiles at Link. Like stares at him as Dopey winks.)
High.
Link: That's it. (Pushes past the dwarves.)
Snow White: Wait, I knew that "one day my prince would come. . "
Grumpy: Great you got her singing now we'll never get her to shut up. Hey where you
goin kid.
Link: Who are you people. Do you work for Ganon?
Dopey: (Shakes his head and we hear a rattling. link looks at him blank face and then
runs off into the woods screaming.)
Snow white: Damn it. . .I thought for sure we had that one. Oh well who's next on the list.
Doc: Some guy named Ganon.
(Some times latter link is walking through the forest. Naiv Flys out from under his hat
and hovers near him.)
Navi: They must have been possessed.
Link: Yeah. . .Wait a minuet. You were awake? Why didn't you say something?
Naiv: Link I am a bit to smart for that. Do you think I want to be around animals who's
eyes are about to explode because they are to big?
Link: I guess not. Do you know how to get back to the lost wo. . .
Evil Queen: Snow White there you are. . .Hey who are you?
Link: Are you the Evil Queen?
Evil Queen: Yes.
Link: Looking for Snow white are you?
Evil Queen: Yes how did you know.
Link: She's that way. (Points)
Evil Queen: Uh. . .thanks. . .(Takes out her mirror and sets it up against a tree.)
Link: Oh hell what now?
Naiv: I think she is looking at her make up.
Evil Queen: Mirror Mirror on the . . .uh. tree. . .Is this boy more fair than me?
Mirror: (Looks at Link and then the Queen) Hell yes he's one hot tamale.
Link: (Turns red with anger and throws his hat on the ground) Hey I am not, don't say
that.
Naiv: I think we better go. This woman is a witch.
Link: (Glares at Navi) What gave it away. . the large mirror?
Naiv: Don't be a smart ass.
Evil Queen: I guess I have to kill him to.
Link: Look I don't live in this world. I am on my way home.
Evil Queen: Fine then I guess I'll go ahead and Kill Snow White.
Link: Good you do that.
Evil Queen: (Puts the mirror away and heads towards the cottage.) Bye
Link: I want out of here.
Navi: This place is scary. .oh no.
Link: What?
Navi: Look out Link it's the animals they are following you. Oh no hide me from their
evil cuteness. (Hides in Link's hat.)
Link: (Runs away screaming as cute bunnies and other forest animals run after him.)
AHH help. . .Sages save me.
(There is a flash of light and link finds himself facing the sages. They look relived.)
Siara: Thank god we got you back. I'm sorry Link.
Link: How did I get there.
Impa: It was some fanfic writer. She thought that it would be funny to write you into that
situation. Her name is Bunny Girle, we must fear her.
Link: Oh know you mean I was trapped in a. .
Nabooru: Yes afraid so. You were trapped in a cliché
Note: Ok hear it is. . .I am jazzed . . . .(did I just say Jazzed?) Any way I am leaving for
Disney for a week. So I decided to try my hand at a comedy piece. I hope you all like it. .
.for my mind is twisted. .oh yes. All fear the mighty Bunny Girle . .ignore the name.
Scene: (Adult Link is walking through the Lost woods and falls through a portal that
lands him in the Disney version of Snow white and the seven dwarves. Confused about
where he is he wonders about aimlessly until he finds a small cottage in the woods and
decides to stop and ask for directions.)
Link: Hello (knocks on door) Anyone at home?
Snow white: (From behind the door) Who is it?
Link: (Startled by the high pitched voice begins to look around frantically) Uh. . .hello?
Snow white: Hello?
Link: (Looks around again and scratches his head.) Hello? Uh yeah. I am sorry to bother
you but I'm lost and I was wondering if you could tell me how to get back to the Lost
woods. . .
Snow white: I am sorry but I can not let you in. You see the dwarfs told me not to.
Link: I under stand that bu. . . Did you just say dwarfs?
Snow white: Yes.
Link: (Looks very confused) That's ok, you don't have to let me in if you would just tell
me how to get back to the lost woods I'd really appreciate it.
(The door opens and Link ducks as two blue birds fly out of the small house. As they do
they sing happily. Link now looking very puzzled stares at Snow white who blushes.)
Snow White: Oh my are you a prince?
Link: No. .I'm Link.
Snow White: Well you look innocent enough.
Link: (Gives her a nervous smile and scratches his head.) I guess you failed to notice the
sword, the shield, the arrows, the bombs, and all the other fighting things I am careening
huh?
Snow White: What? Oh my. Your not the which are you?
link: (Spins around quickly.) You mean Koume and Kotake where are they. . .I thought I
beat them.
Snow White: Oh my you must be a powerful knight to beet two witches.
Link: Uh. . .no.
Snow White: Your not a knight?
Link: Well no. . .I guess. . .well I haven't been officially knighted yet so no I am not a
knight. Uh. .could you tell me the directions now?
Snow White: Oh if you beat two witches then you can help me.
Link: What? No see I have to. . .
Snow White: (Grabs Link's hand and pulls him into the cottage.) Come in won't you.
Link: ( Stands rigged and looks around the small cottage. He sees that there are many
small animals surrounding him. He slowly walks by them as they all stare at him with
very large eyes. Link shudders as he backs away from a very small and cute chipmunk.)
Oh. . .god.
Snow White: Please won't you sit down?
Link: (Makes a face as he stares at the animals) No. . .that's ok. . .I prefer to run ,. . .I
mean stand. Thanks anyway.
Snow White: (Sits down on a very small chair and puts her hands on her hips. Instantly
the animals run to her side as Link jumps out of their way.) So tell me, what brings you
into the forest? (Starts to pet the animals)
Link: Is that safe?
Snow White: What?
Link: Petting all of those animals. Don't they have fleas and things.
Snow White: What? No they are all very helpful.
Link: What do you mean by very helpful?
Snow white: (Stands and giggles as she walks over to the window and opens the
shudders) I will show you. (Starts to sing.)
Link: (Watches in horror as deer and many more animals pile into the small cottage.)
AHH! Oh man we are under attack.
Snow White: (Starts to sing whistle while you work.)
Link: (Watches as Snow white picks up a plate and lets one of the deer lick it and then
sets it in the shelf.) Ohh that is just sick.
Snow White: (Stops singing and stares at Link. The deer run out of the house.) What is?
Link: You just let that deer lick that plate. Don't you eat off of those?
Snow White: Well yes silly, what else would I eat off of?
Link: God lady. . .What the heck is wrong with you? There are animals all around this
place, look there's fur every where. How can you stand it. (Link suddenly looks very
sympathetic.) I'm sorry. It must be tuff living out hear all alone.
Snow White: Oh I'm not alone. The Dwarfs live hear to.
Link: Dwarfs?
Snow white: Yes
Link: Look now your being silly.
Snow White: No they are very dear little men.
Link: Men? Are you related to them some how?
Snow White: No.
Link: Married to one?
Snow White: No, I am going to marry a prince.
Link: Are they holding you against their will?
Snow White: No, they are letting me stay. And to thank them I clean their house and their
dishes and their cloths.
Link: Lady if you are cleaning their dishes with animals what are you cleaning their
cloths with?
Snow White: Oh the birds help me with that.
Link: Birds? Lady Birds poop on every thing they land on.
Snow White: I am starting to think you are a very confused young man.
Link: Can you just tell me how to get back to the Lost woods?
Snow White: I have never heard of that place. (Smiles and twirls around upon seeing
Links frustrated face.) How about a nice song?
Link: NO! I mean no thank you. I have to go. . nice meeting you uh, er. .
Snow White: Snow White.
Link: What? Of course snow is white, if it's yellow then you have a real problem.
Snow White: No that's my name.
link: Your name is Snow White?
Snow White: Yes.
Link: What kind of name is that?
Snow White: One my mother gave to me as she was dying.
Link: (Looking nervous) I'm sorry.
Snow White: Oh don't be. I wish you could stay for a while.
Link: Uh. . .no that's ok I really have to go. Bye. (Turns to quickly leave but bumps into
Grumpy who looks up at him with a frown. Link jumps back with as the seven dwarfs
enter.)
Snow White: Oh hello?
Doc: Who is this?
Grumpy: Some trick of the Evil Queen's.
Link: Hey now I know Zelda is a bit of a brat but she's not evil.
Sleepy: (Yawns) Looks like a Prince ta me. See that sword.
Link: I'm not a prince I. .
Bashful: (Peeks around Dopey and smiles at Link. Like stares at him as Dopey winks.)
High.
Link: That's it. (Pushes past the dwarves.)
Snow White: Wait, I knew that "one day my prince would come. . "
Grumpy: Great you got her singing now we'll never get her to shut up. Hey where you
goin kid.
Link: Who are you people. Do you work for Ganon?
Dopey: (Shakes his head and we hear a rattling. link looks at him blank face and then
runs off into the woods screaming.)
Snow white: Damn it. . .I thought for sure we had that one. Oh well who's next on the list.
Doc: Some guy named Ganon.
(Some times latter link is walking through the forest. Naiv Flys out from under his hat
and hovers near him.)
Navi: They must have been possessed.
Link: Yeah. . .Wait a minuet. You were awake? Why didn't you say something?
Naiv: Link I am a bit to smart for that. Do you think I want to be around animals who's
eyes are about to explode because they are to big?
Link: I guess not. Do you know how to get back to the lost wo. . .
Evil Queen: Snow White there you are. . .Hey who are you?
Link: Are you the Evil Queen?
Evil Queen: Yes.
Link: Looking for Snow white are you?
Evil Queen: Yes how did you know.
Link: She's that way. (Points)
Evil Queen: Uh. . .thanks. . .(Takes out her mirror and sets it up against a tree.)
Link: Oh hell what now?
Naiv: I think she is looking at her make up.
Evil Queen: Mirror Mirror on the . . .uh. tree. . .Is this boy more fair than me?
Mirror: (Looks at Link and then the Queen) Hell yes he's one hot tamale.
Link: (Turns red with anger and throws his hat on the ground) Hey I am not, don't say
that.
Naiv: I think we better go. This woman is a witch.
Link: (Glares at Navi) What gave it away. . the large mirror?
Naiv: Don't be a smart ass.
Evil Queen: I guess I have to kill him to.
Link: Look I don't live in this world. I am on my way home.
Evil Queen: Fine then I guess I'll go ahead and Kill Snow White.
Link: Good you do that.
Evil Queen: (Puts the mirror away and heads towards the cottage.) Bye
Link: I want out of here.
Navi: This place is scary. .oh no.
Link: What?
Navi: Look out Link it's the animals they are following you. Oh no hide me from their
evil cuteness. (Hides in Link's hat.)
Link: (Runs away screaming as cute bunnies and other forest animals run after him.)
AHH help. . .Sages save me.
(There is a flash of light and link finds himself facing the sages. They look relived.)
Siara: Thank god we got you back. I'm sorry Link.
Link: How did I get there.
Impa: It was some fanfic writer. She thought that it would be funny to write you into that
situation. Her name is Bunny Girle, we must fear her.
Link: Oh know you mean I was trapped in a. .
Nabooru: Yes afraid so. You were trapped in a cliché
