"I wont abandon you" the words echo in Ghoul's head. he wasn't about to go and abandon Thea or his kids. and he refused to have to chose between Thea and Deidre, he didn't feel it was right and he would pick Thea and the kids over Dee Dee...an least that is what he decided he would do, who knows what would actually happen when he found the girls and tried to talk this out. He hated to fight with the girls but he also hated those people who would be willing to just up and leave the things they are responsible for, he was torn. "they've been by best friends for years" ...yeah friends, he scoffs at his own words. He couldn't even lie to himself
Dee Dee was way more than just his best friends, at least Deidre was, he had dedicated years to winning her affection, it was to much to just throw away, but then again Thea was the mother to his children and he hates the people who run from what they start.
this was all very confusing to Ghoul, he was never good with relationships. for years the closest thing he got to a relationship was sleeping with the same girl twice, but now he had to choose between love and family...He hates this with a deep passion. half of him would give anything to just start over and pretend he never got hit by chucko's car, that he never joined the Jokerz. if he hadn't he would have never met Dee Dee or Chronos, he never would have reconstructed the time belt and he would have never met Thea.
the other half of him knew this was impossible and that he would have to chose. "what happened to me...i never had to even think of these things before...i never had to..." he sighs and closes his eyes leaning on the backboard of his bed "slag..." he huffs at himself, angry and confused. "this is bull..." he gets up and walks downstairs to make a cup of coffee. "i can't do this anymore..." he looks around, making sure Thea is not down here. "still asleep" he says under his breath and he fills his coffee with spoonful after spoonful of coffee. Kinda scared of the thoughts running through his head.
"maybe it would be better if i just-" he couldn't believe it, he hadn't considered suicide since before he and the gang had gotten recruited by the joker. "I've already died once...i don't want it to happen again, not for a while" he closes his eyes tight again and drinks down the hot cup of sugar packed scolding hot coffee, ignoring the pain and trying not to think. trying not to talk himself into running away like he always had in the past...he was tired of being that guy, he had run from his father, run from the kids who picked on him in school, hell he had ran from 2040. but not this time...he was going to face this head on...or at least he would try to...
