Fear
A/N: This is just one of those stories that falls down in your head when you least expect it. Spoilers to S13E20. English is not my strong suit but I hope it is still readable. Enjoy!
The weather was getting warmer and Gibbs felt a little better today than he had done in a long while. It has been some hard months and for some reason the spring made his mind a little lighter. Of course, the psychiatrist, Grace as she was in his mind and Ducky both would come up with some mumbo jumbo to tell him that was perfect normal but he wanted still hang on this feeling of joy that the weather was giving him.
He stood in the line at his favorite coffee place, was considering getting a chocolate muffin for the last way to the office, when he got the call. "Gibbs!" he answered "10-00. Agent found in a car on the highway. They say it's Agent DiNozzo, Sir." Said the operator who sounded hollow and a long way away.
The only words he managed to say was "10-4!" even do it took him about 5 minutes to understand what was actually happening. He was running to the building even his car forgotten. This could not be happening. Not the man he had been working with the last 13 years, not his friend. He could not even bring himself to call and ask McGee and Bishop because he had to see for himself if it was true or not.
He walked in and had to slow down a bit to get through security. It took what seems like ages but finally they let him through. He had no time to wait in line for the elevators so he took the stairs and quickly. When he went in to the squad room, he saw DiNozzo talking with McGee and Bishop and his immediate thought was to hug him. However, before he acted on this feeling he already had given the order for them to move to the scene. They needed to catch the bastards who had scared him like this and that fast.
- Later same day -
Tony DiNozzo was angry, no he was confused, angry and quite frankly a bit confused. Someone had stolen his identity to bribe senators and used actors. Moreover, yes, the first one had looked very much like him but the two other clowns looked nothing like him at all. He was also surprised at the way Gibbs had yelled at him for picking up women like that. The man had actually been married four time and had a fling with a fellow agent he was undercover with so it was not as if he had not made mistakes before. However, he would never dear talk back at him when he got like this. He knew that it came from a place of concern and was very lucky to have that in his life. He knew Gibbs loved him like a father.
However, in the end it was starting to be a problem for him because as he walked beside his boss he felt less for him as a father and more like someone he would like to bring with him home. The feeling had crept up on him since the last time Gibbs got out of the hospital. The feeling of wanting to be near him, hold him and love him because he could not imagine his life without him, but he knew that that would never happen because it was against the regulations, Gibbs rules and not to mention the fact that his boss was far from gay. He did not really understand it because he had never been in love with a man in his life. Nevertheless, it was probably the way Abbey once told him, "You fall in love with the person, gender doesn't really matter." He had never understood it before now.
Gibbs was a bit worried that he had made things worse. He had yelled at Tony for the way he picked up his dates, when he actually was much madder that it was someone who knew Tony that wanted to hurt him. He could not understand that someone wanted the man walked beside him harm. He was kind, friendly, a good agent and woman would probably say he was very handsome. Of course, he talked excessively much and in movie references half of the time but he was a very good person.
He realized that Tony was very quiet as they walked down the street but he thought the younger man had the right to a little bit privacy and a chance to think. In addition, he had some demons to work out himself. The truth was after the sudden thought of wanting to hug Tony his head had more than once gone to crazy ideas about life without him and he found him wanting to pull him closer and never let go. He had again the thoughts that has crossed his mind after he was sick with the plague. The thoughts of not wanting to live without him, wanting to spend every waking moment with him and invite him to stay with him forever in his house. He had pushed these thoughts away ever since but now they took control of him and would not let go. Maybe he needed to talk to him about this. Then he remembered, it was a girl his coworker had wanted to hook up with that got them in this mess to begin with and he felt a sadness in his heart again.
A week later:
The case had been closed for a few days but Gibbs could not let his newfound feelings for Tony go. He needed to talk to him. He knew that this might ruin everything they had built for the last 13 years but he knew this feeling would never leave him this time and that in the end would ruin it all the same so he had to take the chance. He sat in the dinner, waited for Tony to walk the door, and could not stop looking at it waiting.
Tony walked and saw the man he loved in the window watching the door closely. He had made a decision to tell Gibbs this fact no matter what he would bring up at this meeting. He could not go on living a lie anymore. He walked in and sat down at the table right across for Gibbs.
"Hey" he said.
"Hey, thank you for coming here. I know it is early but I thought we could grab breakfast together before going in to work. I brought you pancakes." Gibbs was explaining.
"That's awesome. I love pancakes. I have something to tell you". Tony was a bit nervous now.
"I have something to. Can I please start?" said Gibbs
"Of course, boss!"
"You know I don't believe in saying sorry but I have to say sorry about the way I treated you in this case. I was scared of losing you and lashed out. The truth is I have felt somethings I can't let go of." – Gibbs stopped a bit.
"Me too.. I am very scared to tell you this. But I think I'm falling in love with you." – Tony closed his eyes and waiting for the bomb to go off. Instead, he felt a soft kiss and the words he never thought he would hear.
"I think I'm falling for you too, Tony"
