I don't own stuff

Chapter 1 – If only you knew

Harry sat in the Gryffindor common room and stared blankly into the fire. He couldn't remember a time when he had felt any worse. The pressure of being the only person who could truly face Voldemort was building up, and no one knew how he felt. Ron said what he could to help, but it was little comfort considering what he was facing. And then there was Hermione. He loved her more than he could express in any way, but she couldn't know. If they got together, it would only give her more pain when he died. It drove him insane, feeling what he did and knowing he couldn't take it anywhere. He couldn't tell Ron either, because he was sure that Ron felt the same about her. Harry knew he shouldn't be thinking of what he was, that suicide wasn't the answer, but he couldn't help it. Ron had caught him in the dormitory running his thumb down a beautifully crafted blade. He still had it, locked away in his trunk. It was very thin, less than a millimetre, and shined brightly when trapped under the light. It had a dragon chipped into the side, a Norwegian Ridgeback in fact. It looked magnificent, breathing flame right down the length of the knife. Harry smiled grimly. Apparently the dragon that the craftsman had used to copy that carving was an 'old friend', Hagrids no longer baby dragon, Norbert, that he had bought in their first year. Ron walked into the common room, Hermione at his heels. They had been doing prefect duties, and that left Harry with plenty of time to think. He looked up as they entered, and as soon as he saw Hermione, looked back down quickly, with pain written all over his face.

"Hey Harry," Ron said. Harry greeted him with a mumble and didn't look at either of them.

Hermione sat across from him and looked at him in a concerned manner. "Harry, are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, fine. Nothing wrong whatsoever. Why do you ask?"

"You look… sad. I'm worried."

"Well don't be."

"But I am Harry. You're always quiet and distant nowadays. It's not like you."

Ron gave Harry a glance but said nothing. Harry met his eyes and sent a look intended to say leave it. Ron nodded and Harry replied to Hermione, once again not looking at her.

"Really Hermione there's nothing wrong with me. Obviously I've got things on my mind, but nothing important." Oh, Hermione, if only you knew what I meant by that…

She frowned, but only said "well alright. I'm going to bed. Night."

Goodnight," called Ron.

Sweet dreams, thought Harry.

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There she was, walking towards him, the light shining behind her making her look like an angel. He watched in wonder, her lips forming the words "I love you." Suddenly the light behind her changed to green, her eyes widened, and she fell forwards without a sound. There he was behind where she had stood, cackling and throwing her body around like a rag.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Harry sat up so fast he hit his head on the top of his four-poster. Panting hard, he checked to see if he'd woken anyone else. Though he noticed Ron's eyes weren't quite shut, no one else was awake and he said nothing. Instead he got up, walked over to the water jug and took a large drink. Then he sat and stared out the window. Why did he have these nightmares? He couldn't stand them, seeing Hermione die every night. He also hated them because they reminded him that he could never have her. They showed him that if he did, Voldemort and his Death Eaters would kill her. He hadn't even told Ron about these dreams, and he wasn't planning on it anytime soon. He sighed and went back to bed.

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Ron got up early and went to the Great Hall. He sat pondering over a bowl of porridge. He was unnerved by Harry lately. Every night since the start of term Harry had woken screaming. Ron pretended to be asleep every time, but he was getting very worried. He was loyal enough to Harry to not tell Hermione, but he was starting to think he had to do something. He sat formulating possible plans until they came into the hall.

"Hey guys. What's up?"

"Morning Ron," replied Harry.

"Nothing much," added Hermione. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, just thinking about something."

Harry looked up at this, but had already continued. "Can you believe it? SNAPE is taking our Divination class! Snape of all people!"

Great, thought Harry, looking back down at his porridge. Just what I need. In Trelawney's class it was fairly relaxed, I could jump out the window she'll say it was just fate catching up with me. It'll be much worse with Snape around, even if he isn't predicting my death every ten seconds. If I leave my seat I'll be given detention. "What else have we got today? I've lost my timetable."

Ron reached for his bag, but Hermione already had hers. "Well we've got Transfiguration, Potions, then you two go to Divination while I'm at Ancient Runes, then we finish with Charms."

Harry sighed. "Joyous."

"Could be worse," replied Hermione half-heartedly. "Come on we'd better go, we've only got five minutes."

"Not without my bacon!" said Ron, and they left the table, Ron still stuffing his breakfast into his mouth.