Before I begin this story I want to give arrielle97 a special thank you for this idea. Go check out her stories as well she writes really good Post-Into Darkness stories.

-Knight

Spock

How illogical. How illogical that I feel this ache as I realize what he is doing. I realize that the Captain is

not thinking of his death. He is only thinking of the death that could happen to those around him. His crew.

His friends. His Family. Yes his family. Perhaps this is why my heart aches in such a painful and unfamiliar

way. To know this man's mind, heart, and soul like the back of my hand is like a weight.

Because now

I can feel myself

sinking

into darkness.

Uhura

None of us knew about why he was gone except Spock and I. They all thought it was reckless.

Maybe he was on one of his risky missions.

Maybe he had foolishly challenged Khan to a duel.

Maybe Spock had knocked him down from Captain because Kirk was too emotionally compromised.

But that thought was pierced with an arrow of truth when Spock arrived. No one else could see it through that damned mask.

They knew something was wrong, but no one dared ask.

But I could see it.

I could see the tears threatening to fall.

I could feel his muscles tense up when I embraced him.

And I could hear his heart break as I held him.

Bones

How the hell was I supposed to know.

How should I know about my best friend's death when everyone around me didn't find it too damn important.

Why the hell would that damn green blooded hobgobblin just dump my best friend on my examination table.

Then give me a brief explanation before fucking speedy Gonzalezing out of the damn medical wing.

I just stood there and stared at the body bag.

I slowly approached the table before looking peeling back the cove.

He looked so pale with his rugged scars and scratches standing out against his skin.

He was so white and peaceful looking he could be

An Angel.

My beloved best friend.

My Angel

As I looked closer I could see the ugly black scars remains of radiation poisoning.

My Fallen Angel.

Scotty

It is all my fault.

I should have stopped him.

I should have grabbed him and never let go.

I should have held on to him as tightly as he had held on to me during the transport.

I should have been the one to go into that glass case.

I should love the Enterprise so bloody much I'm ready to go down with her.

Of all the should's I should do one thing I will do is never forget the name

James Tiberius Kirk

Sulu and Chekov

As Chekov and I cheered as we veered the Enterprise away from the ocean.

As we smiled to our fellow crew members, it didn't quite meet our eyes.

It started slowly at first but then creeped through our souls with icy fingers.

We felt the whirlpool of emotion it caused us.

How could we cheer for a victory so broken beyond repair.

Sure, we saved ourselves.

So.

The Captain isn't alive.

Chekov will never smile again.

Scotty will blame himself for years.

Spock has lost everything in the span of a few months.

Uhuara will never get her boyfriend back completely.

Bones will drink until he kills himself.

I will have nightmares for months of blue eyes full of adventure.

And Kirk will never get to boldly go where no man has gone before…