It's bright.
I'd shield my eyes but I don't think it would help much.
You're disappearing.
I'd worry but I know that everything that goes up must come down.
Eventually.
I can wait. After all, I have time. I have time.
Time and nothing else until you come down as you eventually will, as you eventually should, as you eventually must or else I will be nothing again, nothing and time.
Mm… Is that you? No, a bird…
Above the clouds is a long way away, in the clouds is a long way away, beneath the clouds is a long way away, everywhere that is not beside me seems so unbearably distant and all the strings I've tied to you unwind into a thousand tangled skeins. And I am nothing.
All the pressure of the atmosphere, all the pressure of your task, all the pressure of your existence, every thing surrounds me and presses without relent until I shatter into a thousand jagged pieces. And I am nothing.
He crossed the world for you, he can follow you into the clouds, he keeps you up at night because you think you might love him, everyone surrounds you in protection I can't give and everyone will always be a thousand steps closer to you. And I am nothing.
Nothing cannot protect you, nothing cannot speak to you, nothing cannot do more than watch you, nothing cannot hold you, nothing cannot put her nose against your cheek and seek out your lips and feel you gasp and press her lips against yours hard enough to prove she's serious and soft enough to let you know she understands why your lips will not, should not, must not, press back.
The man who crossed the world will protect you, the man who can also fly as far as he wants to will speak to you, the boy who thinks he might love you will hold you and put his nose against your cheek and seek out your lips and feel you gasp and press his lips against yours hard enough to prove he has no idea what he's doing and soft enough to let you know he hopes your lips will, should, must press back. The woman who is done thinking that she might love you will have nothing.
Except time. And tears.
Enough tears to make an ocean of the world that betrayed her and that reflects the sky that she prays every night will not betray you.
But an ocean world would leave you with no place to land and you must come down.
I may be nothing but I will wait here and watch for you with every string between us pulled taught. Watch for you to land next to me but still so very far away. Watch for you to fall because I know that an unlucky woman's prayers cannot keep the sky from shooting you down.
Eventually.
I can wait. After all, I have time. I have time.
And when you fall I'll rewind it again and again and- he'll cross the world to find you- again and again- he'll scatter the stars and part the clouds and burn down the sun in its own fire for hurting you- again and- he'll rush to your side once you've hit the ground and shattered- again- but I won't give him a chance.
Or him.
Or him.
The day you fall I will throw away time and stand on my own for once. I will be solely nothing and nothing will be enough.
The day you fall I'll catch you. I'll catch you. But I'll let you go because birds should not be caged.
What was that? The clouds exploded and- you're here. You're safe. The closer you get, the farther apart we are but-
Are my eyes wet? They must be.
It's bright.
