We reluctantly pulled apart from the searing kiss, the need for oxygen momentarily outweighing our desperate need for each other. I pressed my forehead to hers as I slowly opened my eyes, looking into those deep blue oceans that I so adored.
"I love you, Zona," I whispered, my nickname for her so easily spilling from my lips.
"God, I love you, too," she replied earnestly with a tear running down her cheek. "I don't ever want to lose you again."
I shot her a smile, one that I had hoped would convey every ounce of love I felt for her, and brought a hand to her cheek to wipe away the single tear.
"You won't," I promised her softly. "I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere."
She returned my smile before pressing her lips to mine once again in a short but sweet kiss.
"Besides," I added with a chuckle, "I'm gonna need your help with these ten kids of ours."
She laughed, the first full-on laugh I'd heard from her in weeks, and I felt my heart swell. That laugh, those dimples, the way her eyes danced with happiness, all of the things I loved about Arizona that were finally mine again. I sighed happily, enjoying the light moment between us. And then, just as quickly as it came, it was gone. We both remembered where we were and what had happened earlier, and I suddenly felt tired.
"Can we go home?" she asked in a small voice.
"Yes, please," I replied quickly.
With her hand in mind, our fingers tangled together, I pulled her with me through the crowd and we escaped to my apartment building across the street unstopped. We hadn't said anything to each other since we left the hospital, and as I slid my key into the door I found myself actually enjoying the silence between us. All I needed was her physical presence to feel safe and loved.
As we stepped inside the apartment, our hands still joined, I noticed Christina sitting alone on the couch, seemingly staring into space.
"Christina," I called her name, snapping her out of her reverie.
She turned and looked at me, her eyes heavy and her cheeks wet with tears. It hit me right then that I didn't know the whereabouts of all of my friends, my co-workers… my family. I dropped Arizona's hand and ran to my roommate, who quickly stood up to meet my embrace. I felt her body melt into mine as if she could no longer stand on her own, and I held her to me tightly.
"I'm so glad you're okay," I said to her as we held each other close.
"You too, Cal," she replied with a shaky voice.
When I pulled back from the embrace, she glanced over to the door and finally noticed Arizona standing there. She looked back and forth between us, a soft smile gracing her face.
"Dr. Robbins, I –" Christina began.
Arizona held up her hand to cut her off, walking towards my roommate.
"It's Arizona," she replied simply before pulling Christina into a hug.
They stepped back after a moment and I heard the bathroom door open behind us. A shirtless, ragged-looking Owen Hunt stepped out of the bathroom, heavy bandages visible on his chest.
"Oh my God, Owen," I breathed out, rushing to him. "What happened?"
"I'm okay," he replied with a brave smile. "We're okay."
Arizona soon joined me as we assessed Owen's shoulder. Blood was slowly seeping through the bandages, and my mind went into auto-pilot.
"We need to redress that," I told him in a stern doctor voice.
"Callie, it's fine," he replied, just as stern. "Please, leave it. For now."
I drew in a deep breath and nodded slowly. I brought my hand to Owen's cheek, trying to connect with him and let him know he wasn't alone. He leaned into my touch and smiled back at me. I stepped back towards Arizona and grabbed her hand in mine, unable to go another moment without feeling her next to me.
I nodded at both Owen and Christina before pulling Arizona with me towards my bedroom. We closed the door softly, the warm comfort of the room enveloping us in safety. Arizona and I had shared so much in this room, in this bed, that after the events of the day it was likely the only place either of us would feel safe for a long time.
"Callie," she whispered my name softly, pulling my gaze back to her.
"We're okay," I repeated Owen's sentiments from before.
She nodded, unable to say much more. We simply stood there, staring at each other, before I suddenly took two large steps towards her and wrapped my arms around her. She melted into my embrace and held me close, burying her face in the crook of my neck. I breathed in her unique scent as her hand rubbed soothing circles into the small of my back. She pulled away from the embrace a moment later, looking deep into my eyes.
"Callie," she said my name again. "Please."
I knew exactly what she needed from the one simple word. Swallowing hard, I pressed a delicate kiss to her forehead before grabbing the hem of her scrub top and slipping it up and over her head. I stepped closer and planted open-mouthed kisses along her collarbone as I untied the strings of her scrub pants. She tangled her fingers in my hair and moaned softly, encouraging me to continue. I hooked my fingers inside the elastic waistband of her panties and pulled them down to her ankles along with her pants. I dragged my hands up her smooth legs, over her curvy hips, and along her soft ribcage, savoring each inch of her exquisite skin. As I reached behind her back to unclasp her bra, she pressed her lips against mine again. I pulled the lacy garment away from her body and dropped it in the pile of her already discarded clothes, moaning into her mouth.
I stepped back from the kiss in order to pull my own scrub top off of me. Before diving back in for another searing kiss, I took a moment to admire her beautiful body. I silently vowed to recommit every single inch to my memory and never forget it. Every wrinkle, every dimple, and every scar was so uniquely Arizona, and I wanted to kiss and touch and taste them all. She patiently allowed me to so blatantly stare at her naked form, never once blushing with embarrassment or moving to cover herself.
"God, you are so beautiful," I whispered, looking into her eyes.
I crashed my lips to hers, our tongues wrestling and our hands roaming. We pulled apart only when she lifted the scrub top over my head, coming back to each other's lips as soon as it hit the floor. She undressed me quickly and pulled me on top of her on the bed, our naked bodies melting together. As I cupped her breast in my hand, she moaned my full name as only she is allowed to do and I nearly came from the sound alone.
In almost every other instance of our lovemaking, Arizona was always on top. Even if I would make a move to roll us over, she found a way to keep control over me in gentle yet possessive way. It turned me on like nothing else ever had to know that, despite her cheerful and naïve nature at work, she was so confident and in charge in our bedroom.
But now, as I slipped a knee between her thighs and felt her quivering below me, I realized just how much the day's events had affected her. She needed someone else to take control, to heal her and make her feel again. I stopped my movements for a moment and looked at her, forcing her to lock eyes with mine. Though I saw tears welling up in her eyes, I also saw the enormous amount of love she felt for me and my breath caught in my throat. I knew we would need to talk eventually, to process everything that had happened today, but for now it was about us reconnecting physically.
"I love you," I whispered to her.
"I love you," she replied softly.
Our hips instinctively rolled into each other and I nuzzled my face into her neck, breathing her in as we moved together. I slipped a hand between her legs and felt her for what seemed like the first time. She moaned her arousal as I pushed inside her, her own hand finding its way between my legs and mimicking my movements. From the very first touch of her hand I felt like I could fall over the edge, but I so desperately wanted it to be together that I forced my body to slow down and wait for her. As soon as my fingers reached that familiar spot that always drove Arizona crazy, I knew it wouldn't be a long wait. Her breath quickened, her moans became louder, and her back arched off the bed. As I watched her beneath me, I felt myself let go with a gasp and a shudder that even I wasn't expecting. She cursed as she came, a sound I always adored from the otherwise PG-rated peds surgeon, and we rode out the wave as long as possible, finally collapsing against the bed from sheer exhaustion.
As soon as we regained our breath, she rolled onto her side so we were facing each other. She brought a hand to my face and pushed the damp curls away from my eyes. Though we hadn't said much to each other in the past hour, I knew everything that was on her mind.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked her hesitantly.
"Not really," she said with a sigh. "But I know we have to."
"It can wait until you're ready," I told her. "Until we're ready."
She smiled at me and I cupped her cheek with my hand, smiling back. We laid together in silence for awhile, just looking at each other and savoring the feeling of being in each other's arms again. Suddenly, and without warning, she spoke.
"You could have died today," she said in a shaky voice.
"We all could have," I reminded her. "But we're okay, baby."
"No, when Clark came into that room, when we were with Ruby," she continued. "You stood up and walked towards him and gave him bandages. And he had a gun, Callie. He could have shot you."
"Arizona," I attempted to interrupt her.
"Listen to me, damn it!" she yelled.
I swallowed hard and nodded, allowing her to continue.
"You could have died," she repeated. "And I just sat there. I didn't do anything. You were brave and calm, and you saved my life. Me and Ruby. And then, after he left, you saved us both again. You didn't have to, but you just did. Because you're you, and you're amazing, and you're bold and brave and strong and everything I'm not. But you still could have died, Callie, and I don't know what I would have done if anything would have happened to you."
As she trailed off, tears spilling down her cheeks, I fought to keep my own emotions in check.
"Look at me," I said gently, forcing her eyes up to meet mine. "I wasn't calm or brave or anything else, okay? I was scared out of my mind. I was absolutely terrified that he was going to hurt you, Arizona, and I couldn't let that happen. Even though you weren't mine to protect, I still couldn't let anything happen to you."
"But I said such terrible things to you earlier," she choked out between sobs. "How could you still love me after everything I said?"
"We both said terrible things," I reminded her. "But it's in the past, okay? It's over. What happened before is said and done. We're here, and we're alive, and we're gonna be okay. And, of course I still love you, Arizona. I never stopped. I couldn't stop even if I tried."
"I love you, too," she told me firmly, stopping her tears. "I love you so much, Callie."
"I know," I said with a smile.
She kissed me softly, pouring everything into her wordless declaration of love.
"Can we just stay here together forever?" she asked.
"Absolutely," I told her, smiling. "There's nowhere else in the world I want to be."
