Ichinose Kotomi
Ichinose Kotomi…. It was just recently that I learned that she and I were friends back when we were children, and, yet, I still have little to no memories of our short lived friendship. But… After all these years, we've become friends- no, almost further than friends, and we've done so much… And even though I have done so much for her, I still feel like I have done nothing. What more can I do to make her happy? My thoughts silently fade into the darkness that is this night…
Silent Night
Tomoya stared out his bedroom window at the falling rain, his thoughts clouded by just one person: Kotomi. His thoughts had revolved around her lately. He knew already what it meant; He was in love, and he accepted it. But… This love wasn't like most love. He craved her. He wanted to be with her, but, despite this, his love also contained him, causing him to act like his usual self. But tonight… would he be able to stay in control?
Tonight he and her were going to enjoy a night together, sipping tea and talking more about the childhood that was lost to time. But other ideas lingered in his mind, and he was sure her well book-tamed mind was beginning to stray to the same thoughts. But could they really progress a step further in there relationship in only one little night? Could they, through the process of being alone together, both admit each others feelings?
Tomoya set his feet on the floor and stood up, stretching a little. Time to go he walked out of his room and past the sleeping corpse of his father, who had once again fallen asleep at the kitchen table. He couldn't suppress a somewhat evil grin at how pathetic his father was. He had come to the conclusion that once he moved out, he would never speak to him again. He slipped on his shoes, grabbed an umbrella, and then stepped outside.
He stepped out into the rain, leaving the umbrella closed, and looked up at the clouded sky. The cool drops felt good after leaving the overly cozy warmth of his home. He sighed, whether of the feelings of content or anxiety, then began walking, slowly moving his fingers down the rod of the umbrella, clicking in the button, then opening it. It was odd. The night was quiet; no cicadas chirping, no crickets, nothing was disturbing the peace of the night. Not even the rain could penetrate the thick silence. This fact was odder still, since Yukine had mentioned a charm to him once about nights such as this one, where the patter of rain seemed to not exist despite the heaviness of the drops. But the thought of the charm would have to wait.
He stopped in front of Kotomi's house and stared at the door. He easily realized his legs felt like they had lead weights attached to them. Could this much anxiety have formed inside him? Was he really that incapable, so much that he would lose control of himself when faced with a chance to be with her alone? His next step was more than a step; it was a painful stomp, followed by a lighter stomp, then returning to normal steps as he marched up to the door and knocked-lightly at first, then harder as no one replied. "Kotomi!" he called out. Still no reply. Had she fallen asleep? He looked at his watch; 8:47. It wasn't that late, but it was possible nonetheless that she had fallen asleep. He checked the door; unlocked. He slowly turned the knob then opened the door, stepped in, and then closed the door gently behind him. He set his umbrella down then slowly walked into the living room to find Kotomi sipping at some tea.
Kotomi turned her head to look at him then smiled, "Ah, Tomoya-kun. Good evening" she said in her usual monotone voice.
Tomoya smiled, "You didn't hear me knocking on the door or calling your name?"
"I was making tea, so no I did not."
Tomoya once again couldn't contain the smile that breached his lips, but this smile was one of happiness. He walked up to the table the tea was sitting on and picked up the set, "Let's go sit outside Kotomi" he headed for the door, not waiting for her answer, and opened it, stepping outside and setting the tea on the table on her deck.
Kotomi followed, still smiling, and sat down on one of the chairs. Tomoya looked at her smiling face, and at her beautiful eyes. Her eyes were different from others, they were arced, and bigger, yet also more closed, and the way they looked matched his friend perfectly. "Tomoya-kun" he snapped out of his thoughts of her looks, "Is something wrong? You're staring at me" she said, a light blush on her face.
"Ah!" Tomoya's eyes shot to the yard, "No, nothing's wrong" he tried to find another topic, "The lawn seems to be growing well" He reminisced to the days he spent hand picking the old grass and replanting the new grass, which had quickly grown fully.
"Yes, it has, all thanks to you, Tomoya-kun. If you hadn't done this, this house wouldn't be like the house we both enjoyed in our childhood." She said. Though she sounded like her usual self, Tomoya knew that she had instead said that happily.
To him it was an knack, an ability, to tell when she was talking normally or when she was speaking with happiness imbued into her beautiful voice. He could tell without even a second thought, while their friends could not even begin to tell the difference. Was this a trait that had come from their close relationship?
"The rain is so quiet…" Kotomi commented.
"As is the rest of the night" he agreed with her. It was beautiful, not just the night, but the feeling that both of them felt, the magic that emanated from both of them in the peace of the night, the peace of both of them being together, enjoying this beautiful moment, spending this time with the one they both care about most this feeling warmed them both to the point of sweating despite the chill of the rain. Their chairs were side by side, and this charge of magic pushed Tomoya, gently, but enough to place his hand on hers.
Kotomi didn't blush, but instead just looked at Tomoya, smiling. Her hand was quite cold compared to his, and the warmth of his hand was obviously welcomed. "You know…" Tomoya began, his gaze once again returning the quiet rain as his confidence rose "Miyazawa-san told Sunohara and I once about silent nights such as this. It's said that on nights where even the rain is silent, and no other sounds but the single heartbeat of two lovers can be heard, if vows are exchanged, then the couple will be happily be together forever."
"What a wonderful saying" Kotomi said frivolously, apparently not noticing how he was relating this topic to their current situation. Tomoya sighed at her response. All of a sudden every ounce of confidence he had brewed sank back down into the depths of his being, but then once again burst forth as she closed her hand around his, then brought his hand to her breast and put hers above his heart. Apparently she had understood why he brought the charm up, "Our hearts beat as one, just as that charm states" she said, emotion suddenly taking hold of her tone, causing a voice Tomoya had never heard before to resound.
Tomoya took the hand on his chest in his other free hand and threaded his fingers between hers, "Kotomi… Lately the only person I can think about is you… and now I, in this silent night, deep down in my heart, without a doubt know…" Both of their faces were a heated red, the blush strong, yet strangely calm, "I love you." He leaned in close and kissed her gently on the lips, but was quickly drawn into a more passionate kiss that was quickly broken with her words of passion.
"Tomoya-kun, you have done so much for me, you broke me from my depression, got me back out of my house, and aided in revealing that my parents cared for me more than anything… And now I can say that I care more for you than anyone in the world, because you brought happiness into my life and helped me find friends" To Tomoya it seemed like by extending her vows she was avoiding saying the words "I Love You," and it was confirmed when she began hesitating, "Tomoya-kun………… I love you too!" she cried out; so much emotion was pressed into those words that he thought he was talking to Kyou when she was angry with Sunohara. So much emotion coming from the quiet girl he fell in love with, it was stunning, it left him aghast. Had he broken the barriers that sealed her feelings, her real voice, that had been sealed by the loss of her parents?
Only one answer, one word bellowed in his mind, breaking the silence of this wonderful night, and this one answer aided him in believing that charm was real; Yes, and I love her for it.
Author's Ending Note: This fanfiction was different for me. I have been trying to make a decent Clannad fanfiction mixing info from the movie, the anime, and the game together, but I have had no luck. I can make them, but they are terrible, and have little to no plot or emotion in them. But I finally came up with this idea for a KotomixTomoya fanfiction, and this is what came out of it. The beauty of this is that I have no real thing against Tomoya being with anyone else in the series, but for some reason I was drawn to the idea of Kotomi and Tomoya being together for this one fanfiction, and I hardly put any real thought into it and just wrote what came to mind. Sorry if I'm ranting a bit, but please, PLEASE review this and tell me what you think about it, because I may or may not make more Clannad fanfictions depending on what you all think of it.
