Kyle the Conjuror and Sigmund the Sorcerer are arguing in the quad of Milkweed Academy for Wizards while their mutual friend Viv (moi!) looks on in great annoyance. Randomly, the break out into a song from Quest for Camelot.
Sigmund: It's only because you're holding me back! If I didn't have you, I could do a lot of things. (singing) I'd be rocking with the dinos, swinging with the rhinos, I'd re-wizardize this place in a minute. "SIGMUND!" they would sing because I would be the wizard king! I would love this world without you in it. If I didn't have you…
Kyle: If you didn't have me?
Sigmund: If I didn't have you!
Kyle: Well what about if I didn't have you, huh?
Both: Oh what I could be if there was only me. Oh what I'd do if I didn't have you!
Viv: Stop bickering and get your act together!
Kyle: Act? Did someone say act? I can act! (singing) If only I had separate parts, my career would be the arts. I'd be the star of Camelot! You'd be the half that the whole world forgot! If I didn't have you…
Sigmund: I should be so lucky!
Kyle: If I didn't have you!
Sigmund: Oh wait! You'd be dead!
Both: Oh what I could be if there was only me. Oh what I'd do if I didn't have you! Oh what I'd do if I didn't have you!
Kyle: TRAPPED! AAH! TRAPPED!
Sigmund: Stuck here with you for eleven years!
Kyle: Oh dear. It's learned to count.
Sigmund: If you hadn't turned the teacher into flan, I would've split years ago!
Kyle: Now listen here, pal, I didn't come here to be insulted!
Sigmund: Oh? Well where do you usually go?
Kyle: I'd be a fire-breathing lizard!
Sigmund: I'd be one high-flying wizard!
Kyle: You'd be nothing without me. You'd be extinct and cease to be!
Sigmund: I'm so tired of your nagging!
Kyle: And I'm so tired of your bragging!
Sigmund: Without me you'd have no brain…
Both: With which to think!
Kyle: If only I had separate parts…
Sigmund: I'd be rocking with the dinos, swinging with the rhinos…
Kyle: My career would be the arts…
Sigmund: I'd re-wizardize this place in a minute. "SIGMUND!"
Kyle: I'd be the star of Camelot…
Sigmund: They would sing because I would be the wizard king!
Both: I would love this world without you in it! If I didn't have you! If I didn't have you!
The two come out dancing. They struggle because they are both trying to lead.
Kyle: This way! Let me lead!
Sigmund: No. THIS way, twinkletoes!
Both: Life would be so sweet if these were both my feet. Oh what I'd do if I didn't have you.
Sigmund: I got you, babe!
Both: Oh what I'd do if I didn't have you!
They come out in Elvis costumes and start singing in that style.
Both: We-e-e-e-e-e-e-ll oh if I didn't! Yeah if I didn't have yoo-oo-oo-oo-u!
Sigmund: Thank you very much.
Kyle: Thank you!
Sigmund: Sigmund has left the building!
Kyle: You've never sung before have you?
Sigmund smacks Kyle upside the head. The camera pans out to Viv who is laughing and clapping before rolling her eyes and walking away.
