Disclaimer: The character's are JKR's, and the "things not to do" are courtesy of the many readers who have posted them on the internet.

It was the end of fifth year, James Potter was having the time of his life. He was on his first date ever with the girl of his dreams. The redheaded Lilly Evans had actually consented (after some persuasion) to go on a single date with him, and being James, he had chosen, not her ideal date, but his.

"Come on, Boors, KILL HIM!!"

"Watch out for their beater, they don't play fair."

"It's THERE! THERE, YOU FAIRY!"

It was the House Cup, Slytherin vs. Hufflepuff (unfortunately, Gryffindor had gotten kicked out early this year due to the fact that their two starting beaters had collided in midair. James had never been more displeased in his entire life.) The stands were packed with spectators from every house. It was a gorgeous May afternoon, and from his and Lilly's seats on the top of the stands, you could see miles into the surrounding countryside. Lilly was laughing at something he had said, and, James thought, looking absolutely radiant with her hair tousled from the wind. She seemed to be having fun. He leaned back contentedly and cautiously put an arm around her shoulders. When she did not move away, he grinned quietly and his mind returned to the game at hand. There was a rumor that Hufflepuff had a secret weapon (reputedly named after a fungus) that they would only pull out to get the winning goal. And, with five minutes left and a score of 150 to 140 Slytherin, they needed it.

Meanwhile, across the pitch, the remaining Marauders sat glumly without their fourth quarter. They had enjoyed the game, but far less than they would have if Gryffindor, led by their dear Prongs, had been playing. Remus Lupin sighed. Sirius was getting fidgety, and Peter was whining about something or other. He had not realized that when he set James and Lilly up that it would mean watching the House Cup without him. Suddenly, Peter sat bolt upright in his seat.

"What's up Pete?" Sirius asked, bored. Peter was staring at a small group of players that had congregated around center pitch.

"Badger…" Peter said, pointing. He was counting the Hufflepuff team members, all of whom seemed to be congregating around one of their team members. "Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger." Then Lupin took up the chant, stunned shock showing on his face.

"Badger badger badger badger badger," the rest of the crowd picked it up in stunned awe.

"MUSHROOM!" screamed Sirius. "The MUSHROOM! It's the MUSHROOM!" The entire team ended up flying slowly and menacingly towards the opposite end of the pitch in their secret formation. The chanting continued from the shell shocked crowd, held in suspense of the great moment.

"Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger…" Suddenly, the entire team exploded outward towards different sides and heights, each of them faking holding a quaffle in their right arm.

"MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!" the crowd roared, and Allington, the keeper for the Slytherin team, shot to the left after the star chaser, leaving the goal posts wide open for their Seeker to score the winning goal. But the seeker of the opposing team moved to intercept them.

"SNAKE! SNAKE! OOH, IT'S A SNAKE!" shouted Lidia, Sirius' girl of the month on Lupin's left. But at the last second, something caught his attention and he appeared to lose balance, enabling the Hufflepuff Seeker was able to shoot the final goal. There was dead silence as it soared through the hoop.

Time stopped. The crowd roared their approval, and the Hufflepuff team reformed in the center and began their victory lap. James turned to Lilly and smiled dazzlingly. I do believe at this moment, Lilly thought, I am perfectly happy, and she kissed him soundly in celebration. But the shrill call of Madam Hooch's whistle cut through the catcalls like a knife.

"PENALTY!! PENALTY!!" she shrieked. All the jubilation was sucked out of the crowd in less than a second. "CROWD INTERFERENCE!! SLYTHERIN WINS THE MATCH!!" Boos and hisses came from the ¾ of the stadium as the Slytherin team began it's victory lap.

"Why are you mad at us?" Lucius Malfoy called tauntingly as he flew by, "It's them that started the chanting!" There was much staring focused on the Marauders, who made a hasty exit, followed by the Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw Quidditch teams.

The next morning they were found tarred, feathered, and hung from the goal posts of the Quidditch pitch, and Madam Pomfrey was mysteriously out of burn treatments.

The first thing the Marauders must not do at Hogwarts:

I will not sing "The Badger Song" during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.

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Thanks to everyone who read this chapter!! Remember, my muse loooooves reveiws, they help her concentrate. I have a good supply of things they shouldn't neccesarily be doing, but if anyone has any ideas, please let me know!!