Chapter One
In which Yama is awkward and the Captain is disturbed
Yama couldn't quite grasp why the crew insisted on getting hopelessly drunk and beating each other up for celebration. The noise, the deafening cries that seemed to echo the battlefield filled the boy with disgust. All Yama wanted to was crawl into a dark corner and sleep for a few hundred years.
The Arcadia had successfully exposed everyone to the truth about the Gaia Coalition and was now sailing in quiet open space. The crew was injured and beaten down, but the immense victory broke through all those feelings. Yattaran had led everyone into a loud raunchy song about a alien prostitute when Yama finally decided his time was better spent finding somewhere quiet.
Yama wandered out into the dark corridors of his home, listening to the quiet hum of the dark matter that seemed to be burning in his blood. The hallway ended up at the main deck, where a single figure was outlined in the sparks of lightning and lights of stars probably long dead. Yama's stomach flopped when he realized that the figure was indeed that of the Captain, his cloak fluttering in the darkness. How typical of the pirate to be up here, alone, instead of with his crew. Yama swallowed his nerves and padded out to stand next to Harlock. The man turned and looked at him, his single eye lit in a sudden crack of lightning.
"Hello," The Captain murmured, looking back out into space. A little voice in Yama's head noted how the angle suited the harsh lines of Harlock's jaw, and how nice it would be if his cloak didn't cover so much? The young man quickly pushed that thought down and replied before his head could come up with more ridiculous thoughts.
"Hi."
They lapsed into silence and both men stared out into the stars. The dark matter hummed and swirled, Miime most likely speeding up their travel. Yama felt an awkward desire to say something, anything, that properly convey what he was feeling about everything that had happened. Words to describe the horror at seeing his Captain in chains, the feelings that sparked when the same man started to cry at the sight of a single flower the represented everything he had ever wanted. But those words escaped Yama, and he hated that.
Harlock was leaning over the railing, his hair covering his face when he finally spoke again. "Why aren't you down with the rest of the crew?" His voice was slightly hoarse, but faded into silky syllables that sent Yama's stomach into a full blown panic. How strange that a simple voice could do that much damage.
"They were getting too rowdy for my tastes. I-I'd much rather be somewhere quiet. The view here is a lot better anyway." Yama winced as he realized the implications his words sent. He needed to stop staring at the Captain before he humiliated himself.
Ever since the newest member of the Arcadia had come aboard, he had been horribly conflicted. Yama so dearly wanted to please his brother, to right all the wrongs he did to Erza. However, the Captain's deadly, yet beautiful visage, endlessly tormented the operative. Yama wanted to be around that mysterious hell of a man, to unravel the secrets he seemed harbor. It was hopelessly romantic and utterly stupid. Harlock had never shown any particular interest in anyone or anything except a few key moments, like when he dove out of his ship into the pit to riskily pull out Yama moments before he would have suffocated or have gotten eaten. All for a lowly new member, as well as a mole. It was baffling. It was the moment when Harlock stood on the railing of the falling ship, his mask covering everything but his single fiery eye, that Yama truly felt that he couldn't kill, he couldn't destroy this man. The Captain was too exotic, too utterly intoxicating, that Yama knew he wasn't going to be coming away without being much too enamored with this pirate. The Gaia Coalition could go fuck itself, this was something much more than they could control. A man who was much more than a man.
And that man was currently speaking to Yama as he day dreamed
"I have never been too fond of dealing crowds of drunken pirates. It's pleasant to know someone shares my distaste." Harlock shifted his weight and glanced at his protégée, his face open and inviting. Yama mused that perhaps it got lonely without anyone to talk to.
"I don't think I've seen you drink with the crew, ever in my time here. Don't you get lonely without the comforts of a person with common views?"
"I do not think my comforts matter when it comes to gaining respect. If I were to lower myself to the point of getting drunk with my crew, a certain degree of respect would be lost. There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely, Yama." Harlock turned and looked at Yama full on, his gaze penetrating and dark. The younger man swallowed.
"I suppose that makes sense, but being captain means you have to have a relationship with your men. I don't think I'd be able to hold myself so aloof, and even then you wouldn't necessarily be getting drunk with them. You can still be friendly without degrading yourself."
There was a long pause before Harlock graced Yama with his voice again. "No. You'll understand when you have the full weight of a crew of human lives on your shoulders. Perhaps you are already starting to grasp that. You are here, afterall. Away from the others," He said smoothly.
That threw Yama for a loop, his thoughts spinning away from his grasp as he struggled to form a coherent response. How to describe his grief, his longings into simple words? The longing for companionship, yet hating being in the company of others?
"I- I don't know how to describe what it is, but...something is different now. Like something important has fundamentally changed and I don't think I can get it back." Yama felt his face flush at the stuttering of his words. Even as he regretted speaking, something shifted in Harlock's face and a look of understanding bled through his carefully constructed mask.
"Would you like to have a drink with me in my quarters?" The Captain asked suddenly, sitting up from his position on the railing. As his broad shoulders straightened, a large black mass swooped in from the adjoining hall and rested itself against the Captain's neck affectionately. Yama reached out a hand and pet the bird as he replied.
"I would love to."
Harlock and his bird turned and started down the hallway, the red cloak billowing dramatically like it always did. Yama hurried behind him. They walked briskly through several halls, the lights low and flickering, until they stopped at a nondescript grey door. Harlock flung it open and Mr. Bird and Yama hurried inside as if they hesitated too long the invitation would disappear. The inside of the Captain's chambers were lavish, great red curtains and ancient tapestries of war on Earth from thousands of years ago hanging from the tall walls. In the center was a large oak table, where several chairs sat waiting to be occupied. The Captain pulled out a chair for his guest and popped open a bottle of wine as Yama stared at the gothic decorations. To his right, an adjoining room's door was slightly ajar, and the boy could see a large bed with lovely red and gold blankets that were spread neatly. Everything was as extravagant and dignified as Yama had imagined for his Captain.
Harlock shrugged off his cloak and laid it on the chair where he sat with flourish. He poured himself a glass of the red wine and leaned back to stare at his companion, the bird perched on the chair next to him. They sat in pleasant silence for several minutes, the wine settling Yama's head into a nice buzz. Hell, he could fall asleep right now, if it wasn't for the fact Harlock was staring at him straight on.
The Captain's hair was brushed out of his face and his eye was glinting in the candlelight. He seemed expectant, waiting for Yama to say something enlightening, and the boy honestly had no clue how to live up to that.
"What was it like, seeing Earth engulfed in dark matter?" Yama blurted out before his brain could gain check of his unruly tongue. Harlock heaved a great sigh and took a long gulp of his wine before replying.
"It was… horrifying. I was incredibly angry, but it ebbed away as I saw my home being destroyed. It only took a minute, but it felt like hours. Everything was frozen in time, even the other ships were completely still. When the planet was finally engulfed, everything erupted with gunfire and the hoarse screams of dying men and ships colliding was the only thing I could feel. Miime was struggling to gain control over the dark matter as we plummeted toward the planet I killed, and Tochiro was dead in my arms. I can still remember every horrid detail to this day, in perfect clarity."
Yama sat in stunned silence for a while, struggling to soak in Harlock's own words on the matter. Mr. Bird made a noise akin to a purr and tucked his face in the Captain's neck. Yama's face felt hot as the other man smiled at his feathered admirer. It was incredible how such simple things like smiling or speaking could completely wreck Yama. He couldn't decide to let himself be enamored or to hate those pesky emotions.
Both men continued drinking wine and enjoying the warmth of the candles that quivered. When Yama finally left, the large clock on the wall announced that it was the dead of night. Harlock had smiled a rare, dazzling smile that bared rows of pearly teeth, and told Yama to come back to drink with him more often. The other stumbled on his way out at this and almost hit his head in the doorway before telling the Captain, yes, he would definitely be coming for another drink.
Harlock shut his door, his smile turning wry as he stared at his door. How pathetic, to feel lonely without a person beside him. Despicable, to be so weak as to enjoy Yama's company. The pirate turned away and stripped off his shirt to get some much needed sleep.
