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On the third floor of Japan's prestigious Ouran High School, where only the richest and most prominent students study, one would find Music Room 3 at the end of a long hall with walls painted pink and gold. Behind its ivory white doors: a gentle gust of rose petals, followed by the warm faces of seven quirky but lovable teens who are ready to serve and entertain you:

Tamaki Suou- the ring leader; a hopeless romantic who's ready to sweep you off your feet.

Kyoya Ootori- Tamaki's right hand man and self-appointed accountant of the group. Beware his cold stare.

Takashi "Mori" Morinozuka- the strong, silent type, devoted to his cousin.

Mitskuni "Hunny" Haninozuka- the youthful senior with a sweet tooth, and Mori's cousin.

The brothers Hatachiin, Hikaru and Kaoru- impish pranksters with an infamous "double act."

And Haruhi Fujioka- a kind and patient young man...who's really a girl in disguise.

Welcome to the Ouran High School Host Club.

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"IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES, UNTIL..."

Snodin

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Their day started out like every other, except today was Pirate Day. Each of the host club members was dressed in elaborate costumes reminiscent of the Victorian era with the added flair of feathered hats, several belt buckles, eye patches and swords. Tamaki in royal blue hammed it up with an added hook hand and speaking in jargon that even he didn't fully understand: "Avast, me hearties! I, Captain Tamaki, have searched the seven seas for the rarest treasures in the world, and here I have found it, in your lovely eyes." As he said this, he took to a knee in front of his yellow dressed client, who blushed as she took his fake hook into her hand.

"Oh, Tamaki," she swooned. "You've stolen my heart."

"Argh! That I did, though it cost me an arm and a leg you see." He feigned a limp, allowing the peg attached to his knee touch ground to make it seem like he was walking on it. "I would crawl on hands and knees through Davy Jones' locker to be with you, my dear." He kissed her hand, making her blush furiously.

On the sofa nearby was Haruhi in a similar purple colored costume. She didn't bother with any accessories, as they proved to be uncomfortable. She watched her Sempai with a slightly jealous eye. "Where the heck does he come up with these themes?" She mused to herself softly.

Hearing her in his little corner, scribbling in his black book, was Kyoya dressed in nothing more than a white blouse, red sash and tight black jeans with high boots. "You have to admit it, he's really good at getting into character," he replied. "Though," he added, "I'd say it's only a matter of time before the Drama department starts to wonder where all their costumes have gone."

Her eyes narrowed slyly. "Ah, so that's how you keep a low budget."

"We do what we can to keep him happy," he grinned.

"Save me, ladies!" shouted Hunny dressed in gold and white as he ran by while flailing his arms as though he were swimming. "Save me from the big bad shark!"

The "shark" was Mori, the only Host dressed as a fish instead of a pirate; he slithered across the room in pursuit of his cousin. After him ran three female clients cheering, "We'll save you, Hunny!"

Haruhi dead panned, "He's not the only one hamming it up."

It was around this time that a young man in the normal Ouran blue blazer came creeping in. He nervously glanced left and right and saw that no one noticed his entrance. Which was good, because he was far too shy to speak up. He didn't look particularly special, just a generically black-haired teen with light skin and dark round eyes. His hair was short but his bangs protruded out only slightly. The only thing about him that stuck out were his large round glasses that hid bright blue eyes underneath. Clearly he had heard of the Host Club but only now did he have the courage to investigate it. But just when he seemed to have gotten in Scott free, he heard Kyoya blurt out, "Ah! We seem to have a new guest."

The boy flinched as his eyes met Kyoya's. "Jun Sazuka, first year student. Am I correct?"

"Um, y-yes. How did you know that?"

"As Vice President of the club, I make it my business to know everyone at this school. What brings you here?"

Suddenly, the boy caught the attention of Haruhi, Tamaki, Mori and Hunny. He started to shudder. "I... I, uh, I heard about this club and I was just curious..."

"Shiver me timbers!" Cried out the Host King, who pranced his way toward the boy. "Greetings, young lad! Have he come to join me crew, or shall I have ya walk da plank? ...Psst! Haruhi, that's your cue."

"Oh, sorry. Ahem." She reluctantly put a green parrot puppet on her right hand and squawked, "'Arp! Walk da plank, walk da plank!'" God, this is stupid, she thought to herself.

"Yah!" jumped Jun. "N-no, I don't wanna walk the plank! I can barely swim!"

"Hee hee hee, don't worry," Tamaki assured him, "It's all in good fun. May I get you anything, mister...?"

"Just call me Jun."

"June, I like it! Reminds me of the month. Can I interest you in some Commoner's coffee?"

"Um, what?"

"'Arp! Commoner's coffee! Commoner's coffee!'" That wasn't scripted.

"It's the most amazing stuff, all you have to do is add hot water to grounded up coffee beans, and bam! Instant coffee! It's delicious!"

"'Arp! Delicious and nutriti'-GAH!" Haruhi threw the puppet down before she got too carried away.

"I'll, Uh, just have tea. Thank you."

"Right then! Haruhi, would you do the honors? I've got some treasure to collect over yonder." With that, Tamaki hopped away, still feigning a pegged leg.

"I'm surprised he didn't say 'booty,'" muttered Haruhi as her client sat beside her. "Still, that's Sempai for you I guess." Being the good sport that she was, the lady in men's clothing poured a fresh cup of tea for her guest and began to make small talk. "So, how did you first hear about this club?"

"Well," said a calmer Jun, "I have a lot of girls in my math class who can't stop talking about this place. They say it's a great way to relax and get your mind off of studies, and all the Hosts are really nice."

"Yeah," smiled Haruhi warmly. "We try to make everyone happy, even though we look pretty ridiculous sometimes."

"I don't mind the costumes, if that's what you mean." He sipped his tea. "So, are you a first year too?"

"I'm coming into my second year. First year was kind of rough, trying to adjust to everything- especially these weirdos. But once you get used to them..." She was cut off by the sound of laughter coming from the far end of the room. Both she and Jun glanced to their right toward the large window.

There, in their usual spot by the window, were the infamous Hatachiin twins, each dressed in red velvet jackets and belt straps across their chests, donning black hats with matching red feathers. The one on the left, Hikaru, was running his fingers along the sides of the one on the right, Kaoru. Poor Kaoru was doubling over, trying desperately not to laugh too hard as his twin continued to hit all of the sweet spots.

"See, ladies?" chirped Hikaru to the eight female guests at their table. "I told you he was ticklish... Especially behind the ears." As he seized the back of his brother's lobes, Kaoru couldn't help but let out a high-pitched squeal. "AH! Stop it, stop it I beg you," he laughed hysterically, tears flowing from his eyes.

The girls swooned and cooed, until finally Hikaru asked, "Who wants to tickle Kaoru?" Immediately, they all jumped to their feet with their hands in the air. "ME! ME! I WANT TO! I WANNA DO IT!"

"HEY! I mean, ARGH!" shouted a furious Tamaki as he swooped in. "You know the rules: no touchy-feely with the guests! You can touch each other all you want, but keep it civil or it's The Locker for you."

Defeated, the brothers frowned in unison, "Sorry, boss."

"Awwww," lamented the girls in disappointment.

Kyoya checked his watch. "It's nearly five o'clock, we should start wrapping up anyway."

Tamaki smiled to his guests, "Yes, of course. Thank you, everyone, for coming over. Tomorrow is Saturday, so we'll be at the local park for some badminton and afternoon treats."

"Yay!" cheered the girls.

The club members rose to their feet to bid their guests farewell; "Bye, thanks for coming," they each said graciously.

"Bye, ladies," sang the twins in unison, also waving their hands in perfect unison. But no sooner than the last girl closed the door behind her that Kaoru dropped his smile and gave his twin a swift elbow jerk to his side. "Warn me next time you're gonna do that!"

"Oof!" deflated Hikaru. He grasped his ribs and groaned, "Hey, I thought you liked being tickled."

"I do," Kaoru grimaced, "but not in front of so many people! Are you trying to humiliate me?"

"Uh, guys?" peeped Haruhi. "We still have one more guest."

"Hmm?" hummed the twins as they and the others looked to see that a boy was in their midst. "Who's this guy?" Asked Hikaru in a slightly rude tone.

"Oh, um, I'm sorry," muttered the shy boy as he rose from the sofa. "M-my name is Jun Sazuka, I'm a first year. You two must be the Hitachiin twins."

"Oh, of course. Where are my manners?" Tamaki chimed in. "June, meet the twins: Hikaru and Kaoru." He pointed left to right.

"Wrong, boss."

"Sorry. Kaoru and Hikaru." He pointed right to left.

"Wrong again."

Tamaki flinched with embarrassment.

"Let us handle this." The redhead on the right approached the newcomer with a welcoming smile and an extended hand. "I'm Hikaru, that one over there is Kaoru."

"Hello," his twin waved with a warm smile.

The boy took Hikaru's hand and shook it firmly. "It is such an honor to meet you two in person. The girls in my class can't stop talking about you."

"Well!" blushed Hikaru slightly, as did Kaoru. "We didn't realize just how popular we were around here."

"Word travels fast," his twin added.

As the Hitachiin's hand lingered in his grasp, the newcomer's cheeks started to warm to a soft pink hue. "Is it true, what they say about you two? I mean, are you really... (gulp!) ...close?"

"As close as brothers can be," said an honest Hikaru, whose tone swiftly turned devilish with, "but for the ladies we like to get a little closer."

"Yeah," grinned Kaoru as he surprised his brother with am arm around his waist. "I tend to be the jealous type; nobody's allowed near Hikaru, except me." His devilish golden eyes met his twin's, and the game was on.

"Easy Kaoru," said Hikaru in his trademark impish tone. "There's plenty of me to go around."

"Don't say that, I want you all to myself!"

(Jun shuddered, his face now beet red.)

"Geez, take it easy brother! I was only teasing. You know nobody can love me the way you do. You're just so passionate, so smoldering. It's crazy...but I like it."

(His glasses began to fog.)

"Hikaru," he purred breathlessly as he leaned in.

"Oh, say it again. I love how you say my name."

"Hikaru!"

(He started to sweat, steam reeling from his glasses.)

"Louder! I want them to hear it from Music Room 1!"

"HIKA-"

TWEEEEEEET! Went a referee whistle.

"Alright, that's enough!" shouted Tamaki who was now suddenly dressed as a referee. "Do you two want a time out?"

"Now that you mention it," grinned Hikaru, "I do have the urge to hit the showers."

"So do I," whispered Jun as a small bead of drool trickled from the corner of his mouth. Thankfully, no one heard him.

"Okay, show's over!" Tamaki announced. "It's late, and we've got big plans for tomorrow. Get plenty of rest, you guys."

"C-can I come to your event too?" asked the shy boy in the room.

Graciously, the Host King relied, "Of course you can! This club wasn't made just for the ladies- though we have to admit, we get plenty of them- we welcome all students who want to have fun!"

"Just as long as we keep to the budget," muttered Kyoya nearby.

"That's great," cheered Jun sheepishly. "You give me the time and area, and I'll be there."

"Excellent! Badminton starts at noon sharp by the big fountain. Sign ups start at ten, so get there early."

"I will! Thank you, thank you so much!"

"Well," smiled Hikaru as he and his twin started for the door, "we'll see you there, Sakuza."

"We'll try to go easy on you," smirked Kaoru as his shoulder brushed the freshman's as he passed him. "But we won't make any promises."

As the newcomer watched the Hitachiin's make their exit, he breathed deeply, releasing all of the tension in his body. He slumped forward slightly, cheeks still inflamed. "I just have one small request," he muttered softly.

"Oh? What's that?" Tamaki wondered.

He glanced over to the host King with a wiry smile and hearts reflecting from his glasses. "I want those two to be my Hosts."

In that instant, a light bulb went off in Haruhi's head, and her eyes widened with worry. "Oh, no."

Oh, yes.

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TBC