Disclaimer: The Ace Attorney franchise is property of Capcom. I, the writer of this fanfic, do not own the characters or am associated with the company in any way, shape, or form in the production of this non-canonical, non-profit fanfic. "Wizard of Oz" is owned by Disney and Warner Bros., companies that I also have no affiliation with.
A/N: Well, here's my first actual Phoenix Wright fanfic in a long while that isn't 'Pick Your Poison', y'know. This is my first parody fanfic on this site, so if it comes off as slightly different from my other works, then that's why.
It's been a week since Engarde's trial and Phoenix, Maya, and Pearl are still recovering from Maya's kidnapping incident. Thankfully, Pearl has had an easier time recovering with the help of her new cat, Shoe, which Phoenix won at a police impound auction for $300, much to Pearl's delight and to his dismay. On this day, Maya is making Phoenix watch, against his free will, a 24 hour, no commercials marathon of 'Nickel Samurai' before it's permanently pulled off the air while Pearl plays with Shoe in the corner of the room.
Phoenix, who is being forced to watch the episode 'Sayo-nara Strawberry Stronghold' for the 14th time that day, is starting to fidget and grunt out of irritation. "Maya, can I please stop watching Nickle Samurai? It's starting to get on my nerves, not to mention I have to really go to the bathroom."
Phoenix looks over to his left on the couch and sees Maya watching the show with wide-open, unblinking eyes. Seeing that Maya is completely engrossed in the episode, Phoenix tries to slowly get off the couch and make his escape, but before he can, Maya grabs his sleeve and keeps him seated on the couch.
Maya partially turns her head so one eye is focused on Phoenix while the other is focused on the show. "No Nick, this is a monumental occasion in the Samurai series' history! Plus, you can never get enough Nickel Samurai. It's like the t.v. show version of burgers."
"Then I must be the exception after having watched this childish show for ten consecutive hours. Now can I please get up and use the restroom?" Phoenix states in an irritated, deadpan voice as he tries again to get up from the couch, only to be forcibly seated yet again by Maya.
"That's just the geezer inside you talking. I'm telling you, Nick, 14 more hours of the Nickle Samurai and you'll be a new man; one that will buy me more burgers, nag me less, and won't have a toilet cleaning fetish!" Maya cheerfully affirms with a grin and a nod.
Just as Phoenix fears that he'll never escape, he hears a knock at the door. "I'll get it!" Phoenix states as he quickly gets to his feet and scurries to the door.
In Phoenix's mind, it's probably the Angel of Death here to claim his soul, but as long as it gets him out of watching Nickle Samurai, then it doesn't matter in the slightest. Though his thoughts of blissful relief are replaced with dread when he opens the door and sees Franziska, grinding her teeth in anger, squeezing the life from the handle of a basket with what looks to be the remains of a plant in it.
Phoenix looks up to the ceiling "When I guessed the Angel of Death, I didn't think that I would be correct!" Phoenix whines.
Franziska whips Phoenix. "I am not in the mood for your foolish tomfoolery, Phoenix Wright! Do you know what this is?" Franziska snaps as she holds up the destroyed plant.
"Something that was at one time a plant… I think?" Phoenix replies, confused as to why Franziska would ask him this.
"Correct. Care to guess as to how my fern ended up in its current state?" Franziska asks through clenched teeth, squeezing the poor handle even harder.
"Coming from personal experience, I'd wager that it beat you in court and was whipped to tears as a result. Phoenix replies with a big smile on his face, knowing that even though he's going to get the whipping of a lifetime, it was worth it.
Franziska whips Phoenix several times. "Hardy har har, very funny, Phoenix Wright. I'll have you know that my cherished $1,000 fern was destroyed by…" Pearl walks by the door while carrying Shoe. "THAT CAT!" Franziska yells at the top of her lungs as she points an accusing finger at Shoe.
Franziska then proceeds to violently push Phoenix out of her way, causing his face to slam against a wall, as she storms into the office and marches up to Pearl. "Put the cat in this basket, little girl." Franziska commands as she extends the basket towards Pearl.
Pearl pulls Shoe even closer to her. "No, you can't take Shoe away, Ms. Scary Prosecutor Lady! It wasn't Shoe's fault that I wasn't paying attention when we walked by your house. I promise that it'll never ever happen again. If you want to punish someone, then punish me!" Pearl states with tears welling in her eyes.
"That's touching and all, but we have laws protecting perfect, upstanding citizens like me from foolish animals that destroy shrubbery. Now put the cat in the basket and I won't have to incarcerate anyone."
Maya, hearing Franziska bully her little cousin, stops watching Nickle Samurai and, with puffed cheeks and clenched fists, assertively walks up to Franziska.
Maya puts her hands to her hips and stiffens her posture in an attempt to strike fear into the young prosecutor. "Pearly said she was sorry and that it'll never happen again, so what more do you want!?"
Franziska, unfazed by Maya's display of authority, whips the perky medium. "I want to personally have that foolish cat destroyed so it can't vandalize my lawn ever again." Franziska punctuates with a stomp of her foot.
Maya brings Pearl and Shoe to her side. "You know, Ms. von Karma, you may be some high-profile prosecutor, but that doesn't give you the give you the right to bully MY little cousin or her cat!"
"Or the owner of this office whose nose may or may not be broken." Phoenix chimes in while gripping his nose.
"Regardless of what you think, Maya Fey, the law is on my side. In fact, I have a note from the Chief of Police himself giving me permission to eliminate that foolish cat." Franziska says with a triumphant smirk as she pulls out a note and hands it to Maya.
Maya reads the note to herself. "Yep, it looks like Ms. von Karma is telling the truth and we'll face jail time if we don't give Shoe to her…" A mischievous look forms on Maya's face as she crumples up the note into a ball and throws it off to the side. "But we don't care because we live life on the edge! Attica! Attica!" Maya cheerfully yells while pumping her fists.
Phoenix then proceeds to pick up the crumped note and reads it. Phoenix then gives a reluctant sigh, walks over to Pearl, and tries to take Shoe from her, but she takes a step back and glares at attorney.
"No, I won't let that scary prosecutor lady take him! I'll slap her if she tries!" Pearl tries to charge at Franziska, but Phoenix restrains her by holding her arm.
"I'm sorry, Pearl, but it's the law…" Phoenix takes Shoe out of Pearl's hands and puts him in the basket.
"At least someone here isn't a complete fool." Franziska remarks with a smirk.
"What the heck, Nick!? Why'd you hand over Shoe to that which!?" Maya pouts.
"I can't go to jail, Maya. I've sent nine people there and I personally don't want to live with the fear of dropping the soap in front of Redd White." Phoenix says, cringing at the thought.
Upon realizing that Phoenix betrayed her, Pearl runs out of the office crying; to which Maya responds by flashing Franziska a scowl. Franziska von Karma, for these past few months I've been dying to tell you what I thought of you, but since we're in T-rated content, I can't say it!" In response, Franziska simply whips Maya once and Phoenix five times before leaving the office without saying a single word.
When Franziska exits the building with the basket, she gets on a pink, flowery bike that is clearly too small for her and hangs the basket on the right handlebar.
"Curse my foolish car for breaking down! Curse Miles Edgeworth and Scruffy for being unable to pick me up! Curse my foolish sister for only being able to lend me my niece's foolishly foolish bike!" Franziska pouts as she pedals away from the building.
Meanwhile, Pearl, saddened by the loss of her cat, is sitting on a nearby curb as she quietly sobs to herself. Fortunately, her crying is interrupted when she hears a meow. When Pearl looks up, she sees Shoe, who managed to escape from the basket when Franziska wasn't looking, walking down the street towards her.
"Shoe!" Pearl chirps as she rushes over to the cat and scoops it up in her arms with tears streaming down her face. "I thought that I'd never see you ever again! But if you're here, then Ms. Scary Prosecutor Lady will come back to take you away and Mr. Nick and Mystic Maya will let it happen. That's why we'll run away; far, far away to a place where no one can hurt you."
Pearl, with Shoe in tow, walks away from the building. For the next 30 minutes, Pearl keeps walking, never stopping for anything. Her journey leads her past a wide variety of places: including a strange restraint with a strange man in pink, a park where an old man is yelling at pigeons and a building where from the window, a big, orange man is acting skittish around a creepy woman. Eventually, Pearl reaches a towering barbed wire fence that has a hole at the bottom small enough for her to squeeze through.
Even though Pearl has no idea what could be behind this imposing fence, it's better than Phoenix and Maya giving shoe up to that scary prosecutor lady, so Pearl crawls through the hole and unwittingly enters a prison's recreational area; which is evident by many men in prison garbs doing leisure activities, such as jogging, talking, and throwing rocks at Frank Sahwit.
As Pearl explores her surroundings, she accidently bumps into a man with wavy, black hair with a blond stripe running down the middle who is flashing her glare that could kill.
Pearl puts a hand over her mouth to show her regret. "Pardon me, mister. I wasn't watching where I was going. Please forgive my rudeness."
The man just stands there speechless, seething in anger as he lets out a low, guttural growl. Pearl, being the naïve girl that she is, takes his lack of speech as a sign of forgiveness and decides to go on her way; but before she can leave, Wellington grabs her shoulder with a firm grasp.
"And where do you think you're going, runt? We still have unfinished business." The man says through clenched teeth.
Pearl meanwhile is shaking like a leaf as she realizes that she can't escape from this creepy man. "I-I said I was sorry, mister."
"Do you know who I am, you third-rate peasant? I am Richard Wellington; the most refined first-class genius this side of the Mississippi whose attire was wrinkled and composure rattled by your boorish lack of vigilance and no amount of 'sorries' will change that fact." Wellington sneers as he shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head. "No matter, I've heard that blood is a good way to remove wrinkles…" Wellington remarks as he pulls out a shank, which consists of a razor blade glued onto a toothbrush, and causes Pearl to whimper.
Before Wellington can harm Pearl, he is hit on the back of the head by a pipe and falls to the ground unconscious. When Pearl turns around to see her savior, she sees a tall, muscular man with white hair holding a steel pipe and giving her a disturbingly distant stare, which causes Pearl to scream in terror.
Upon hearing the little girl's screams of terror, the man quickly changes his look to that of a warm smile. "Sorry, force of habit. Well, I'm Damon Gant, what's your name?"
Pearl stares down at the ground, refusing to make eye contact with this imposing giant of a man before her. "M-My name is P-Pearl Fey, Mr. Gant."
Gant puts his pipe down and clasps his hands together as a sign of goodwill. "Mr. Gant was my father's name, call me Damon, Pearlsy." Gant says in the warm voice that made everyone at the Precinct feel safe when he was the Police Chief.
Pearl, feeling a tiny bit more comfortable around Gant, looks up to see his face. "Ok, Mr. Damon."
For Gant, he can't help but wonder what this little girl is doing here. She can't possibly be one of the guards' kids on account that he knows all of their information and has even gone swimming with most of them. So Gant decides to use his interrogation skills to learn more about this strangely dressed girl.
"As you've seen with Welly, this isn't a safe place for little girls; so what brings you here, Pearlsy?" Gant says with a slightly more serious tone as he plays with the tip of his hair.
"I'm running away. Mr. Nick and Mystic Maya want to give my cat to the scary prosecutor lady so that she can destroy him with her whip."
Gant lets out a small chuckle to himself, knowing that this 'scary prosecutor lady' is probably little Franny and remembers how she would threaten to whip him with her riding crop whenever Manny would bring her over to the Precinct. But those memories aren't important now, since this little girl needs his help to make sure that she stays safe. And while he hates lying to children, it's for her own safety.
"Pearlsy, did you know that I have psychic powers?" Gant says as he straightens his shirt's collar.
"So what can you tell me, Mr. Damon?"
"Well, I can tell you about your life, even though I just met you. Just grab my hand and we can start." Gant extends his hand to Pearl, which she reluctantly grabs.
"It's foggy, but I'm starting to see something… It's getting clearer and- oh my, this isn't good." Gant says in a tone of apprehension.
"What? What is it Mr. Damon?"
"I see a woman who looks very, very sad." Gant frowns and furrows his brow.
"Why is she sad?" Pearl asks out of curiosity.
"She's sad because someone who she loves very dearly has gone missing. It seems like she's calling out to someone. I can't completely understand her, but I think she's saying 'Pearl'."
Pearl gasps. "That's my name! Maybe it's Mystic Maya."
"I can't say for certain who it is, Pearlsy, but it's someone who she's been very kind to, someone who she's taken care of in times of both sickness and health."
"Well, there was that one time when I had a cold and Mystic Maya made Mr. Nick buy me burgers to make me feel better." Pearl bites her thumb, feelin guilty about leaving the two people in this world who love her unconditionally.
Gant gasps. "What's this!? She's sitting in a chair and is putting her hand on her heart.
"Oh no! Mystic Maya is having a heart attack from all of the burgers that she eats, just like Mr. Nick warned her! I have to get back to her! Thanks for telling me this, Mr. Damon!" Pearl yells as she runs over to the fence and crawls through the hole.
At that moment, the wind starts to pick up as the prisoners are called back in on account of there being a tornado warning.
"I hope that little girl will be alright…" Gant says with concern as he fiddles with his hair.
By the time Pearl returns to the Law Firm, the winds have really picked and it takes all of her strength just to open the door and enter the building. When Pearl enters Phoenix's office, she notices that the television is off and no one is in the office. As she runs around the room, yelling Maya and Nick's names at the top of her lungs, the tornado that's approaching the building causes a trashcan to break through the window and hit Pearl in the head, knocking her to the ground and rendering her unconscious. As Pearl lies limp on the ground, the tornado rips the office away from the rest of the building and sends it soaring high into the sky.
When Pearl wakes up, she is relieved to see that Shoe is unharmed, but is unsettled by the fact that the office is being lifted into the air by the massive twister. This feeling is only cemented when she sees some weird things flying past the office: an obese man clinging ono a painting of a fisherman, a guy in an orange coat standing between two women as they repeatedly slap him, though he seems to be enjoying it, and a scruffy old man in a brown sock cap simultaneously rowing a boat and preparing noodles while a red parrot on his shoulder squawks the lyrics to the song 'Banana Phone'. But what turns Pearl's uneasiness into pure terror is when she sees Franziska, who is riding on her niece's pink bicycle, turn into a witch flying on a broomstick.
As Franziska lets out a high-pitched cackle and flies away, Pearl feels the office quickly falling to the ground. As the office begins to fall faster and faster by the second, Pearl clings to Shoe for dear life as she screams, thinking that this would be her end. Fortunately, when the house hits the ground, Pearl finds that she and Shoe are unscathed.
Out of curiosity to see if the storm has stopped, Pearl opens the office door to see how things are outside. However, instead of seeing the bustling city that she's started to get used to, she sees a colorful village with several small homes and a large variety of trees and flowers.
"Shoe, I don't think that we're in Cally-fornia anymore…" Pearl nervously notes as she surveys her surroundings.
