DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE SHOW CASTLE.

A/N: Well I'm not completely sure yet but depending on how everybody feels about this. It may become more than a one-shot so review and let me know what you think.


Just a little back story so before you read so you won't be lost or confused or anything like that. Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan have always been close friends. That was until Javier and Lanie broke up. Javier goes and confides in Kevin about what he was feeling and one thing led to another while they were drinking beers. It's now 6 months later and they are in a secret relationship because to everyone else they are straight. Kevin thought things were going good until it happened. Now that we are all caught up to this point… Enjoy the story…

Kevin walks in through the door and puts his keys on the table and walks over to the couch and drops down beside Javier who is sitting there watching television.

"Hey babe." Kevin says leaning over giving Javier a kiss.

"How was work?" Javier asked.

"It wasn't bad actually. It feels different without you there." Kevin said laughing kicking off his shoes.

"Yeah right. Go ahead and rub it in my face." Javier said

Kevin laid his head down on Javier legs and cuddled up to his boyfriend. Even though this is still new to the both of them it felt right to him. He smiled a little as he felt Javier shift under him.

"I have to pee babe" Javier said trying to slide up from under him.

"Alright." Kevin said sitting up.

Javier went in there and did what he had to do and while he was in there a lot of things went through his head. He came out of the bedroom with a jacket on and grabbed his keys.

"Where you going? I just got here." Kevin asked.

"I'll be back. I got a text from Beckett to come down to the precinct." Javier said walking out the door.

Kevin got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen and started rummaging through the refrigerator. He started to pull things out so he can throw something together so when Javier got back they can eat dinner. As he started to pull pots from the cabinet he heard his phone ring from the living room and it was Javier's ring tone. He opened his phone and was surprised at what he read.

"Is there someone else that I should know about? If so I won't be upset and I will completely understand if you wanna see other people" Javier sent to Kevin

"What? Where did that come from?" Kevin asked replying back.

"Right now at this point I don't think I am ready for love like you are. I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore"

"You can't do this anymore? You were just up here sitting beside me and you couldn't tell me this to my face you had to leave and send it to me in a text message?"

"I'm sorry but please don't make this harder than what it needs to be. I really do care about you and you know that but I don't think I can give you what you want."

"You are what I want!"

"Look with all the things that have happened recently I need to get things straightened out and I don't want you to think that I am using you."

"I don't think you are using me. I tell you everything that goes through my mind. Don't you think I would've told you if I felt like you were trying to use me."

"Think what you want."

"I'm just not understanding this. I thought this were going good between the two of us."

"Look please don't make me repeat myself. This is hard on me."

"Hard on you? This is hard on me. I told you that I loved you and that if you wanted we could tell our friends about us whenever you were ready and you said thank you"

"Okay"

"Okay? That's all you have to say?"

"Stop! Just please get all of your stuff and get out. Leave the key and go. I can't do this anymore and you are making it harder than it needs to be."

"Javi!"

"I'm sorry but right now I don't see myself falling in love with you and you deserve someone who can meet you halfway"

"I told you I'm okay with you not saying that you love me."

"I'm still not over Lanie. I still love her."

"I knew you weren't completely over her by the way you look at her sometimes. But I understand that and I promise I'm okay with that."

"I don't see myself being physically, emotionally, or anything close with you right now."

"What are you talking about? We've already had sex plenty of times. How can you not be physically close to me?"

"Please just leave."

"I'm already packing up my things. I'm just upset that this is happening. This hurts like hell."

"I'm sorry Kev I really am. I really do care about you a lot."

"Sorry? If things weren't going good why didn't you tell me when you first started feeling like this?"

"I was holding back because I didn't want to hurt you"

"You were holding back? I would rather you tell me in the beginning because no matter when you decided to do this it was gonna hurt me."

"Please believe me when I said I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you like this. That is the last thing that I wanted to do."

"Well too late for that."

"I'm sitting here crying because it hurts like hell right now."Javier said.

"How do you think I feel? I'm balling right now."Kevin replied

"I'm sorry"

"Stop saying you're sorry. That's not gonna fix anything. I regret ever telling you that I loved you because ever since then I had a feeling that you were starting to push me away a little bit but since you were my first boyfriend I wasn't sure if that was just my mind playing tricks on me."

"Please don't cry. You deserve someone a million times better than me."

"How can you tell me not to cry. Stop telling me who I deserve. I want YOU!"

"Can I text or call you tomorrow? I still want us to be friends, plus we still have to see each other everyday at work"

"If you want you can but I'm pretty sure I want be any better."

"I'm sorry Kevin"

"I'm leaving now."

"I promise you Kevin that you are the only guy that I've ever wanted to be with and you are the guy that I want. Maybe later down the road we can try again."

"Your key is on the counter."

"I don't know how many times I can say I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"I hope one day you can forgive me."

"Kevin"

"I'm so sorry. I truly am."

I hope that everyone enjoyed this. Don't forget to review!


All feedback good or bad is welcome…