»escaping

So, hi. xD

This is my first English FF; I'm not a native speaker so it's kinda meh, if you find any mistakes, I'm really sorry.

I can't wait for the movie anymore, so I wrote this. Hope you enjoy it! Reviews'd make me really happy~

»Would you do me the honor of wearing these glasses? «

He smiled.
She laughed.
And for a moment everything seemed to be perfect.

oOo

His hands opened the door to the literature club room and he entered. Without paying any attention to Mitsuki, who sat on one of the chairs, he sat down on another one and opened a random book. He stared at it without really reading it. His whole conscience was focused on one single memory – one he had tried to forget. So many times he had tried to forget and was still unable to do so.

A… memory…

»So… who are you again?«

Those words. It only needed those words and his whole little world collapsed around him.

He first thought it was a joke, laughed slightly and murmured softly »Kuriyama-san «. But the confused eyes of the girl let him hesitate and stopped him from getting too excited.

»Who… are you? «He could only stare.

Then he realized it.

»Ah! A-are you okay?! «

He fell to his knees and felt tears coming back from which he had thought he had no left.

»Akihito. « He kept his gaze on the pages of the book.

»You're crying.«

Blinking he put a hand over his eyes.

»Sorry. I'm just… « He stopped when he saw the concerned expression on Mitsuki's face. He gulped.

»I'll… leave. I'm sorry, but I'm not feeling well today.« The black haired girl nodded slowly. He turned around. Just when his hands were about to touch the door, he heard her repeat his name. He looked at her and smiled slightly.

»Yeah?«

»Are you really okay with this?«

The smile he worked so hard on to keep dropped from his face.

He turned and walked out of the room as fast as he could, trying to escape. He didn't even know what exactly it was; maybe Mitsuki's gaze he could still feel or the sight of a club room without any bonsais. He just didn't know.

oOo

Hiroomi spent more time with him than he did before. And not only because he had finally graduated and started officially working as a Spirit World Warrior.

They wandered around the snowy streets, stopping here and there to buy some snacks. They barely talked – words weren't necessary anymore.

At least that was what Akihito had thought.

»Akkey. «

He didn't dare to look the older boy in the face after he learned that he couldn't even trust his own smile anymore, so he just said »yes « and cursed his voice for shaking so much.

Hiroomi's hands touched his waist and it didn't bother him as much as it used to. He barely noticed it. Everything seemed to be so far away these days… just like her.

»Stop lying.«

And he felt how the little stone that used to be his heart turned even colder while he freed himself from Hiroomi's grasp and kept walking on. There was no other choice. There never was.

oOo

»Good morning, Kanbara-senpai. « He smiled at Sakura.

The girl kept texting him information about her without listening to his protests. She seemed to know that he wouldn't survive without knowing that she's safe.

»Morning Sakura. You alright?« She nodded and stared as if waiting for him to ask a question about her. But he didn't. He couldn't. »Can we talk later? I'm in a hurry and don't have that much time right now, so… « He tried to rush past her.

»… if you keep this up, you'll break «, the brown haired girl muttered. »And she with you. «

He pretended not to hear it. He always did.

»It's still left inside her.«

The iron grip around his bloody heart tightened.

If only it was her blood, he thought. Because even though she always used to talk about how it was cursed, he couldn't imagine a nicer thing than her pure, bloody blade stabbing his tainted heart now.

oOo

After Hiroomi graduated, he left the place on the roof of the school. That's where Akihito spent most of his time now. It consoled him in some strange, wicked way. Maybe he was a masochist after all, since this was the place where he first met her, the place where he got her back… and the place where he lost her for good.

He felt empty, empty of joy, of happiness, of love. It was just exhausting. He should've known from the very beginning that he couldn't become truly happy and yet he tried to. He kept trying, he worked so hard. And then the one thing that made him happier than everything else in this corrupted world was ripped away from him. It was truly ironic.

And so he kept staring at the sky, wondering if his real Kuriyama-san was somewhere up there. Because one thing was for sure – she wasn't here.

oOo

He just tried to forget everything, sitting in an empty classroom with Mitsuki who wasn't really trying to cheer him up and yet did it somehow. She smiled more than she did back then, maybe because he didn't smile at all anymore. Deep down she was a good friend after all.

Then she had to show up.

It was mean to say that she always ruined his mood, but she did.

She just burst into the room and a large smile appeared on her face when she saw him. Usually this would've made him happy, but now the only thing he felt was the urge to cry.

»Ah, Senpai ! I'm- « He stood and looked at her with his best poker face. Apparently it worked because her smile faltered and she bit her lip. »I was…«

»Sorry, but I don't have time right now «, he said coldly. Her hurt expression hurt him more than she could ever imagine.

But it was better this way.

»… why are you doing your best to ignore me?«, she whispered. He flinched slightly, then rushed past her without answering. He could feel her questioning gaze lying on him and it hurt, it hurt so much.

oOo

»Akkey.« He blinked and looked at Hiroomi and his serious expression.

»Yeah?«

»You can't keep going on like that.«

»I can do whatever I want «, he growled. Hiroomi ignored him.

»You really should tell her the truth, Akkey. Or at least talk to her. You two can start a new relationship.« He took a deep breath.

»No. It's too risky. If she's near me we could cross a youmu… or other bad stuff would happen. We just can't be together. It's better this way.« Hiromi frowned.

»Are you sure?«

»… Yeah. She… can forget her mission and live on as a normal human. That's a good thing.«

»But is that a happy thing?« He swallowed the knot in his throat and ordered the stone in his chest to stop beating quite so madly.

»It is. I just… I don't want to hurt her.« He turned and began walking away. He ignored Hiroomi's next words. »You already are.«

He escaped. He always did.

oOo

»I'm… not a normal human, am I?« It was too much. This place, her expression, her forced, shaking smile, the tears in her eyes, the bloody sword in her hands…

He suppressed a sob and felt the long used-up tears return.

»Please tell me!« Her desperate cry was so full or fear, it killed him from the inside. Fear, not against him, but against herself. He couldn't take it anymore. He turned away.

Her small hands gripped the backside of his coat and stopped him from walking on. He heard her quiet whimpered »please… « and his fists clenched.

»I can't.« And he ran away, escaping.

Like he always did.

oOo

He stared at the ceiling of his room, his body shaking with sobs. He just couldn't hold them back anymore. He remembered how he used to cry over how horrible his life was even before he met her, how he just wanted to curl up and die. How stupid he has been.

He never knew what true despair felt like. Now he did and he wished he could revert time, go back only once… back to where she was smiling at him… where he was still ignorant…

He was so stupid, always pitying himself. This was what life was like in this stupid stupid world that never wanted him, always wished that he wouldn't exist.

And he just accepted it.

oOo

He gulped and slowly opened his eyes as his cell phone rang.

»Senpai, please tell me. Why do you avoid me? «

The tears were flowing down his cheeks. He ignored the message and kept staring at the display.

»Senpai… answer me, please.« His shoulders shook. Her next message made him suck his breath and he bit his lip so hard it started to bleed.

»You're so unpleasant… «

He threw the phone away and hid his face in the pillow. Escaping.

And he finally knew from what.

oOo

Urgh, this was kinda sad, I felt pretty depressed while writing it.

Also, I noticed that there's a FF named 'escape' here that uses the same subject. I'M SO SORRY! It didn't notice, it really wasn't on purpose D: If you want me to change the title, just say it, I'm really sorry.

Absatz