And Stuff.


It had taken a lot of thinking, and really, Yuuri wasn't completely convinced it was a good idea. But while he wasn't sure of the level of correctness of this recent plan, he was completely sure the way in which he was currently going about living was wrong. There was no other way to say it, to look at it, no place for fundamental attribution error. That is, he could not make up any reasons, any judgements, based on his personality or Wolfram's, definitely not Wolfram's, that would make the way he lived correct. Most of the things he did, the way he ruled, they were fine and he did his best, always.

But there was one section of his life that he continually destroyed, over and over. And every time he did it, every time he turned away or denied or ran or hit or screamed inside, he was destroying himself too. It was insane. He's insane. What else could it be? Over and over again, he would deny the blond, his fiancé, Wolfram, would act like it sickened him and say they were friends. Friends. They're not friends. Yuuri didn't want to hold any of his friends close everyday, tell them things that didn't make sense when said outside of the mind. Yuuri didn't like it when his 'friends' called him by a certain nickname, didn't wonder what they'd been up to before he fell into their lives. Yuuri didn't dream those kinds of dreams about his friends, Yuuri didn't clutch his friends to his chest when the original king took over, needing solid ground when his head flew up into nothingness. Yuuri didn't want to have sex with with friends.

No.

They're not friends.

How much did that word hurt him? Every time he'd said it, again and again.

Yuuri didn't want to think about it.

He hadn't wanted to think about it for three years now, shrugging it off and making sure to be really busy, impossibly busy, so he wouldn't notice himself. As long as he was busy, he'd have no idea his heart backflipped into his mouth when those green eyes sharpened at him. As long as he had paper work and filing and meetings and anything, anything at all, he'd be safe. Safe from what? His own emotions! He'd been locking himself out of his own heart for three years. Three. Years. How man days was that? Yuuri didn't want to know. Too many. And he'd go to bed with Wolfram, to their bed, every night, and he wouldn't let anything on. He wouldn't say no, he wouldn't say yes. Just stupid little subconscious things that would fall out of his mouth - flounder around the questions and the feelings and the warmth, the smell, that floated from his body. Two feet from him.

Out of all this, though, there was one thing Yuuri hated himself for. He'd made it happen more than once, and some sick part of him must have enjoyed it. Who knows. He'd been digging up layers of his subconscious in fistful for the past while. It wouldn't surprise him to find something awful, something backward. Some part of him that actually liked it. What it was - he didn't want to remember, didn't want to think about to it - but what is was

Making Wolfram cry. He hated himself for making him cry. Not just that, but he also hated himself for not turning on his heels and rushing him in a hug, or calming him, or doing something other than just walking away. It was easier to walk away. That was all. Easier to leave him standing there, in tears, than marching back and facing his responsibilities, his mistakes, his love. It was horrific to recall. More so to realize how deep his mind really ran. How much he really…

"Yuuri?"

How sorry he really was. How badly he wanted to fix everything.

"Oi, wimp…"

How high his heart kicked whenever he called him that now.

"Where are we go-"

With a wild grin Yuuri pushed Wolfram into the pond, diving in head-first after him.

Today was the day he would start to be honest with himself, and with his fiancé. Today he would suck up his pride, his discomfort with his homosexuality, and try his absolute best to explain. To apologize. To ask.

They came out in his bathroom. Deciding this was an unacceptable location for his most recent idea, Yuuri dead-locked a grip on Wolfram's writs and brought him to his bedroom.

"Sorry," he said, pulling a clean towel from the rack on his coset, "I'm still no good at that." He began drying blond hair, staring at his work.

Wolfram blinked repeatedly at him, and swallowed hard when the Maoh finished and shut his bedroom door.

"Yuuri… why are we here?"

His voice didn't sound hopeful. Of course it wouldn't, Yuuri thought, I'm probably creeping him out. Well, he was creeping himself out with all of these new feelings - or discovered old feelings, whatever - so that made two of them.

He sat down on his bed. Wolfram made a move to sit with him, but Yuuri shook his head. "You need to be standing…"

"What?"

"Just… stand."

"This is foolish. Tell me what we're doing here."

"I will," he said into his lap, "Just give me a minute."

"I'm going through your things, then," Wolfram said, and walked to Yuuri's closet.

"What?"

"While you're thinking - I'm going to check to see if you cheat on me here, too."

"I don't cheat on you."

Wolfram laughed, a little darker, and pulled the closet doors open. "You always say that."

"Wolf." Yuuri watched his shoulders stiffen at the nickname. "Would, er, could you come back over here?"

"Why?" His shoulders relaxed again, and he turned quickly to his king. "What are you hiding?"

Yuuri shook his head. "Nothing." And whispered, "Come over here."

"No. I'm not falling for that face. You're cheating!" And he went back to the closet, determinedly throwing clothes onto the floor.

Yuuri coughed. This was turning out to be a lot more difficult than he'd thought. "I'm not…"

"Stop lying."

"I'm not."

"Wimp!"

"Wolfram, would you just come here?"

"No, I told you already."

"Well I have something to tell you, and you seem to find my closet more interesting!"

He'd said it too loud and too quickly and far too out of turn. But, it's what he'd been feeling, and that was a start.

"Yuuri…" Wolfram stared at him. Gawked. Was frozen in place, hands all over the Maoh's clothes.

"Here, now, or I'm coming over there," Yuuri said.

Those words seemed to be received with a jump; Wolfram's whole face went red. But he sniffed and spoke without a stutter, "I'm waiting."

"Brat," Yuuri said as he stood up. But he didn't really mind. This had been harder on Wolfram all along. Taking a few extra steps was nothing, no problem, Yuuri took them gladly.

But he didn't stop when he got to the blond. He'd meant to, but he found his whole body ignoring his brain. He wrapped two arms around Wolfram's waist and walked them into the closet, "I'm sorry - " he panted, completely unaware how badly he'd wanted something like this to happen, "I'm sorry, I can't - "

"Get off, get off, stop being so…"

"Wolf," Yuuri said against his lips, knowing this was the only chance he'd get to speak clearly, "I know it was an accident, but I'm glad we're, that we're en-engaged."

This time, when Wolfram tensed, Yuuri felt it. Felt it everywhere. "What, what are you saying? Are you feeling sick?"

"No," he pressed his forehead against the other's, "There's something we do on Earth, when two people… are, um… like us."

"Wha-" Wolfram started, but stopped. Yuuri pulled him in closer, finding it easier to speak when he could feel the blond instead of see him.

"I was thinking that, well, we're only really engaged back there…" Maybe 'easier' was a stretch. His head felt on fire. "And, I mean, it's against the law here for two guys to, you know…" Was he making a fool out of himself? "But that's not the point." He fumbled with something in his pocket. "On Earth, we give rings to the person we want to m-marry." He pulled the ring out, the nicest one he could buy with his part-time job and dualistic lifestyle. "If you want to, you say 'yes,' and you take it from me, okay?"

"You, you..." Wolfram's wide, hopeful eyes were lost on Yuuri, because the Maoh was still pressed against him, and even if he wasn't, he couldn't bring himself to look. "Okay."

"Alright so… Wolfram," He felt a rush of heat swell up in his stomach, and he shook as it gravitated down to his legs. Yuuri fell onto his knees, completely terrified. "Will you mar-r-ry me?"

There was not a beat or a pause or any hesitation. Wolfram came crashing down on the Maoh like a waterfall, grounding him into a warm hug on the floor. They were laying on the clothes Wolfram had torn out of his coset. Yuuri could hardly breathe, but it had nothing to do with the physical weight on his chest. One look at the possessive, grinning blond on his stomach was enough to compress his lungs.

"Yuuri!" Wolfram said, and took the ring from him, "Yes, yes, yes, I'll marry you!" Their faces were two inches apart.

The Maoh grabbed his fiancé's head and wanted to make it less than that, but Wolfram stopped him. Caution flared in his green eyes.

"Wait," he said, glaring, walls up, "Are you just being nice again? Or do you really - "

Yuuri cut him off, "I love you. Not like I love Conrad or Gwendel or Gunter or, or your mother." He ran his shaking fingers through blond hair, "I want to marry you. I love you." Wolfram still looked skeptical, and he had all the right in the world to be, Yuuri knew. So the king grinned shyly and added, "I want to have sex with you."

"Yuuri!"

"I'm trying to be honest!" Wolfram's face was red. He looked down at his king, who continued, "And I'm sorry for always… making you, um, sad, and stuff."

The blond quirked an eyebrow. "And stuff?"

"Yeah, and stuff," Yuuri finished with conviction, and pulled his fiancé into a long kiss.


'And stuff' = anything Yuuri did in the series that hurt Wolfram and made you want to slap the Maoh like a bitch.

Thanks for reading :)

Inso.

(Does anyone know wtf is going on with fictionpress? It's laaaame!)