Akatsuki Bender Blender
Prologue: SMOOTHIES
~(insert disclaimer here).
It was a cold morning in the Akatsuki base. Granted, the apartment generally had drafts coming in, even in the summer (which is questionable for the organization's health, Hidan's whiny complaints aside), so this morning was not very different from the other ones, temperature-wise.
Insert boring monologue here.
Itachi and Kisame, having gotten back from a mission (fighting for the last box of Twinkies in the grocer) in the wee hours of the morning, retired shortly to their beds in blindness and weariness, respectively (hey, those anorexic teens can put up a fight).
Sasori and Deidara were up and in the kitchen, quietly arguing ("Fleeting, un!" "Eternal, brat.") and eating leftover sweets.
Zetsu was. . .somewhere(insert cannibalism joke here).
Hidan and Kakuzu were snoring peacefully. Well, Hidan was snoring in his bed and Kakuzu was mumbling about money in his sleep.
Tobi was sleeping. Tobi is a good boy as long as he's quiet.
Pein and Konan were in their respective rooms, staring up at their ceilings in quietness, pondering the day's adventures. Okay, yesterday's adventures, seeing as it was morning and nothing crazy had happened yet.
Insert self-assurance of security here.
. . .
Then. . .
. . .
. . . BAM! (Yes, that word was just capitalled, underlined, italicized, and boldened for emphasis.)
There was a random explosion that shook the Akatsuki base to its drafty foundations.
(In an alternate dimension. . .omake introducing cliche surfer!Narrator)
"&*#! WHO THE *!&^# MADE THAT #*^* EXPLOSION? DEIDARA YOU *&^# $&*$^* SHEMALE! #*^#%!"
"Wasn't me, un,"mumbled Deidara the riiighteous blonde dude, dude.
"Shut up, Hidan," everybody righteously choruses. Konan and Pein righteously bury their heads under their pillows, man.
"JASHIN-SAMA WILL #*&^ YOUR $#*&$ $$#$!" Nobody could go back to sleep now, and woah, what was that explosion, dude? Riiighteous.
And then they all get righteously mad and then righteously sad, dude, and then after that they're like, woahhh, trippin' balls, man, and forget all their righteous problems.
Righteous end of Chapter One. Woahhh, bro.
A~N: The above surfer-talk paragraph is probably a summary of everything. Ever. You may take it as you will, but that is what it is.
