Disclaimer: Not mine. Well, you don't have to be so snobby about it. Not yours either. Unless, of course, you're Joss.
A/N: Willow. Faith.Car.What do Red and Faithie talk abouton the way to SunnyD? I got the title from Alice and Wonderland. Will give first born son for reviews.
The Story of the Curious Oysters
"And may not, perhaps, those men who had never found water for their thirst, not food for their hunger, and for whom heaven and the last word press against their heart, half a step off, may they not be permitted a curse or two?"
-- (I'm not sure who said it. Anybody know?)
"Why'd you do it?"
'Crap!' Faith winced and scrunched down in the passenger side chair. 'Damn. I guess it was too much to hope that Red forget I was here.'
After Faith and Willow's good-byes to the Fang Gang, neither had spoken a word to the other. And at least one of them, namely the raven-haired slayer, had been hoping to keep it that way. Of course, Faith knew exactly what the witch was talking about, there was only one thing or a series of things that the red head could be referring to.
Faith sat scrunched down in her chair, head tilted slightly to look out the window. She took a deep nervous breath, trying to calm herself. 'Crap. Look at big bad Faith now. 'Fraid of little old Red. Damn, I bet my hands are shaking.'
"Well…uh…it's a long story…you probably don't want to know." That was the best Faith could come up with on such short notice. 'Ah, short notice. Like I haven't been thinking about the why since they put me away. God, like I know anyway.'
Willow was silent for a moment. She looked like she was contemplating something important. Like to be or not to be or maybe how those guys put the pimentos in the olives. She might even be tackling how many licks it takes to reach the center of the tootsie pop.
Then Willow did finally speak, her voice was surprisingly calm considering, and slight curious.
"Hmm, well we've got almost a hundred miles to go. We can't just sit here like lumps on a log, mister." Willow used resolve face. 'Let's see Ms. I so-bad-in-leather-pants wiggle out of that.'
"What you're radio broke or something." Faith snarks back.
"Look Faith…" Willow spares a glance at her stubborn passenger. 'Note to self, resolve face not effective on leather pants. She looks…I wonder if she knows about me getting all veiny and gross. She looks so young. She just spent the better part of three years in prison, how does she look so young?'
"…This isn't about pointing fingers, cause, hey, driving here not safe, I…well while you were away…"
"Away? Just say in prison. Don't pussyfoot around it. Prison. Twenty-five to life. Murder. It is what it is. Don't try to make it sound like something its not."
Faith sounded a little pissed but that was normal. She had also turned in her chair to look at the red head, a little interested in what was going on.
Willow, always been nervous around Faith, was flustered.
"Right, something its not. Well, what I wanted to say was…I have a confession to make…" Willow inwardly winced. 'Great. A confession. I am one of the world's most powerful people. I could snap my fingers and…no, no, bad Willow. There will be no snapping of the fingers. Just get on with it.'
Faith crossed her arms over her chest. Now totally ignoring the scenery streaking past, her first glimpse of the world since she was locked up, besides the hunting Angelus bits.
"What? Am I a priest?"
"My…" Tears formed on the corners of Willow's eyes, she blinked them back, and swallowed, "…My girlfriend, that doesn't seem like the right word. Tara was everything to me. She was murdered. I'd stopped using magics a month or so earlier, I was addicted to them. After she…I flayed the guy who did it. Then I stole dark magics and went after his accomplices. I ended up killing a magic dealer, Rack, and almost destroyed the world. I went through Giles and Buffy to do it. Xander stopped me, but I hurt him before he did."
Silence reigned in the car. Willow stared at the dark road ahead. Faith, all vestiges of disinterest gone, stared wide-eyed at Willow.
"Oh." Was Faith's bright supply. She blinked a few times and looked back out the window.
Willow continued on more firmly then, "So, you see I can't really point fingers. I don't really like you. I asked you to help in Sunnydale because Buffy needs you. And you did good work for Angel. I don't really trust you, but then I don't really trust myself. I'd just like to know."
'Crap. So big Red went all punisher on a couple guys asses. Revenge for her girl. That's a good a reason as any. I guess.'
"I'm sorry about your…uh…girl, if it helps."
"It doesn't but thank you for saying it."
Once again, silence reigned. The car hurtled past one, then two, then three mile markers. Willow began to think Faith wasn't going to say anything. Then four, then five more went sped by. It seemed as though the car, the girls were the ones standing still and everything else, the whole world, was zooming past their picture windows. The car frozen on blocks while a movie screen projected the world around them moving forward, without them.
A sigh came from the passenger side. Faith gazed out at the flashing world, eyes unfocused, hands absolutely still on her lap.
"Have you ever been a mistake?"
Willow glanced over at her passenger. Faith's whiskey deep voice was low as a whisper. It trailed through the air like wisps of purple smoke in a dark room. Might not even be there at all, except for the scent of burning tobacco on the air. Willow wasn't really sure what Faith was talking about, so she stayed silent, holding out for more than embers, hoping for fire.
"I don't mean, made a mistake, like choosing A when the answer was B." Faith chuckled, then under her breath continued. "I mean being a mistake…your life, the wrong fucking answer."
"Faith, I…"
Faith came back to the present, and shot her doe-eyed gaze in the witch's direction.
"I…we didn't think…no one thought of you as a mistake."
Faith snorted and turned her head back to the blurry world.
"Try not to sound so convincing next time, I might believe you."
The world kept blurring by. The car and its passengers making no mark on it. Just a moment then they were gone.
"I've had lots of time to think about it, being in prison and all, it's true. Guessing mom was right. Would have made a great abortion." Faith humorlessly chuckled. Willow looked horrified.
"I was tired…of being a mistake to everybody else, you know? You know, people get what they expect to get. It everyone was gonna think evil, slut, murderer, I might as well be evil, a slut, and a murderer." Faith smirked. "Hell, I was already a slut and after Finch, a murderer. So evil wasn't really that hard. If you're going to do something, don't do a half-assed job. Go all out, you know?"
Faith statued in the passenger seat, watching the world fly by. The wisps of her smokey purple voice hung thick in the air. The red head sat, hands clenched on the cold steering wheel, eyes flickering across the advancing landscapes.
"What about Xander? You slept with him. Didn't that mean anything to you? You tried to kill him."
Willow stole another look at the raven-haired girl. Faith had some indefinable emotion written across her features, in her eyes. Her hand about to tuck her hair behind her ear sat frozen in mid motion. It trembled a moment and then fell back into Faith's lap.
"Xander," Faith choked out, "he was nice, I didn't know. He…deserved better, I don't mean in bed. I got some wicked good moves," she smirked halfheartedly, then sobered, "After I shouldn't have just, well I shouldn't have toyed with him. He deserved better."
"You tried to kill him."
Once again Faith shrank back in her seat. Her large and in charge attitude wanting to rear its head and put this girl back in her place. 'Didn't Red just say she tried to kill him? What does she want from me anyhow?' Then the new and slightly less psychotic part of her psyche pushed back the urge to do some violence.
Dark hair now draped in front of her face, curtaining her expression, Faith whispered, "He reminded me of…someone else. What he said. About us having a connection. I…it was another place. I wasn't the slayer then…Xander deserved better."
The silence stretched on ahead of them, as long and dark as the road ahead. Neither girl willing to break the silence. There were also no helpful road signs with directions to friendship, forgiveness, or trust. The one girl sat thinking of past mistakes and regrets. The other sat thinking of past mistakes and regrets. Mile markers swept past. Nothing in the world identifiable. Just blur, and blur. On and on the road ahead of them.
Finally, many mile markers and heavy thoughts later, the red headed witch; murderer, ex dark magic addict, almost destroyer of the world braved the void.
"I'm sorry I didn't go to prison and you did. That doesn't really seem right." Willow trying to lighten the mood. "I mean I got way closer to destroying the world than you did."
The dark haired doe-eyed girl; ex rogue slayer, escaped convict, ex psychotic murderer replied, not to be out done, of course.
"Hey, no big deal. I bet your trip wasn't a big picnic in the park, either. Anyway, locked up with lots of female types? Bars, handcuffs, breasts everywhere. You'd probably like it."
The two girls semi-grinned. Not really friends, not really trusting. The car sped off, moving through the almost certainly doomed world, a blur streaking by the still world.
