They meet on a pleasant night, undeterred by strong gusts of wind or falling cherry blossoms – it's just them, and everything that comes with that.
(Let that be enough for you, Sasuke-kun, for once)
He stops before she does, eyes blank and unfeeling as they rove over her black clad form; he watches as a pale hand reaches up and shoves back her famed ANBU mask to reveal those green, green eyes. His own dark pair flit up to meet them and he freezes under her gaze, entrapped by the carefully schooled apathy that he isn't ready for. She holds his stare steadily; she's seen those eyes a million times before in her dreams and it's not going to get to her now. Neither move for a long, cold moment, until he breaks, relenting against an opponent for the first time in years.
(But you've never really been an opponent, an enemy. You've never been someone worthwhile to him; you've never been capable of posing a threat to him. You're still weak)
Her mind is a vicious place indeed.
"Sakura." His voice is smooth and dark and it has barely changed but somehow it feels much, much more distant, and much less like Sasuke.
Suddenly, she misses him.
"I'm back."
But the loneliness fades, and the longing and wistfulness subside for long enough to let rage encompass her at his cool words. She revels in it, in the pulsating burn of anger with which she's so familiar.
(Revels in anger rather than the desperation that she's felt for so long; the lonely need for him threatens to encompass her one day and swallow her whole)
She wants to lash out, to hit him with all she's got and scream at him and hurt him and finally welcome him in because this is her Sasuke-kun and she's missed him so, so much. She wants nothing more than to beat him black and blue and red, to hurt him until all her rage is gone and then hold him because he is still dear to her. She wants to make him pay so that she can embrace him again without remorse. And she knows she wants to do so. So she doesn't.
(You're being foolish, again. This could be your only chance and you're blowing it, blowing it like Naruto wouldn't. You're letting him down!)
Her mind is screaming at her because this is going against everything about her, and her body screams for her not to do it. It's too late. She learned about determination years ago, and habits like those die hard.
She keeps her arms by her side and walks over to him, certain and unwavering, feet not trembling the slightest. She stops about a foot away from him, and doesn't hesitate to snap her head up and match his stare with her own one. He doesn't intimidate her anymore. It's been some time since anyone's been able to. A chill wracks her body and he looks surprised because it's unseasonably warm out. She spots the confusion and she wants to sigh because he still doesn't get it, doesn't get her.
It's a chill of loneliness, a feeling of missing someone that's a foot in front of you; it's a chill that grips her heart and takes her breath away. He takes her breath away. She can't say she enjoys it, anymore.
"You," she holds a hand up and she doesn't know why – she's going on instinct now, "are not Sasuke-kun."
She has no idea where she's going with this. No idea what she's spouting, no idea why she's saying it, but she sees the shock and the almost-hurt in his eyes and all of a sudden what she's doing feels so right.
He opens his mouth to protest, and she cuts him off before his lips can form words.
"You," her lips press tightly together, and she refuses to falter when she's already come so far, "are Uchiha Sasuke. Liar, traitor, and threat to my village. Sasuke-kun died years ago when he left Konoha for Orochimaru."
(he died when he left me so long ago for someone who did nothing but ruin him)
"As a kunoichi of Konoha," she pauses. He makes her doubt herself all over again, "I am arresting you. But as myself, as Sakura-
(as the girl who loved you all those years ago, the girl that never meant anything to you)
-I'm asking you to leave, and not return until you've figured out what the hell it is you're doing."
She lowered her hand and let her gaze drop from his eyes, stepping away briskly from the missing-nin.
"I'm asking you to consider why it is you're here. And if it's worth it. Because although I'm willing to let you go this once, I'm not willing to let you hurt my village."
(I'm not willing to let you hurt Naruto again when you inevitably leave once more, hurt me. We love you, love you, love you – and you and I both know you don't love us like that)
Her viridian eyes lock onto his now red ones once more, unflinching and boring straight into him.
"I'm asking you, Sasuke, to not make me do this. Because after all that you've already done, I think I deserve a break."
(I'm asking you to not make me suffer through having to arrest you, because I know my Sasuke-kun's in there and as much as I love my village I love him more and I'll never hurt him. Don't make me feel useless again.)
She lets out the breath she didn't know she was holding as he nods sharply and turns to leave, secretly tailing him to the edge of Konoha to ensure that he doesn't try anything while the village is asleep and vulnerable – when she is vulnerable. She stops as he pauses right before the gate, and his spinning red Sharingan fade to onyx as they turn and view her spot on the rooftop.
"…I'm sorry."
And he leaves in hushed tones and unsaid words, and she feels more lost than ever, knowing that all of this – it isn't what she ever wanted. Her village is her home, her haven; it's what defines her. But underneath all her unwavering loyalty to Konoha, there's still a place for the broken broken boy that she never really stopped loving. And, when it comes down to it, she'd pick him every time. Because maybe Konoha defines her, but he holds too much of her in his hands for her to ever be willing to let him go. And in the end, no matter what she says, he's still her
(Sasuke-kun! Do you want to go for a walk? Sasuke-kun! Will you train with me?)
first love.
(No. Go away.)
She's always had a problem with letting go. But, as she watches his back vanish from her line of sight,
(it would seem like we're always doing that, aren't we?)
she stops missing him so much. Maybe this is progress. Maybe one day this'll all be better, be fixed. But for now, she slumps against a wall, tilts her head back and remembers.
A/N: I….don't know. I know there are errors everywhere and I don't think there's any real plot at all but this is what happens when I get lonely. ._. R&R nevertheless though!
(P.S. Listen to Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie. There's little relevance to this fail oneshot, but you should still do it.)
