Hey! Thanks for checking out my story. Ally Carter owns all. And that disclaims the entire story because I am way too lazy to do this every chapter. Heads up: I may use swears, but probably will never do anything graphic... so BEWARE !
This is set after Cammie returns in the fifth book. Enjoy
Sometimes I wonder what would have been different had I agreed to Zach's proposition. Would I remember my summer? I think I would. We could have kept each other safe. We should have. But I messed it up. I messed everything up and screwed everyone over too may times to count. What I did was unforgivable, the fact that I can't even explain myself is worse. I betrayed everyone I cared about. What's scary is that I have no doubt someone else will betray me.
I sighed as I got up from my bed. I had enough of just sitting there in a tense room. I felt as if I was suffocating. No one had spoken to me yet. I don't blame them. I was a bad friend. Worst of all, I was a bad spy. Somewhere along my journey I had gotten caught. I had been careless. My head bowed slightly and I stared at the hard wood floor as I made my way across our dorm. An outreached arm caught me by surprise and I stopped dead in my tracks. I looked up to meet the eyes of a furious Baxter.
"What?" I asked, annoyed and feeling out of place. Her eyes were full of fury.
"Are you bloody serious?! What do you mean, 'What'? Where the hell do you think you are going." Bex exclaimed in my face. She looked at me in disgust. "You know what, whatever. I don't care anymore. I don't want to have to babysit you all the time to make sure you don't get yourself killed. I could care less about you." She dropped her arm lightly by her side, but her words slapped me in the face. I looked up towards Liz and Macey but they were looking everywhere but me. I continued my way out the door trying my hardest not to cry. I could not show that her words hurt me. I could not show that the fact no one had yet to even ask me if I was okay hurt me beyond belief.
I walked about 100 yards and down a flight of stairs until I reached my favorite passageway. Only to find it blocked. I guess I wasn't the only one to change while I was gone.
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I sat down at the senior table in the dining hall just a bit late. Zach had taken my seat, but he was no where to be found. I left his seat open as I sat at the end of the table, as far away from Bex, Macey, and Liz as possible. Unfortunately, that meant I was sitting near Tina and Courtney. I picked at my food as the girls, and eventually Zach when he showed up, talked loudly and cheerfully. They were all oblivious towards my presence. At least until Tina started talking.
"So Cammie, tell me why you ran away again?" Tina asked, and the entire table and the junior table went silent, curious to see what was about to go down. I remained silent.
"Were you trying to prove a point?" she prodded.
"What do you mean?" I said.
"Cammie, I bet you thought you were better than all of us. Huh? Is that why you left? Or were you afraid?" She continued on and on as I just sat there looking at my plate. She continued to taunt me music was getting louder.
" You aren't a very good spy to get caught Cammie. It's pathetic to see you acting like something bad, other than you getting embarrassed, happened." She wouldn't shut up would she? I sensed the entire dining hall go deathly silent. My brain hurt. I had a pounding in my head that refused to go away. The music was becoming deafening. I started to lightly hum the circus tune that had been in my head since the day I woke up in the Alps.
She kept saying those things. Over and over and over. I heard someone laugh. I briefly looked up only to see it was Bex clutching a hand over her mouth, suppressing giggles. She leaned over to Macey and said,
"Karma's a bitch." She giggled.
And the world stopped. I felt as if I was on auto pilot as I stood up and walked quickly out the door. I had nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. I walked over towards the teachers lounge and slid my back against the wall until I was sitting fully down. I had to clamp a hand over my mouth to keep from being loud as sobs racked through my body. The music wasn't stopping. It was there. I was afraid it would always be there. Etched into my mind for some unknown reason.
I don't know how long I sat there. Eventually someone found me. I was pulled into their room quickly and not so gently. My eyes darted upward to meet Abby's. She looked at me with sorrow and fear. After what seemed like an eternity of her examining my face, she engulfed me into her arms as I cried like a child. She told me everything would work out. That it's good that I didn't remember. Eventually, after I was all dried up from the tears, I rose and walked to my dorm with a tear stained face.
As I entered the room, I felt everyone look up at me and wait as if they were expecting an explanation. I looked at each of them before laying down and closing my eyes. Before I knew it, I had drifted off into sleep.
Okay, I know that was probably bad. Please review! I am open to criticism as long as it isn't really mean. Thanks for the support. All it takes is typing a word and hitting that button! I will try to update as soon as possible.
