Her hand shook holding her mobile phone. No, this wasn't a good idea, but she was going through with it anyway. She missed him, missed his voice, the way she liked his looking at her, his kiss. His lips flattened against hers with his smile coaxing hers to appear. Before she could talk herself out of it, she had punched his number. No, she hadn't taken him off speed-dial. Hadn't wanted to. Feelings ran deep, and hers were tied up in knots when it came to him. As she waited for the call to go through, her stomach did flip-flops.
She didn't want him to answer, as she waited for him to answer. She didn't make much sense. How could she? She had fallen in love. Had told herself not to, but had ignored herself anyway. Adam was the one who had gotten away only because he wasn't supposed to be with her. But, she wanted him despite all the nonsense that had gone on. How was that for crazy? Her grip on reality was slipping, ever since she had gotten mixed up with the dashing Englishman. If she got his voicemail, she had already decided against leaving a message. Maybe in a day or so she'd go through this whole silly rigmarole all over again. Maybe not. Maybe she would come to terms with this madness, finally, and just forget him. Could she actually do that without slipping? Reverting back to the hardcore realist she used to pride herself on being. Well, she could try, and be better off. Or be a terminal basket-case.
Adam was back where he belonged, and she was here, pining for him in this one-bedroom apartment with walls as thin as paper. When the married couple next door erupted in ecstasy at points during the night, Rachel got very sad. And her thoughts crossed over the Pond to the fabled land of Edwardian kings and queens.
"Hello?"
Did Adam know it was she? What time was it over there? The digital clock on the table near the armchair read 4:00. It was morning, darkest before the dawn and all that. Yes, she was calling him because she couldn't fall back to sleep, and the couple's moaning coming from next door kept her up. Those two were at it again, with their guttural sighs and high-pitched outbursts. Insatiable beasts they were, though one would never get that by just looking at them. The wife was blond with a perky smile, genial and demur. Her husband was pleasingly laid-back, a friendly sort, tall, lean and, yes, quite the gorgeous catch.
Rachel envied Molly. That was the wife's name. Her husband was George. Their last name, Artz.
"Rachel?" Adam cleared his throat, making it sound more commanding. "Is that you?" Exhilaration zipped through him, chasing his blood. He hadn't felt so alive in weeks. "I hope to what little mercy there is in this world that it's you." He strained, desperate to hear her slight breathing.
She released a shaky breath. Not sounding half as sure of herself, she responded, "H-hi. Adam…" What had gotten into her? What was she doing? He wasn't sure who this was. Probably because her phone number was no longer saved on his phone. He'd most likely deleted it. She decried how needy her voice was. Sour, she reprehended herself.
"Well, I must say, this is a surprise. Quite. How are you?"
Miserable rattled through her mind. No matter how much she drank, trying to drown old memories with as much booze as she could lay her hands on, the exercises were total failures. He'd left his mark, on her heart, and the ache she felt wore on and on. "Fine. Fine." Liar rippled through her. Lies rolled off her tongue all too easily. It was positively pathological.
She was "fine," so she said. Thing was, when she was lying, her voice hitched. "Funny this. That you should call."
"Where are you?"
Adam puckered his lips over five thousand miles away. "About to have lunch, at my club. It's twelve here, you know."
She didn't really, but was glad she wasn't catching him at an inconvenient time, the way circumstances had caught her. "I know it's funny that I'm calling." Her tongue went dead in her mouth.
"You still there?"
"Yeah. Still here." She wished he had been the one to call. That way, at least she would feel she had a leg up. Having the upper hand was important to her.
"The reason it's funny is that I'm scheduled to fly to the States early next week." He wasn't trying to convince her to run away with him this time. He was running to her. And would he try again? Induce her to go back to England with him? He would need to hone his power of persuasion. Coat his plea in sincerity, all wrapped up in need. Lay an offer she could never refuse on her, and mean it with all his heart. There was no way he'd bail on her this time. Was she still with the show? If so, and Quinn still tried to interfere, he'd expose the harpy for what she was. A self-serving, lying manipulator, who didn't deserve Rachel's fealty. Rachel deserved so much better. She was no more mentally unbalanced than he was.
Rachel began rubbing her temples, her head throbbing. Her heart thrummed. Her eyes were bloodshot due to lack of sufficient sleep mixed with straight alcohol. She'd had one drink too many earlier that evening. "Next week?"
"Yeah. Tuesday." Dispensing with further hesitation, he forged right ahead. "I'd like to see you. That is, if you wouldn't mind."
Excellent, boomed in her head. "I wouldn't mind," she said so softly, he repeated his wanting to see her. "No, no I wouldn't mind. I'd like to see you too."
"Splendid!" The excitement in his voice reached through the darkness, coaxing her reluctant smile.
"Adam."
"Yes, Rachel?"
"Are you sure?"
"About seeing you?"
"Yes. About seeing me."
He heartily endorsed, "Absolutely. Can't wait. I'll phone you when I've arrived. We'll have dinner. Yes?"
"If you want to," she replied hesitantly.
"I want to. Till then, then," Adam underscored.
"Till then," Rachel rejoined, the whirring in her mind making her feel lightheaded. Gladness seeped through her.
"Good hearing from you."
"Good to be heard. Bye for now. See you soon." His name fluttered in her mind.
He ended the call, and ended her depression of several months. Desperation had worn her ragged. She replaced her phone on the night table, then breathed deeply, then rolled over unto her other side and shut her weary eyes. In less than two minutes she was fast asleep.
