A/N: So I haven't been very active fanfic-wise 8| Go figure the first thing I post is short and crack, right? Anywaaayy I've been watching GX, so I wrote something for it trololo. I dedicate this to Mik and Asa because they apparently wanted to see my crack for whatever reason~ DO NOT TAKE THIS FIC SERIOUSLY THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO EXPLANATION AT ALL FOR WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

For reference: I was debating what to call Hell Johan before I started writing this, but due to both some headcanon and the fact that Hell Johan, Yubel Johan, and that other fandom name I refuse to type are all really awkward to say, he's just Johan. He is definitely the evil version, though.

And I suck at Haou forever but I hope you enjoy this regardless.


The shop bell tinkled as Johan grinned mockingly, holding the door open. "After you, my lord."

Haou ignored this blatant disrespect and walked in, shoes clicking against the bright pink floor tiles. He surveyed the various flavors of ice cream with little interest; this had been his idea, but they had a rather limited selection of flavors here. He continued his searching with disdain.

"Someone's certainly picky," Johan remarked, placing his order. Haou ignored this as well - he had better things to do than banter with his foolish, admittedly very attractive, companion for the day. Such as finding the ice cream flavor he desired to eat.

After a bit of staring at the menu, Haou's eyes rested on what might have been the most glorious thing in this desolately cute store. It was pinker than the adorably pink floor tiles and his fuzzy pillows, though it had blue swirls in it, and as the Supreme King he needed it immediately.

"Cotton candy." This was said in so serious a voice and with so intense a deadpan expression that the clerk wasn't sure if he should laugh or be terrified, though Johan snickered, apparently finding something about this amusing. Haou didn't react, deeming this childishness unworthy of his attention.

Roughly ten minutes later, which was apparently far too long for Johan's measly attention span considering he was currently huffing incessantly, the two of them had their ice cream. Haou took his and walked to a table, clearly expecting Johan to follow him. Johan rolled his eyes and trailed along after him. The clerk was left at the counter unpayed, though he decided not to question it considering they hadn't actually left the store yet.

Johan wasted no time in basically attacking his ice cream, though Haou was suddenly finding himself preoccupied. He stared silently as Johan licked the ice cream cone in his hand. And licked it again. And again. He really knew how to use that tongue of his. It was very distracting; Haou looked down at his own ice cream to find it melting, dripping over his fingers. He stared at it dully.

"Need some help with that?" Johan asked offhandedly, looking over at Haou's ice cream and grabbing a few napkins. Haou looked at the napkins darkly and scoffed.

"Use your tongue."

Johan blinked, momentarily stunned, and then smirked. "...I was wondering why you had a hard on."