"He's gone, john. You need to understand that."

Lestrade had came over to john's flat, to try and convince him to go outside. He had informed john it had been two weeks since sherlock's funural. Since then, john haddn't left once, - Ms. Hudson got his shopping so he didn't starve. Which was pointless because john barley even ate much anymore, anyway. He had let himself go since sherlocks death and people began to worry.

John wasn't even sure why lestrade was here. They haddn't been good friends before, and now he was acting like his therapist. Mycroft had also been over to visit. But he only came to apologise for what he had done. John would ignore him, - sorry wasn't going to bring his best friend back.

Mycroft haddn't said anything about sherlock when he visited, - he just wanted john to act more alive because 'it's not what sherlock would want'.. he had finally snapped saying, 'what do you care about sherlock anyway?' Mycroft had got up and left but not before he said, 'You meant more than anything to him, john. Just remember that..'

John blinked, bringing himself back to the flat. Lestrade was still drinking tea and staring at him.

"It's not fair." John finally said, which took lestrade by surprise. It was the first time in a while john had spoke to anyone. His voice was quiet.

"I know, john." Lestrade said, "But this isn't good for you.. You can't do this to yourself. He's gone."

"Stop saying that." John told him, looking down at his own untouched tea, "Just stop."

Lestrade looked down as well, then back up. He didn't know how to convince john to do anything he didn't want to do. He couldn't imagine the pain john was going through. But john was feeling more then pain.. - he felt abbandoned. Sherlock had died and left him alone. Alone is something john didn't like to feel, and sherlock knew that.

He had to have a reason for doing what he did.. John was sure of it. He just wished sherlock was here to tell what. Maybe he could find out himself. But Moriarity was dead, and mycroft insisted moriarity didn't tell him anything.

"Just come outside." Lestrade said, "You need the air."

"What would I do out there.." John asked, with a depressing voice he haddn't intented on using.

"You just need to get out." Lestrade told him, "What else would you do?"

John knew exactly what he would do. Shame he didn't have a gun on him, and ms. hudson had taken all the knives about a week and a half ago. The hole in his heart would never go away, nor would the pain, no matter what he did. He wanted sherlock.. needed sherlock. He was losing himself without him. John put his head into his hands and tried not to start crying again. He didn't want lestrade to see him cry, nor anderson who he just noticed was standing quietly be the door.

"And why are you here?" John asked.

Anderson didn't respond at first. He uncrossed is arms, sighed and put his hands in his pockets,

"I just came with Lestrade."

"Yeah." John said, "Because we all know you didn't like sherlock at all."

"True." Anderson said quietly, "But that doesn't mean I didn't respect him."

Those words surprised john. If anderson respected sherlock, he sure as hell didn't act like it when he was around. Lestrade shot anderson a look, and he looked down at the floor. Lestrade looked back over to john.

"You'd be surprised at who actually respected him."

"What about sally?"

Lestrade tried not to smile, "I didn't say everyone."

John sighed and looked to his right. Sherlock's violin was still sitting in it's spot, covered in dust. John haddn't touched it since his friends death, nor would he let anyone else touch it. He almost ripped off mycroft's hand.

"John." Lestrade said, "How about this. Come with us, and we'll let you see sherlock's things.."

This got john's attention, "Really?"

"Why not." Anderson said, "Not like he needs them anymore."

John forced himself not to get up and punch anderson in the face. He calmly ignored him and looked at lestrade.

"Yeah." He told john,

Two minutes later, they all walked out the door of the flat. The sky was cloudly, so there was no sudden beam of sun. Still, it hurt his eyes some. Lestrade brought out his keys, and started up the engine to his car. John smiled innocently at anderson who asked,

"What?"

John punched his square in the nose, which instantly became bloody. He watched as anderson staggered back, and when he regained his posture, didn't even say anything remotley rude to john.

"I guess I deserved that." Anderson said

"You did, yeah."

Lestrade told them both to get in the car, not even asking about what happened to anderson when he got in passenger. John put his hand on the handle, but looked up and froze. There was someone at the end of the block, standing there watching. He was wearing a trench coat, black pants, plack shoes and for a second john almost thought it was.. No. He blinked hard, and when he looked back again, he was gone.

Just your mind playing tricks. John told himself, Just your mind playing tricks. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and got in the car.

/

(Does it suck? I wouldn't be surprised. Anyway.. Yeah.. It's my first johnlock story and i'm sorry if It wasn't good. But I'm going to continue anyway, because i'm a boss.)