It had been five months since he'd left her alone in Israel. Five months since she'd heard his voice or felt his touch, or sensed that wonderful comfort that washed over her when he was around.

She'd taken to cleaning out all of her father's properties, or at least the ones he'd listed in his estate. They'd already been thoroughly searched by Mossad, but the majority of the personal belongings had been left behind. Cleaning the homes was bittersweet, some places holding better memories than others. She'd lost herself in the memories of her life before NCIS, before the team, before she'd created a new home for herself. Despite delving into her past every day, the ache she felt for her family, for her soulmate, had not faded.

She sat at the bottom of her childhood closet, sorting through the things she'd hidden away in her earliest years, soft rock playing in the background. She smiled as she caught sight of her favorite doll, tucked away in the corner. As she stroked the cheek of the little doll, memories swirling all around, the strains of a song caught her attention

I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one if you want me to
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something I'm giving up on you

Her heartbeat quickened as she listened to the song go on, and sadness started to settle in her chest. Tony played in her mind over and over. Searching for her, fighting for her, and still she pushed him away. They'd shared everything, the most intimate relationship she'd ever been in, and she'd let him go. Tears trickled down her face as she realized what her actions could mean.

You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye

She watched him turn away, his last words to her ringing in her ears. She'd forced him to leave, and he'd left. That was it. She'd given him her necklace, the piece of her she swore she would never part with again. She'd hoped he'd know what it meant. But what if he didn't? What if he thought she was gone for good, or that she didn't want him, or that she didn't love him?

Say something I'm giving up on you
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
And anywhere I would've followed you
Say something I'm giving up on you

The tears picked up as the song faded away, fear coursing through her veins.

She picked up the phone and dialed from memory, not thinking of anything but hearing his voice.

Tony's sound sleep was broken by the shrill ringing of his cell phone. He rolled over sluggishly, glancing at the alarm clock on his nightstand. 4:30 AM. He groaned and grabbed his phone blindly, not bothering to check the caller id.

"D'nuzzo" he mumbled.

He actually answered. She hadn't thought this through. She told herself she wouldn't call him. She told herself that she had to do this on her own. She told herself she wouldn't bother him until she was ready to be what he deserved. She sniffed, hoping he couldn't hear it over the line.

His sleep addled brain registered the sniff after a few seconds, waking him up a bit more. He sat up trying to shake alertness into his body.

"Hello?"

She stayed silent. Her words were caught in her throat, choking her. His voice was overwhelming after months of no contact. More tears poured out, and she tried to quiet her gasping breaths.

He decided to make a leap. "Ziva?"

Of course he knew it was her. He always knew her better than she knew herself. She let out a sob, her emotions breaking through.

Bingo, he thought.

"Ziva, what's wrong?" he asked, trying to squash down the panic forming in his chest.

She couldn't do it. Oh god. She shouldn't have called. She took a shaky breath, trying to suppress her tears and her trembling chin long enough to speak, "I'm sorry," she pressed out.

"Whatever you're sorry about, I promise it's okay," he said, not quite sure where she was going.

"I should not have called," she said, taking another deep, calming breath.

"But you did. So why don't you tell me what's bothering you?"

She sniffed once again, her emotions flooding her, the song playing over and over in her mind.

"Don't give up on me," she gasped. "Please do not give up on me."

"Oh Ziva," he whispered.

"I do not know if I could handle it if I came home and you…" she broke off. "I know it is selfish of me and I should not ask you to wait for me. But please. Please do not give up on me." She sniffed once more, wiping away her tears. Tony could only think of how much he wanted to be with her, kissing them away.

"Ziva," he said gently, hoping to draw her attention from her grief, "I don't think I could give you up if I tried."

"Really?"

"I've thought about you every single day since I left you," He took a deep breath, because though he said the words, she'd never have any idea how much. "I wanted to give you some time to sort things out. But I never wanted to let you go."

"I did not want to let you go either," she said, relief flowing through her knowing that he missed her too. "I am sorry I made you leave."

"I know."

"You wanted to fight for me, and I should have let you."

"I haven't stopped. And I won't, as long as I know you want to come home to me."

"I'm not ready yet," she said, voice filled with sadness and regret.

"I know. And that's okay. But when you are…just come home."

"I will, I promise. I have never wanted anything more," she admitted quietly.

"Can you promise me one more thing?" he asked, an ease in his voice that hadn't been present before.

"Yes," she said, knowing she would agree to anything he asked.

"Can you just…call more? It's damn good to hear your voice."

"Of course," she said with a nod.

They sat in a few seconds of silence, neither sure what could appropriately

"We're gonna get through this." he said, voice solid and firm.

"I know."

Say something