Yet another fluffy songfic…. Why do I keep writing these?? (ah… its for the people, guv…) – shut up, you.
***
I am Milk
I am red hot kitchen
And I am cool
Cool as the deep blue ocean
I sit here, day after day, staring out the window… looking for something which I can never have. I will never hold it in my hand, I will never see it when I look at myself in the mirror – I will never cry with happiness because I can't believe I found it once more.
I only cry with pain.
I am lost
So I am cruel
But I'd be love and sweetness
If I had you
I have a photo, concealed in my desk at home. I forgot it when I was packing my bags for school this year. Maybe it's my subconscious wanting me to forget more than just some stupid picture of two laughing boys that I treasure so much. Maybe I want to forget how much I treasure it… how much I treasure him.
Mostly, though, I just miss it.
I'm waiting, I'm waiting
For You.
I'm waiting, I'm waiting
For You.
I often think of how I might try to go about my life normally. When he is gone, what will be different? He will never think of me again… and I will simply think of him forever. How can one simple smile from him give me such pleasure and him such… indifference? Nothing makes sense.
I need closure.
I am weak
But I am strong
I can use my tears to
Bring you home
I am weak. I know that. I want to close the door, bury myself under my bedcovers and forget the world. I want to close the door on him, forget him forever; I want to burn everything I've ever savoured from our time together… Jesus, I even kept some of the pieces from his old broomstick after the willow destroyed it! Pathetic doesn't even begin to describe me…
Am I going insane?
I'm waiting, I'm waiting
For You.
I'm waiting, I'm waiting
For You.
Sometimes, I wish I could die. Death seems so peaceful, such a relief. Life is burdened with such trivialities, such betrayal. But, knowing my luck, I'd probably be reassigned as a ghost. They say there's no rest for the wicked…
Do I have a truly evil heart?
I am milk
I am red hot kitchen
And I am cool
Cool as the deep blue ocean
No, no, no. Nothing more, nothing less. Life is pointless now, at 3am. No dark, no light… simply shades of grey. Grey like boredom of my existence. Maybe one day he'll look up and see my hair shining in the sun… looking about as gorgeous as a deformed carrot. But, for now, life is nothing but grey.
I want some red.
I'm waiting, I'm waiting
For You
I'm waiting, I'm waiting
For You.
Inspiration comes… as does the dawn. A fading sunset brings nothing but pain.
I'm aching, I'm breaking
For You.
***
"Milk" © Garbage
Characters © JK Rowling
Even less © Me
