You're giving Me Such Sweet Nothings

Balz/Ghost

Should I use My heart or My Head?

"Hey, all earth to Devin." Chris waved his hand in front of my face, disturbing me as I starred at my best friend/crush Josh. Who was currently talking to his girlfriend Audrey. I mean they were a cute and all, but damn, I was so jealous. Jealous at the fact she gets to hold him, kiss him, talk to him, and maybe other things that they do that I don't want to know. She wasn't a bad person to be honest; she is pretty chill and beautiful.

Her crimson wavy hair looked great with her medium brown skin tone, slim dark chocolate eyes; she was wearing a lavender tube top that had floral designs on the top, black skinnies and white flats. Though to me, it seemed as if she really wasn't his type of girl. Josh was the one who always wore band t-shirts, black skinny jeans, is long dark brown straight hair was put into a ponytail to keep his bangs out from his face thought it did looked good with his beige complexion, angel bites and damn did his lips look good enough to kiss.

"Huh, ugh!" I elbowed him in the chest, "It's Ghost you should know that."

"Hehe, I know. I was just fucking with you since you were starring at Balz for like the 100th time today." Chris nudged my shoulder and I rolled my eyes, twirling my hair with my finger. I starred at my food, which looked awfully disgusting. This chicken Alfredo look like cat shit, no lie.

"Yeah man, how long have you liked Josh?" Ryan asked, leaning on the table with his elbow.

"Since we were in 7th grade." I mumbled.

"Wow, we're in 10th and you're still not over him?" Ricky yelled loud enough, causing Balz to turn around. I glared at Ricky then my eyes went to Balz. He gave me a nod and grin; I did the same in return, feeling my cheek blush.
"You're red now." Chris poked my cheek and I back-handed him. Ricky and Ryan laughed and Chris rubbed his cheek as he flicked them off.

"I really do like him, but I'm gonna have to keep it from him. I know he's my best friend, but I don't want to ruin our friendship by saying that I'm in love with him and I demand him to break up with her. That'll make me look like a desperate person and he'll probably run away from me." I explained, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Oh come, I'm pretty sure he won't have a problem with you liking him. Hell, I'm straight but I have to say he is an attractive person." Angelo pointed out, laying his head down on the table.

"Everyone finds him attractive Ange. You know how many girls, and guys," Ryan's eyes went to me and I rolled my eyes at him, sighing, "want to be with him?"
"A shit ton." Chris nodded.

"Yea, but still. I just want to keep a secret from him." Once I said that I got disappointing sighs and Ricky threw his arms in the air.

"Oh shut up Ricky, you were the one who stalked Ryan for months until you two finally went out!" I pointed out. Ricky smirked and leaned across the table.

"Yea, because he was hiding his feelings for me until we both admitted it to each other." He sat back down; Ryan leaned on his shoulder and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. Ricky's eyes went to mine and he winked as he pulled his boyfriend into a deep kiss.

"Fuck you." I snarled at him.

"Hey guys what's up?" I heard a low voice from behind me and I turned to find Josh there. There was no sign of Audrey at all, wonder where she went.

"Hey Josh!" the others yelled. I couldn't help but to stare at his hazel gray eyes and be lost in them. I saw a small smirk on his face as he starred at me. My eyes shot open and I looked away.

"What's wrong Ghost?" Balz asked sitting to the right of me, placing his hand on my shoulder. I slowly looked to see that he face was filled with concern. I shook my head and told him that I was tired and wanted to go home.

"You sure, seems like something has been bothering you lately, what is it?" he pulled me into a hug and I completely felt my cheeks turn hot. The other guys 'ohhh'ed loudly and I softly pushed Balz away and slapped Chris who started it all.

"I'm just tired that's all, really."
"Hm, ok. But if you need anyone to talk to," he reached for my hand and held it, "I'm right here for you." He stared into my eyes for a long time, I saw a small shade of pink on his cheeks and he looked away quickly.

"Ok, th-thanks." I stuttered. Balz grinned as he played with hair and got up. I saw Audrey come and rush over to him, he lifted her up and spun around a couple times and they kissed. Envy shot through my body and I looked away. My eyes met Ricky's and he sighed. The bell rang and I watched the two walk off, holding hands. I soon got up and grabbed my things, before I stormed off Chris tugged on my arm.

"Want me to walk with you?" he offered. I shook my head and told him thanks and I'll be fine. He nodded, giving me a weak smile and let loose of me. I walked to my 5th period, as I soon as I did I saw them embracing each other. My eyes caught Balz's and he looked down at Juliet who buried her face into his chest then gave me a weak smile. I did the same in return and continued on. I wonder what that was for, guess I'll never know.

During algebra, I really didn't pay attention since my thoughts were about Balz's. Oh how I just wanted him. When he held my hand, I wanted him to hold me, just like the way he did earlier. But when she was holding him, it seemed as if he was getting bothered by her. Damn, just thinking of him just really brought me joy.

In the middle of class I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I slowly reached inside, my eyes watching and waiting for the teacher to turn to the board again. Once she did, I got a message from Balz. I hesitated to read it at first but I had no time to waste since I'm in class.

I opened the message and carefully read, lifting my head a couple times to check up on the teacher.

Balz: hey there's band practice today. At Chris's, at 6. Let us know if you can make it or not.

I smiled as I read his text, yes I had to added a heart to his name, luckily the others didn't know about that neither did him.

Me: Mmk, see ya soon! :D

I sent the message to him and waited for his response. I held the phone tightly, my hands shaking for some odd reason. I couldn't stop smiling at all, over a simple text from him.

My phone vibrated once again and I read:
Balz: NOW GET BACK TO CLASS, LOL! See ya Devin.

I clicked the lock screen and literally blushed. I began rocking on my chair. Why was I acting like this? Ryan, Ricky, Chris, Ange, Balz, and I have been in this band for 8 months, makes no sense to act like a girl who's gonna go to a Justin Beiber concert.
Practice will be interesting today, I have a feeling.

As soon as the bell rang for the school day to end, I rushed out of my History class, down the hall towards the exits of the school to find the boys near the exit huddled together. My eyes spotted Josh who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. I smiled and slowly walked to them, just to look at Josh.

"Could you walk any slower, Chris?" I heard Chris complain. I sighed and finally came to them. As soon as I did, I punched Chris in the arm hard.

"Ow, what was that for?" he whined rubbing his arm.

"You've been annoying me all day now, shut up."

"Well it's not my fault you like Jo-"

"Anyways, ready?" Josh interrupted. We all nodded and I glared at Chris who gave me goofy smile. We left the school and went to Angelo's car.

"SHOTGUN!" Ryan quickly opened the passenger seat door. Dammit, I wanted to sit in the front to day. I sighed and followed Ricky to the back. As I buckled up, I looked to the side to find Josh sitting next to me.

"Hey, why are you red?" he asked, his hand brushing across my face. My eyes grew and I turned away.

"Not feeling well, I need to sleep."

"Ok, we'll make sure that happens." Josh said as he pulled me into a hug. I smiled and literally thought I was gonna pass out.

"You guys ready?" Chris started the engine, oh great we're all gonna die.

"Yea, let's go." My eyes met Josh's who winked at me.

We decided to stop by What-a-burger before heading off to Chris's house. Chris and the other got hamburgers; I just got chicken fingers and a chocolate shake. It was nice of Angelo to pay for us though. We ate as we drove off to his house.

He parked on the side of the house and we got out. Angelo groaned since we told him he had to throw away our trash. Josh let us inside the house and Chris immediately jumped onto his couch.

"WOO! School's almost over!"

"Hell yeah! Can't wait for summer." Ryan cheered on, going into Josh's fridge and pulled out a Coke. Ricky held him from behind and they swayed back and forth. I have to admit, they were a cute couple though. Kind of weird that Ricky is the man of the relationship, though I always thought he'll bottom. Clearly not since Ryan would sometimes come to school, limping and say that he "just fell". Sure he did…

My eyes went away from them and I looked to Josh who was smirking as he starred at me. I felt myself blush and gave him a goofy smile.

"Same here." He said sitting at his table, he waved for me to sit next to him and I hesitated to come close to him. I pulled up the chair and slowly sat down.

"So," he scooted closer to me, I literally thought I as gonna faint or something, "What are you plans this summer?"

"Um, nothing really. Besides soccer practice but that's about. But I know that Ange and them are going out of town for the summer. So yeah, you?"

"Same here wanna hang?" he asked, a grin coming across his face as he looked up and down at me. I took a deep breath in and exclaimed.

"Sure, sure! What about your parents?"

"They'll be out on business trips. You can stay over if it's ok with your mom though?"

"Of course she loves you Josh, and she'll be ok with it!" I patted him on his shoulder.

"So, are we gonna practice or what?" Ange sat at the table disturbing our moment. I glared at him and he winked in response.

"No, I just wanted you guys over for the hell of it. I really haven't written anything lately, haven't been in the mood lately."

"Oh, I see! Nice, plus I'm tired anyways, need to relax in the first place." The other guys soon joined us. Ryan sat on Ricky's lap who found Chris's dads beer and drank it. The rest of them talked off except for me who just stayed quiet the whole time. I was debating either I should tell Andy that I liked him or just stay quiet about it.

"Are you ok Devin?" I heard Josh ask, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

I shook my head and turned to him, "Huh? Oh, I'm fine… don't worry. I need something to drink." I got up quickly and rushed to fridge. I pulled out a Coke and stood at the fridge. The guys soon got up from the table, going to the couch. Ryan turned on the Xbox and TV, grabbed the controllers and waited for Gears of War to start.

I felt someone touch my shoulder and realized it was Ricky. I stared into his piercing blue eyes and frowned a bit.

"Hey man… wanna talk?" he asked with concern. Instead of giving him a direct answer, I nodded. We went outside to have our little talk. We sat on the porch and I sighed heavily.

"I really need to tell him. I can't hold it in anymore. But I'm just scared that I'll scare him away, and I don't want that to happen at all. This is really hurting me, what should I do?"

"I know man I can tell it's really affecting you. But when do you think its right?" he reached for my hand and patted it.

"I don't know he's still with Juliet. So I guess whenever they break up, pretty sure in the next 1,000 years."

"Don't wait for the love in your life to break up with someone, it's the worst thing to do." He replied. I looked into his brown eyes and gave him confused look.

"Why's that?"

"Because whenever you do so, they'll still have feelings for their ex. They'll remember every little thing they did together and really sometimes some people want their partner to be exactly just like them. And you really don't want to be Audrey, at least right now."

"Why's that?"

Ricky leaned forward to my ear and whispered, "She's cheating on him really."

I gasped loudly, "with whom?

"Remember, TJ. Before he got kicked out, she started hanging around him a lot. And they day he got kicked out, I went to his house to check up on him to see how he was doing. And as I walked up the porch, I saw from the window her giving him head. I turned away fast and left."

My jaw dropped in response, "what really? Damn…" Wow, I mean TJ however really was eye candy for almost every girl. He had the body of an athlete, light brown eyes, fair skin tone, and jet black hair. He had a chest piece that looked really cool, and his left side of his lip and nose pierced.

"Don't tell him ok, I know it will hurt him badly."
"I won't. I promise."

From inside, we could hear Chris and Ryan scream in frustration, well at least Chris was.

"Ahahaha! Man you suck at this game! I have freaking booms hot, you can't snip me, not from that distance. Plus I told you that you should have played on the Locust side as Skorge if you wanted to play. But no! You wanted to be the only Mexican and look what happened!"

"Shut up Cerulli or I'm gonna beat the hell out of you." Ryan threatened playfully. Next thing you know, I hear a loud slap and Ryan screaming at Chris to come to him. Ricky and I exchanged looks of laughter and turned to find josh at the door.

"Hey, you guys wanna come in?"

"Yeah, I wanna see Ryan kick Chris's ass." Ricky joked. We slowly rose off the porch and Josh went back inside, but before he did he winked at me. Before we went in, Ricky stopped me.

"Hey, promise me you'll never tell him. And, don't give up on your love ok? You don't want to end up like me." He placed his hands on my shoulders.

"I promise… don't worry." We finally went inside. The whole night my thoughts were about Audrey cheating on Josh, who would even want to do that to a person like him? She should be ashamed of herself. Now I guess that another thing to hold against her. How could I even hold that as a secret?