…
Kagome watched the sun set. It was twilight.
They had stopped their travelling for the night. She had started a fire and was now preparing dinner for the group.
Sango was sharpening her sword. She didn't use it often, but she wanted to be always ready.
Miroku was sitting quietly and glancing at Sango's behind. One or two times he tried to get his hands on it, but he got slapped very hard by the fierce demon slayer.
Shippo was rolling around in the grass with Kirara and playing with dandelions.
Inuyasha… well, Inuyasha was on a tree, as usual, but Kagome knew he wouldn't stay there for long. First because he wanted food, and second because he would go visit Kikyo.
That thought had stopped bothering her some time before.
She had finally acknowledged the fact that Inuyasha would always think of Kikyo first. Kikyo was his world. Even if she had died fifty years before, even if she was now just a puppet who stayed alive because of hatred, Kikyo was still Inuyasha's love.
It wasn't as if this prevented Inuyasha from caring about Kagome. On the contrary, he obviously liked her. And he probably harboured deep affection for her as well. But she was like a second prize. Good, but not good enough.
And she wouldn't settle for that.
She wouldn't accept to be continually compared to someone else. She wouldn't accept to be treated as the reincarnation of someone else. She wouldn't accept to be with a man – no, she corrected herself, a hanyou – who looked at her only to find resemblances with Kikyo. And who actually noticed her only when she did something different from what Kikyo would do.
Kagome was not stupid. She knew she had developed some feelings for Inuyasha. But she also knew that, in a relationship, he wouldn't give her what she asked for. He wouldn't – couldn't.
And so, even if it hurt, she had accepted that fact and tried her best to move on.
It had been difficult. Really difficult. She saw the hanyou on a daily basis, so it had been hard to overcome her feelings. But she had managed. And she had also received help from an unexpected source.
Some weeks before, Sesshoumaru had come looking for their group. The girl he cared for, Rin, had been sick. He had, very formally, asked Kagome if she could help. Inuyasha had been with Kikyo in that moment, so he hadn't been able to attack his brother or categorically refuse with his usual stubbornness. Kagome had been there immediately for young Rin. She had stayed awake the whole night and taken care of the girl's fever. All the while Sesshoumaru had sat near them and observed her every action.
The next day had passed similarly, but Rin had begun to improve. And, in her slumber, she had wanted "pretty kaa-chan" to stay with her.
Inuyasha had come back then, and thrown a tantrum. He wanted his brother to leave immediately and had even made a move to attack him, but Kagome had quickly exclaimed "Sit!" and stopped him. She then stated, sternly, that Rin was to be with them until she had recovered completely.
Inuyasha had complained and argued for a while, and only after Kagome had sat him again had he finally shut up. Later that afternoon, he had sneaked away again to go to Kikyo.
That night, after Rin and Shippo had fallen asleep, Kagome had allowed her thoughts to go back to Inuyasha. And she had had to choke down a sob. Kikyo was Inuyasha's love.
Not her.
Never her.
Kagome had left the camp where she was with her friends to wander through the forest for a while. They had been near a cliff, and she had sat down next to it.
The moon had been beautiful that night. It hadn't been full moon, but it was bright nonetheless. And Kagome had enjoyed it. She had sat there, quietly observing and taking in her surroundings, and trying to find a way to get rid of her feelings for Inuyasha.
Suddenly, she had felt a hand touch her shoulder gently. She had spun around with a jolt. And she had had the privilege of seeing Sesshoumaru under the moonlight.
He had been absolutely… incredibly… argh, she hadn't even been able to find the right words to phrase it. Suffice to say that she had seen him in a completely new light – and not just literally. He was probably the most handsome person she had ever seen.
And he hadn't been the Ice Prince she had expected him to be. He had touched her cheek lightly and asked, "Why are you crying, Miko?"
Kagome hadn't even realized she was crying. She had hastily wiped the tears away and said, "It's nothing, I…" and then she had stopped.
He had been looking at her with an expression that told her she shouldn't try to avoid the subject. And she didn't know why, but in that instant she had decided to trust him. Yes, he had tried to kill her – a long time – before, and he would maybe use any information she would give against her… but she had felt she could trust him. And if he really was untrustworthy, then she would only damage herself, and not her friends.
So she had said simply, "I'm sad."
Sesshoumaru had arched a perfect eyebrow. "Why are you sad, Miko?"
Kagome had eyed him a bit warily. "Don't worry, it's not about Rin. She's doing fine. I'm sad about… Inuyasha." Saying it out loud had been a strange form of relief. She had immediately felt like a burden had been lifted from her shoulders.
Sesshoumaru had pressed on, "And why, Miko?"
Kagome had smiled a little. "My name's Kagome, you know. And I'm sad because… well… because I'm trying to be free of his power over me, but it's difficult. What I mean is… I should come to terms with the fact that Kikyo is always going to be Inuasha's first priority. And with the fact that, every time he looks at me, he's just trying to see Kikyo. And I think I will come to terms with it. So maybe I'm sad because it's taking me a lot of time to do so…"
Sesshoumaru had been silent for a while. Then, to her great surprise, he had sat down near her. "Miko," he had said, as if in an afterthought, "I will not call you by your name until you realize it is your name, until you realize you are not the other miko's shadow, and that you are your own person. I am not," he continued, silencing her attempts to speak, "belittling you. You are a strong person. You have faced much bigger threats. Overpower feelings that are obviously directed towards an undeserving object is something you must, and will, manage to do. You have a pure, untainted, loving heart. Save it for someone who deserves it."
Kagome had felt those words spontaneously flow towards her and give her strength. And then she had gaped, speechless.
Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha's brother, had actually helped her in her battle against her feelings?
So she had asked, "Why are you telling me this? Why are you helping me?"
Sesshoumaru's answer had been blunt. "So you will not be sad anymore."
And he had disappeared.
That had happened some weeks before. Now they were back to their usual routine, Kagome thought, while she served dinner to everyone.
Rin had recovered completely and had been adamant about spending a few more days with "kaa-chan", as she had begun to call Kagome. The young miko had felt honoured by the appellative, because she had always been fond of the child, and Sesshoumaru had graciously accepted her offer of staying for a while longer.
Inuyasha's colourful protests had been happily ignored.
Then the youkai and the young girl had left. Rin had made Kagome promise to come visit her sometimes, and she had then nicely said goodbye to everyone else. Sesshoumaru hadn't mentioned anything about their meeting a few nights before until the last instant, when he had said, "Remember, Miko. You must, and you will."
The others had stared at him, but they had openly gaped when Kagome had smiled brightly and replied, "I'm not sad anymore."
Kagome had to repress a laugh when she remembered that scene. The others' faces had been incredibly funny. Sesshoumaru and Rin had left immediately after that.
So far, they hadn't met again. But that didn't mean that Kagome hadn't thought about him. In fact, she had even dreamed about him. Inuyasha had stopped being a sore subject. Her feelings for him had transformed into friendship. Now her feelings were free and much more powerful, and all thanks to someone who wasn't Inuyasha, but someone who happened to be a close relative of his.
Kagome snapped back to the present. The others had already finished eating and were settling for the night. Inuyasha had left to go to Kikyo.
Kagome wasn't bothered in the least. Not anymore, she thought triumphantly. I am not Kikyo, I am Kagome. And if Inuyasha doesn't see it, it's his problem, not mine.
She prepared her own sleeping bag and got ready to sleep.
But somehow it wasn't working. Something didn't feel right.
Her mind kept sending her very light signals.
Kagome got up quietly. Something was wrong. She could sense it. There was someone else in the forest. But who was it?
She decided not to wake up her friends. She got a bit nearer to the forest, closed her eyes and concentrated on her miko powers.
An instant later, her eyes snapped open again and a soft smile found its way on her lips. She walked into the forest with newfound security.
In a clearing where the moonlight could arrive, Sesshoumaru was waiting for her. His eyes were glued to her face and didn't leave it for an instant.
She smiled at him and got nearer. When she was in front of him, she stopped.
"Hi, Sesshoumaru."
"Hello," he paused deliberately, "Kagome."
…
…
…
A/N: I hope you liked this :-)
If it wasn't clear, Sesshoumaru uses Kagome's name only when he feels she is able to get rid of Kikyo's shadow, which was haunting her.
There is no continuation planned for this one-shot.
Thank you for reading!
KitsuneMiyuKendraHyuga
…
Japanese terms:
hanyou: half-demon
kaa-chan: affectionate way to refer to one's own mother
miko: priestess (specifically, woman who has the status to live in a temple)
youkai: demon (full-demon)
