The Graduate

Reid stormed up to Hotch's office, determined and fierce, but when he stood in front of the door he raised his fist only slowly and reluctantly. He stood there a few seconds, unsure whether he should knock or not. Eventually he decided against it and turned around with hanging shoulders. He was about to move away again when he heard his bosses voice, „Come in!"

The young agent winced but did as he had been told. He opened the door, stood in the doorway for a second or two, before taking a few small steps inside and closing the door behind him.

„What is it?", Hotch asked, looking up from the files in front of him.

„I wanted to, uh, talk to you, um...", Reid took a deep breath and leaned against the office door. „About us", he breathed and bowed his head.

„What about us?", the older man inquired seemingly impassive, but he closed the file he had been working on, put his pen down and stood up from his desk.

„What we do after work. I mean, what we have been doing after work since I started working here...", Reid stopped talking when he felt Hotch enter his personal space.

„Yes?", Hotch continued approaching him and the younger man's breath hitched when a hand touched his side. He closed his eyes but they snapped open again when he heard a key being turned in the lock behind him. Reid felt the blood rush to his cheeks when he realized that Hotch had just come so close to him in order to lock the door. He coughed slightly and moved toward the couch but did not sit down yet.

„Take a seat", Aaron Hotchner offered but Reid blurted, „I used to spend my time with books" at the same time.

The black-aired agent frowned and Spencer went on, „I used to like books. Now I like my boss. It... it's wrong. You made me... you perverted me!"

For a moment Hotch looked shocked, but he compostured himself within a split second.

„Is that the way you see it? Me perverting you?", he asked, not a single emotion readable neither on his face nor in his voice.

When Reid did not answer, he continued, „I get that I seduced you. But do you honestly think this... us... is a perversion?" His subordinate still remained silent, so Hotch added: „If you really believe that, I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I thought you're enjoying it as well, I thought you..."

Finally Reid responded and interrupted Hotch „I look forward to it. In fact it's the only thing I look forward to"

Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose and sat down on one of the chairs in the middle of his office. „So what exactly are you complaining about?", he said after a while.

Reid started pacing the room. „Hotch, I just quoted The Graduate. Can't you see where this is going?"

„What? You think of me as Mrs. Robinson?", Hotch looked up at him, unsure whether to be amused or offended.

The younger agent stopped his nervous movements immediately. „What? No!", he exclaimed.

„What do you mean, 'where this is going'? You want to end up with Jack?"

„God no, Hotch. I am serious", Reid sighed and sat down on the couch.

Hotched turned his chair so that he was face to face with Reid. „So am I"

Spencer looked at his boss and then let his gaze drift to the floor. Almost inaudibly quiet, he said, „No, I don't want your son. I want you"

„Then what is the problem?", Hotch asked and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

„It doesn't mean anything", Reid answered.

This time the look of shock stayed on Hotch's face. „Excuse me?"

„It doesn't mean anything... to you. We could as well be shaking hands", Spencer tucked a strand of hair behind his ear.

Hotch's voice grew louder. „Will you stop with The Graduate already?"

„It's true. You never talk to me before or after... You treat me like some toy. That is the expression, isn't it? Boy toy", Reid bit his lower lip.

„You're not my boy toy", Hotch's expression turned into one of hurt. „And I don't talk to you when we're in bed because that way I can pretend it's strictly physical"

„It is", Spencer's voice sounded irritated and Hotch's eyes started to moisten. He blinked a couple of times and had to stand up. Reid looked confused but also a bit hopeful, „Isn't it?"

„Why do you think I'm doing this with you?", Hotch asked with his back to Reid.

„I don't know. I don't even know how many people you're doing it with", the younger man replied.

„Just you", Hotch said.

Reid snorted. „And your wife", he argued.

„No. The last time Haley and I slept with each other was the night we created Jack. And before that..."

„You were already sleeping with me", Reid cut him short again.

„Before that", Hotch continued, „We hadn't done it in years. Having a child was the last attempt to save our marriage and as wrong as it sounds, I am glad we did it. I love Jack more than anything and I'm not gonna leave Haley because I don't want to leave him"

Reid sighed and when he spoke again his voice was soft. „I know that and I think it's great. Sometimes I wish my parents had stayed together for me even if they were unhappy with each other. It sounds so selfish but it's how I feel. So I really support what you are doing for Jack"

„So you're not asking me to divorce Haley?", Hotch turned around and saw Reid's eyes widen in surprise.

„Uh, no! I'd never do that", Spencer shook his head. „I just wanted to know what this is to you. Us. Because I thought I knew but I guess I don't. I told you this is the very first time I'm doing something like..."

It was Hotch's turn now to interrupt Reid. „Why do you think I'm doing this with you?", he repeated his question from earlier.

„Well, maybe because I was new to the team and unsure and you knew I would do anything you asked me to. No no no, that sounds like sexual harrassment and believe me, I don't think that was your intention. Okay, maybe you 'chose' me because you profiled me and knew about my low self-esteem, my need to belong and..." Hotch halted Reid's rant by holding up a hand.

„Reid, stop!", Hotch took a deep breath. „I am sorry if I made you feel that way. Feel free to press charges against me. I understand if you wish for me to transfer..."

„What? Hotch! I'm sorry if my words insulted you but you asked me and frankly I have no idea why you would decide to have an affair with me when you could do so much better", Spencer initiated eye contact with Hotch for the very first time that day.

„It was no decision", Hotch admitted, „I did not select anyone with whom to cheat on Haley. I never wanted to do that, I never wanted to be unfaithful. But you joined the team and you were so different from anybody I had met in my entire life and there aren't even words that suffice to describe you. Working with you, talking to you, any way of spending time with you made me feel young again, made me feel alive. It showed me that there was more to life than that comfortable numb I was used to", Hotch stopped to catch his breath.

Reid looked at him, mouth agape.

„What I'm saying is that I have been sleeping with you because I am in love with you"

Reid stood up.

„I am sorry if that was not what you wanted to hear", Hotch apologized and looked down at the floor.

„Are you kidding me?", Spencer laughed, „That's exactly what I wanted to hear", he said and flung his arms around Hotch. The older man closed his arms around Reid and relaxed against him. Reid pulled his head from Hotch's shoulder in order to kiss the man. „Because I am in love with you too", he said afterwards and Hotch smiled.