For once I want to be the one who is loved.

I want to find the guy who knows everything about me.

Who doesn't care about my past but wants the future.

A guy who wants to marry me for me

I want to be loved.

I had a guy like that once.

He chose somebody else instead.


Waking up those days following was soo hard.

Maybe I messed it up, I really don't know.

I told him I was pregnant.

Maybe that's what did it

He looked at me like I was crazy.

All I wanted was to do this right, especially this time.

I couldn't handle raising a kid by myself, not again.

Not after so many years.


But he chose somebody else.

I lost everything that mattered most to me.

I should have figured it out when he didn't tell me about her.

He was being distant.

Nothing can prepare you for news like that.


The hardest thing was the ring.

It was so hard to give that back.

I cried like I had lost something so important.

It was special.

It had meaning.

But nothing mattered

Not anymore.

Not to him anyway.


I told him I hoped he was happy.

That his life should have more meaning than it did when he was with me.

That was the last time I saw him.


For days I didn't get out of bed.

It hurt too much

To move

To eat

To even function

Everyone called or stopped by to see what was wrong.

They didn't get it.


And if they did it get it they hated me, thinking I caused the entire problem.

It takes two people to make a baby.

It's a relationship.

It's a mixture of things.

There's trust

And love, honest love.

And most importantly there aren't any secrets.

Nothing related to the sappy stuff from Hallmark.


Slowly life goes on.

There are days when it's hard to get by.

Other days are fine.

The nights are always the problem.

Everything smells like him.

No matter how many times it's washed.

I couldn't bring myself to throw them out.

Or to buy new things to replace what was.


After a huge fight with my mother I think she gets it.

Maybe not, who knows.

She said she was sorry about what had happened.

That she didn't see it coming.


Nobody did!


I still don't understand everything that had happened.

But my life has new meaning.

There's somebody else to worry about.

Somebody who requires more attention

More love.

Maybe a little sap from hallmark


I felt like I was sixteen again.

Being stared at

Talked about

I felt like I was the enemy of the whole town.

It wasn't my fault he left.

But nobody cared.

Nobody listened.

So I left.


Took everything that mattered

Every memory that you could pack in a box

To some place else

To make new memories


This was eight years ago

Life moves fast.


Who would have known that I moved on with my life?

That finally I did find a guy who loved me for me.

That knew everything about me.


It took him eight years to get it right.

My children adore him.

Life does go on.


I got a very special present for Christmas.

It was the ring.

Nothing was said, but the love and affection were there


Who would have figured it out,

That after all these years

I would finally get it right


I would find the guy who loved me for me.

Loved my life, my past, and my problems.


Who didn't have any secrets.

Who hated hallmark just as much as I do.

And was just there when you needed him.


Life goes on.


And yes it does get better.

Fin.


A/N: Please review and let me know what you think.