Disclaimer: I own nothing except the idea for this story and my new made up character. No infringement intended.
A/N: This whole scenario actually came from the freakishly weird dream I had one night... set somewhere in season 9. I hope it makes some sense; I just had to write this down.
This is also my response to the HBX Challenge of January 2008. 9 months after the fact... hmmm, wonder if that's legal...? Better late than never, right?
All mistakes are mine.
A match made in heaven
It's a rather chilly night, our last night on this mission. Fitting somehow, that after two weeks in a scorching heat we'd be given this somewhat perfect clear night to end a somewhat successful mission.
We took to the roof of some apartment building for some peace and quiet. Just us girls, enjoying the view.
Everything seems different from up high. I've never been much of a city girl and I admit, if only to myself, that I'm awed by the bird's eye view every time - all the small lights of the city, flickering in different rhythms; the winds wrapping around the cement pillars sticking out of the land.
My roof-companion lets out a heartfelt sigh. I guess she's just as happy as I am that this mission is finally over. At first I was really excited, and I mean 16-year-old-girl-gets-a-car excited, that I was going on a CIA mission because of my area of expertise. The whole idea of serving my country to this extent was more than I'd hoped to achieve in my life.
Out of the four of us on this mission, only one is actually CIA, which got me thinking maybe ignorance really is bliss... I'm not sure I'll ever be as safe in the knowledge that the CIA is protecting my country... then again, as long as they recruit people like Harmon "Harm" Rabb and Sarah "Mac" MacKenzie I just might feel even safer.
Mac has become my new best friend these past two weeks. My professional training in no way prepared me for this CIA mission and the two day crash course in spookism didn't do much either. Mac helped me through everything from packing to playing the part.
She's leaning on the roof's cement railing, studying her fingers, specifically the ring adorning one of them. In her situation I'd be just as frustrated – imagine pretending to be married to the man you're secretly in love with. Pure torture.
I turn my attention to the city below us once again. They're both silly. Anyone can see they both care deeply for each other. I've known them for less than two weeks and I can read it as if it's written on their foreheads in permanent markers. Another sigh coming from my right makes me shake my head and turn to my side, facing her.
"You really don't know he loves you?"
"Huh?" I've managed to startle her out of her thoughts and the ring she was playing with her almost committed suicide. Her bewildered expression turns to an admonishing one. "Natalie, I told you, it's not like that."
"Yes you did, and even after the millionth time you still haven't managed to convince even yourself." I wanna grab them both and throw them into each other's arms, with a good slap upside the head each. Have been on the verge of doing just that for the past week.
Mac sighs again and looks up at the stars. "It'll never work." She thinks she finished the conversation.
"Now what did I tell you about saying never?" I use my best motherly tone with half a smile and actually get a laugh out of the brooding woman.
"I'm gonna miss your sense of humor, Nat." she tells me and turns back to lean on the bumpy cement.
I turn to face the roof and stare up at the stars. I am not going to miss this place. This night can be as charming as it wants. I still want to go home.
With her back to the roof, Mac doesn't see the object of her frustration standing at the door with a gleam in his eye that's visible even in the darkness of a moonless night. I flash him a grin and am about to call out to him when he places a finger to his lips and winks. I smirk and turn to Mac, to distract her from her not quite stealthy sailor.
"So, are you gonna miss this place?"
Once again startled out of her thoughts, Mac recovers faster this time and the smile comes almost naturally. "Well, I'm sure I'll miss the wonderful weather, the charming people and the leisurely quiet days and nights." I laugh and she joins in laugher but gasps in surprise mid-laugh as a large hand comes to rest gently on the small of her back.
Her head whips to the other side and her hand comes automatically to slap the intruder. Halfway to its target though, the hand slows and ends up resting on Harm's chest.
"I thought I told you what would happen if you ever snuck up on me again, mister." The banter has begun. I shake my head and feel the smile take root on my face.
Harm nods his head with a smile of his own. "And I told you I'd call your bluff."
Before I know what's happening Harm's on his back on the floor, and Mac's knee is on his chest while her hands hold his to the ground.
"You were saying?" she asks him and I know she's got one brow raised without even seeing her face. I can't help but burst out laughing and the couple suddenly remembers they're not alone in the world. Mac looks back at me and Harm lifts his head from the floor and I'm met with identical slightly embarrassed smiles.
"Come on, old man, get up." Mac helps Harm up and I pretend not to notice the lingering touches. Who the hell do they think they're fooling?
"Well, I think I'll call it a night." I fake a yawn. Hey, if they're gonna be obvious, I needn't bother with hiding my intentions of leaving them alone. "G'night!"
They both bid me a good night and pleasant dreams.
Reaching the door that leads to the stairs, I walk into the darkened hall, but linger just inside the door.
Leaning against the wall, out of sight, I observe two individuals that would make great role-models for anyone. They're leaning against the railing and each other, their heads almost touching. A happy sigh escapes my lips.
Harm takes Mac into his arms and holds her close, kissing the top of her head. In my mind a hypothetical conversation between them is playing out. This is wonderful; practically a private chick-flick screening going on here. I wonder if there'll be a happy chick-flick ending as well...
A change in the air warns me of someone approaching even before I can see the outline of the fourth member of our party taking form in the shadows.
"What's going on?" His accusatory tone doesn't surprise or affect me anymore. He'd stopped creeping me out after the first couple of days, now I'm just exasperated. What does Mac see in him anyways?
"Shoo, Webb, don't bother them." By now he can see past me and to the other side of the roof.
"That's my girlfriend out there, you know." Still he makes no attempt to move in any direction.
"Which part of 'shoo' didn't you understand?" I glare at him. Once I got over the creepiness factor, I was, for once, delighted to find out that this guy is actually intimidated by me. Usually when I find out people consider me a tad scary I get slightly upset, but this time I almost jumped for joy.
A few seconds of a staring contest are enough to make him back off and skulk back to where he came from. Once again alone in the dark with my romantic-drama, the smile returns to my lips. This is the stuff dreams are made of. Real sappy dreams, but dreams nonetheless.
A few minutes after Webb's departure, I decide to take my leave of the roof as well.
--
Having spent the better part of an hour enjoying a loooong hot shower, I am now more than ready to get under the covers and have a good night's sleep before we leave tomorrow morning.
I just manage to beat the pillow into the correct shape when there's a tentative knock at the door. I knew going to sleep early was an idea that's too good to be true...
Once I see Mac on the other side of the door I open it wide to welcome her in. I didn't think I'd see her again tonight. Certainly not with tear tracks on her face.
"Mac! What's wrong?" I blurt out before I pull her inside my room and close the door.
She just shakes her head, crosses her arms tight in front of her and moves to the far part of the room, taking deep breaths as she goes. I stay quietly where I am. She came here, I have faith she'll tell me why, but right now it looks like she wants to be with herself – just not alone. Had it been a crisis that needed action, she wouldn't be acting like this. And this from knowing the woman for less than a month.
A few minutes later I'm starting to think maybe I should offer her a seat, something to drink... a hug... but then suddenly and out of nowhere, she speaks.
"I'm not very good at relationships, am I?"
I am tempted to make it a conversation and ask something like 'why do you say that?', but luckily, at the last moment I decide to keep my mouth shut. At least for now I'm letting her go on, if she turns to me and looks for dialogue, I'll be there.
"It's not because I don't like to let people in... apparently I just don't like letting them stay... or I don't make them feel welcomed..." She lets out a sigh. "Stupid metaphors."
I let a small smile come to my lips, despite the turmoil radiating from Mac in nearly palpable waves. Maybe it's better that she's on monologue mode, god knows what I could say to elevate her worries. I wait in patience.
"This time I really set myself up, though." She shakes her head from side to side slowly. "I knew he wouldn't let me in and thought that would work perfectly with my unwillingness to let him in. I am such an idiot." I have no idea what she's saying.
She finally turns around, squashing my theory that she came here to talk to herself without feeling crazy. I see a distraught woman before me, with watery eyes and a tortured soul. I want to cry for her.
"He's gone." My eyes open wide in shock and I just barely hold myself back from reacting with the instinctive 'he didn't!'. "Left a note under the door that he's catching the next flight out."
"Did he say why?" I pray this is not the wrong thing to ask just now.
Mac shrugs and sinks onto the edge of the bed. "He just wrote that he wishes me... well us really, a good life." She buries her hands in her hair. I sit next to her and place a comforting hand on her back. "I can't believe he just left."
As a matter of fact neither can I. I mean, I took Harm to be a stronger guy than that. To just leave a note and disappear is not what I thought he'd do. He's such a decent, do-the-right-thing kind of guy, why would he do something so cowardly? Besides, so what if she's with Webb now? Things can change, it's not like they're married.
I never thought he'd just give up like that.
"Why now? What happened?" I can't help but voice my curiosity. Something had to happen to just make him snap. Did he walk in on them making out or something?
Again, Mac makes the general gestures that depict lack of understanding. "That's just it, nothing happened. Nothing that I'm aware of anyways..." She trails off and I try to wrack my brain for an answer. They looked so happy to be with each other tonight... had Webb dragged Harm off into a corner and told him something to make him think he hadn't a chance? If he did I will find out and so help me god, I'll kick that spook's ass till he sets things right again.
I'm so busy picturing Webb pleading for mercy that I almost miss Mac's next words. "And Harm says he doesn't know anything either; that he was inside the room when the envelope was placed under the door and by the time he got to it there was no one in the hall. Damn spook."
Ok, I'm confused, can we start over? "Harm was there?" I try not to sound too confused, but it's hard when you suddenly realize you've been participating in a completely different conversation from the one you thought you were.
After a deep sigh, Mac goes on. "Yes. I didn't tell him what was going on, I went to try and catch Clay but I was too late... Again."
I have no words. Webb fled? What a relief! Now she can finally climb out of the hole she's dug together with Webb and climb a mountain with Harm! I want to jump for joy, but I don't think Mac would appreciate that too much.
"God, I'm such a mess! Another relationship failed because of this thing."
I can't hear this. "Have you considered that it wasn't meant to work? That they all just weren't meant to be? That it's not your fault?"
Mac finally picks her eyes up from the floor to look at me, but I'm not seeing understanding in her expressive orbs. "Oh, come on, Natalie. I thought you were just teasing me for the fun of it. Do you really think-"
"Of course I do! Mac, you both love each other, it's clear as day. It was clear enough to Webb." But I can see my words are falling on deaf ears.
"We are friends. Very close friends. That's it. That's all it will ever be." I hate that she's so resigned about this. "Sometimes love just isn't enough..." She's back to staring at the carpet.
I take a breath. Who am I to tell her what's right? "Look, Mac, I don't know your history and I don't know what you went through with Harm... or with Webb. I just know what I see. I see some sort of connection between you and Webb, but it's not love... and I see the way you and Harm interact and it speaks volumes. Webb's a coward for leaving like that." That earns me a shocked look from Mac, but I just shrug and go on. "He is. But I think he's just opened a door for you and I think you owe it to yourself, and nobody else, to be a man," there's that raised eyebrow I expected, "do the brave thing and face the consequences."
The eyebrow remains raised, and just so I'm not misunderstood I make it perfectly clear: "You should talk to Harm, heart bared and true, and deal with what happens after you do."
"I got it the first time, Nat." She assures with a hint of a smile.
I raise my hands in mock surrender. "Hey, just making sure. Harm said Marines can be slow sometimes." I've perfected my deadpan expression.
"He did, did he?" Now there's a definite smile pulling at her lips, but her eyes are serious and I'm sure entire plans are planned and discarded inside her head in those few seconds. She focuses back on me. "Thanks, Nat. You're a good friend... despite your romantic tendencies..." She smiles and leans in for a short hug.
"I do what I can." I say as I hug her back.
We get up and I walk her to the door. "Now, go consummate that fake marriage!" I quickly open the door and duck behind it, for fear of Marine retaliation, but only get laughter in return.
I close the door with a sigh. If she really goes through with it, I can count myself as somewhat responsible for their finally getting together. I smile widely as I lie down on the bed. I am so going to heaven.
--
That night I dreamt a most wonderfully romantic dream, starring (you guessed it) Harm and Mac. I dreamt about what might've happened after she left my room... (cue wavy dissolve)
Mac stood before Harm and hers shared hotel room and took a deep breath, telling herself to be brave repeatedly, before finally opening the door and stepping inside.
Harm was sitting in bed, in his boxers (I know he's hers, but hey it's my dream, I can imagine him sitting there with only his boxers on), reading something. At her entrance he looked up questioningly, sensing her unease.
Mac wasn't ready to form words yet, so she just forced a smile and went into the bathroom, knowing he'd give her the space she needed before finally pestering her about what was bothering her. So she took her time in the shower and after it, lathering her skin with fragrant lotion, slowly rubbing moisture cream onto her face. Finally, feeling clean and refreshed, and as ready as she'll ever be, she stepped back into the room.
She caught a glimpse of the first expression on Harm's face – appreciation, before it returned to the earlier pensive and wondering. "Webb's gone." She chose to start with the simple facts.
Harm raised both brows. "What, got called to some other failing operation?"
She came and sat on the bed beside him. "No..." The word slowly came out. "He's finally had enough and decided to catch the first flight out. We're done." She steeled herself and raised her eyes to meet his. Several emotions were fighting to be allowed on his face and she found herself chuckling despite it all. "Gives you quite the feeling of déjà vu, huh?"
Harm just shook his head and looked genuinely pissed. "I can't believe he just wrote a note and left without a word." He tilted his head to the side, entertaining a new thought. "Then again that is very Webb... What a coward." The last bit he said mostly to himself. He seemed to suddenly remember Mac and looked at her. "Are you okay?"
She leaned back against the headboard getting all sorts of déjà vu feelings as she did, and shrugged her shoulders. "I guess." She could sense his eyes on her, measuring her answer against his truth-o-meter. She had no doubt it was coming up short. "Another casualty to this thing between us" she gestured to the two of them.
"Mac…" Harm recognized the beginning of a conversation he didn't want to have and started backpedaling, but Mac was already in it.
"What is this thing between us, Harm?" She leveled her best 'tell me the truth' gaze at him. He almost flinched.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, is there a reason I can't have a normal relationship with you in the area or is it just me that's fucked up?"
"Mac, that's not-"
But she wouldn't let him finish. "No, really, I just need to know, because if you don't love me the way I love you, I will just deal with it and move on with my life, but I need the harsh, brutal truth, Harm. For once, please, no beating around the bush." It almost cost her a lung to get those words out the way she did, but in a way she was relieved to finally have them out in the open. No matter how he responded and how broken her heart would be in the aftermath, she had stormed the beach and would deal with the consequences.
Harm for his part sat there very confused. Finally some words left his silently moving lips. "If I don't love you...?" Mac looked at him, now also slightly puzzled. In the back of her mind some cells formed a prayer group and begged for clarity.
Harm looked at her and Mac was almost frightened at the resolve in his features. Before she knew what was happening Harm had pulled her to him and proceeded to kiss the daylights out of her. Not that she was complaining.
He kissed her fast and furious, then slow and sensually, and after a small break for breathing, wantonly again. With her hands wrapped possessively around him, her body as close to his as humanly possible, Mac met him kiss for kiss.
When they broke apart for more than a few seconds, she searched his face and allowed a slow smile to spread from one ear to the other.
"I love you Mac." "I love you Harm." They spoke at the same time and broke into quiet laughter that ended on a kiss.
The shrill sound of a phone ringing interrupted my lovely dream. I reach for the phone and open the message received. It only says '733', which is the code for me to call Mac. I have a distinct feeling of something wrong, when slowly I realize that there's light outside... and the clock is showing... I overslept!
Bounding out of bed I start getting dressed, while dialing to Mac. I'm not that late, and it's a good thing I got everything ready last night.
"Morning Mac!" I try to sound as if I didn't just wake up.
"Hey sleepyhead. Harm and I were wondering if you'd like to join us for breakfast... unless you'd rather sleep some more." Apparently I don't put on a very convincing show. But I focus on the sound of her voice. She sounds happy and I'm intrigued.
"I'll be down in 5 minutes, you guys go on."
--
5 minutes later I walk into the restaurant and manage to spot a short shared kiss before the happy couple sees me and tries to act all partners-and-nothing-more. Maybe my dream was actually a vision? I smile brilliantly at them when I reach the table.
"Good morning!" I'm sure my expression adds 'so, had a good night in the married couple suit, did ya?'
They answer back in kind and before long Mac is dragging me to get a cup of coffee and some toast from the buffet. While waiting for the cups to fill, I can't help but speak my mind. "I am so very happy for you, Mac."
She smiles shyly at me and I just have to give her a short sideways hug or else explode with happiness. I'm a sucker for happy endings. "I'll be waiting for that wedding invitation."
Mac rolls her eyes at me but that smiles answers in the affirmative as we move back to the table to join Harm.
We eat rather quickly, since we have absolutely no intention of missing our flight up and away from this hellhole. It is just wonderful to see that the glances they've directed at each other before in hiding are now out in the open and meeting each other halfway.
On the flight I sit next to a loving couple that has taught me a great many things in a very short period of time and thank god for allowing me to meet and get to know them and get to play a small part in the making of them. Yup, definitely going to heaven for this.
--
The End.
