The Elric Bros. Third Trip to RAW

By: DMEX

Nothing is mine, ya jackasses!

-Backstage-

Ed and Al are talking amongst themselves when none other than Sheamus comes in

Sheamus: 'Ay fellar! Didn't ya read da sign?

Al: What sign?

Ed: I didn't see anything…

Sheamus: Dat one right dere!

IF YOU CAN'T READ THIS SIGN, YOU'RE NOT TALL AND TOUGH ENOUGH FOR WWE

Ed (angry): WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A PIPSQUEAK?

Sheamus: Why don't ya just go back ta Central like a good little boy and maybe I won't decide ta beat ya up.

Ed starts swearing at Sheamus in Irish while Al drags him out of there

-RAW Zone-

Justin Roberts: Ladies and Gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to Monday Night RAW; the stars of the FullMetal Alchemist Movie; Edward and Alphonse Elric, THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!

(FMABH blares in the arena as the crowd goes crazy)

King: They're back for a third time! I can't believe it!

Cole: We are LIVE in Encino, California for the one of the longest running shows Monday Night RAW; as Edward Elric and his brother Alphonse Elric make their way to the ring.

King: I don't understand why Ed just doesn't admit the fact he is smaller than everyone else?

Cole: You better hope he doesn't hear you say that. Remember what he did to LAYCOOL? He beat them with an uncooked ham.

King: Well, LAYCOOL brought that upon themselves.

Ed: HELLO ENCINO!

(crowd cheers)

Ed: We're going to have a great show tonight aren't we Al?

Al: You mean for you to be more trouble than you're worth?

Ed: What the hell? I'm your brother!

Al: Not that kind of worth! I meant your temper-

You're not enough for me (ooooohh yeah!)

(Crowd boos and shout insults to LAYCOOL)

Ed (boiling mad): WHO THE HELL INVITED THEM!

Layla: Ed, I thought you would have learned from last time. But you have the brain size of a squirrel.

Ed's portrait shows on titantron but it shows a very small brain as squirrel chatter is heard

Ed (angry): DAMMIT! I'M NOT SOME SORT OF TREE RODENT!

Michelle: And who can forget about you, Al?

The titantron has a picture of Al in a room full of sheep

Ed (angry): DAMMIT MY BROTHER ISN'T SOME FARM ANIMAL!

Al: That's really sad that you would do something like that.

Layla: Well; at least I'm not some sort of freak giant in armor with a apron on.

Al (sadly): It's not like I asked to be this big…

King: Isn't that something Ed should be asking himself?

Ed (angry, to King): DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!

Ed chases LAYCOOL out with a massive stick of pepperoni

(crowd cheers)

-Sometime later; Kelly Kelly vs. Jillian Hall-

King: -Hits Jillian with the K2!

Cole: Jillian with a Jackknife Rollup! 1! 2! 3!

(crowd boos)

Justin Roberts: The winner of the match, Jillian!

(Jillian asks for a mic)

Jillian: You know what I'm going to do?

Ed: This can't be good…

Al: Let's hear her out.

Cole: I'm inclined to agree with Ed on this one.

Jillian: I'm going to SING!

(Crowd boos intensely)

Just as she's about to start her REPULSIVE SINGING (and I mean REPLUSIVE), Ed throws a mallet at the back of her head. A cartoon-like thud is heard

Ed (angry): DAMMIT JILLAIN! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US ALL?

You think you know me…?

(crowd has a mixed reaction when Edge comes out)

Edge: So let me get this straight? A State Alchemist like Edward Elric throws a mallet at a WWE Diva and a terrible one at that and earlier chases Layla and Michele McCool with a stick of beef. Then the last they were here, he beats them up with A HAM!

(crowd cheers)

Ed: They started it-

Edge: You know something, Edward; I got someone that wants to give you a piece of their mind!

Ed: Do your worst!

*: EDWARD ELRIC!

Ed & Al: WINRY!

(throws a socket wrench at Ed, the crowd roars into laughter)

Ed (angry): DAMMIT WINRY! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!

Winry: That was for hitting Jillian with a mallet!

(Winry is yelling profanity at Ed; the way Sarge yells at Beetle Bailey. Meanwhile-)

Edge is getting that demented look in his eyes

King: Oh boy… Edge is setting up for that Spear.

Cole: Pay attention Ed!

Edge rushes

King: Look out!

Spears Edward

Cole: SPEAR!

King: Onto Edward Elric!

(crowd boos)

Rushes at Winry

Cole & King: Look out Winry!

Randy Orton comes out of the crowd and sucker punches Edge

(crowd cheers wildly)

King: Randy Orton comes just in time!

(gets into the RKO stance)

Cole: The Viper is coiling!

(Randy Orton gets him with the RKO)

Cole: RKO!

As soon Ed gets up-

(gets RKO)

King: RKO!

(Then goes after Al then Winry)

I hear voices in my head they talk to me they understand they talk to me

(crowd cheers insanely)

Cole: Everyone gets an RKO tonight!

King: That just goes to show you that no one not even Edward Elric is safe from "The Viper" Randy Orton!

-3 days later, Winry's House-

Granny: I hope you boys learned from that little experience.

Ed: Yeah, watch out for guys like Randy Orton.

Al: And Edge.

Granny: I hope you boys aren't going to RAW anytime soon.

Winry: No way.

Ed: Besides, I'd rather go to Smackdown, than RAW.

Al: Don't get any funny ideas Ed.

(END!)