Mistoffelees let out a dejected sigh as he curled up on the blankets in his new den. Part of him loved having his own den now that he was grown, but he missed having Tugger with him at night. Nobody could ever understand their friendship, they were hardly ever seen together but when they were there was no mistaking how close they were so when they were old enough to leave the kitten's den they were paired as den mates until they were fully grown. Of course, most den mates only shared blankets but he and Tugger had almost always slept curled up together. Nobody knew since Tugger had no desire to be known as a cuddler (though he was certainly world class at it) and they didn't want any rumors going around so Mistoffelees didn't exactly have anyone to talk to about it. He was doubly afraid of the rumors because, at least for him, they'd be true and he was known to be a terrible liar so out his secret would come.
He couldn't pinpoint an exact point when he had developed feelings for his best friend, it just sort of happened. He didn't even realize it until recently, when they'd finally been told they were old enough to have their own dens. Neither of them had been particularly eager to separate, they'd grown accustomed to each others presence, but they agreed they should have their own spaces so they did eventually find their own dens, though they both took their time in doing so. Mistoffelees had settled on the backseat of an old Mini that had been vacant for years. It wasn't exactly palatial like Tugger's wardrobe, and Tugger himself found himself a bit claustrophobic when he visited, but it was cozy and had enough room for the few baubles Mistoffelees kept. It just didn't feel like home without Tugger though. He knew Tugger needed room for all his escapades with queens, which only made it worse. He'd never come home and caught Tugger on the job when they lived together, but whenever the subject came up he could see that it made Tugger a bit uneasy. Nobody would have ever expected Tugger to be bashful with the way he danced and flirted, but every time the subjects of love and mating came up in their conversations, Tugger would be quick to change the subject. The image of Tugger awkward and bashful as he dodged those conversations brought a small smile to Mistoffelees' face and for a moment he could feel Tugger there with him. A moment later Mistoffelees leaped up as he realized it wasn't just in his imagination that he could feel Tugger's presence. At some point while Mistoffelees had been lost in thought Tugger had sneaked into his den and curled up beside him.
"Tugger?! What- ? How- ? When- ?" The shock of the realization kept him from compiling a coherent sentence.
"Well I was feeling a bit lonely in my den and I thought you might be too so I thought I'd just come on over. I thought you were asleep so I just snuck in and curled up beside you. Figured you wouldn't mind."
"Of course I don't, but some heads up would be nice! And shouldn't you be off with some queen tonight?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well now that you don't have to worry about interruptions I'd imagine you're getting more than your fair share of action."
"Oh, um, well... not really. Can we talk about something else?"
"What is it with you and mating? Everlasting, I'm the shy one! Yet every time it comes up you clam up. You, the hypersexualized heartthrob of the tribe. What's going on Tug?"
"Promise you won't tell anyone?"
"Come on, you know I won't."
"Well... You know that reputation I have?"
"Who doesn't?"
"What if it were kinda sorta maybe made up a bit?"
"Meaning what exactly?"
"What if it wasn't exactly based on fact and more on rumor?"
"As in you haven't jumped practically every queen?"
"Not exactly."
"Well who have you, then?" Tugger mumbled his response inaudibly. "What was that?"
"No one! I've never actually done the deed."
"Really? Ok I'll play along. What's the big punchline?"
"There isn't one, honest."
"Why are you so uncomfortable talking about it then? There's no shame in being a virgin. I make no attempt to hide it." In the back of his mind, Mistoffelees had begun hoping that Tugger might have some feelings for him too but he dismissed the thought quickly, not wanting to get his hopes up. "Besides you could have you pick of the queens if you wanted to change that."
"I guess you're right," Tugger said, his disappointment clearly written on his face.
"There's more to this isn't there Tug?" Mistoffelees turned his friends face so he could look him in the eye. "Talk to me Tugger. I can't help you if you won't let me, and I want to help you."
"Unless you can use your magic to manipulate someone into falling in love, I'm not sure there's much you can do."
"Name one queen in the yard that wouldn't say yes immediately if you asked her to be your mate."
"That's not the problem."
Mistoffelees heart skipped a beat as he processed what Tugger had said. "Are you saying...?"
"Yeah. Surprise, surprise, the tribe heartthrob bats for the other team."
"So who is it then?" Mistoffelees could barely contain himself. He knew he was in for a world of disappointment if he was wrong, but he didn't care.
"Can we just go to sleep now? I'm pretty exhausted."
That was all the confirmation Mistoffelees needed. Maybe he was wrong and was misreading everything, but in that instant he knew he wasn't. He pulled Tugger in and kissed him. He'd never kissed anyone before and he hoped he wasn't making a mess of it since it may have been the furthest he'd ever get with Tugger. He savored the final moments and parted their lips before opening his eyes. When he did he saw Tugger sitting there, trembling, eyes still shut. Immediately he felt sick to his stomach. He had been wrong. "Tugger?" No response. "Tugger?" Again, nothing. "Tugger! Say something, anything, dammit!" Tugger still remained silent. "Please! I'm begging you, please say something! I-" The words caught in his throat as tears fell from his eyes. "I love you."
