Renee felt a tight grip on her hand and literally jumped from her sleep, eyes open wide as she looked on her right side. The sight scared her shitless. Dean was trembling, his breathing shaky and irregular, and when she touched his forehead to check if he had fever, she could feel tiny drops of sweat on his skin. He wasn't burning – in fact, his body was a bit colder than usual.

"Jon", Renee pushed her palms into the mattress, wanting to sit up, but he pulled her down with him and grabbed hold of her, his breathing quickening. Renee's heart began to thump loudly and she almost started to panic. "Jon, babe, everything's fine. It was just a nightmare." She hugged him and rubbed her palms up and down his back, trying to get him back to his normal state, even though she was disturbed as well. He was never this vulnerable. He'd told her a while back that his dreams were horrifyingly vivid, but she never imagined that it would be this bad.

"Stay", he whispered, his eyes full of fear. His shaky hands slipped beneath his old T-shirt that she was wearing as a nightgown and Renee furrowed her brow, unsure of what he was doing until his open mouth fell onto her neck and began to suck on the sensitive skin. A moan escaped her lips and she tugged on his hair, so dazed by the feeling of his weight on top of her and his lips and teeth on her neck that she didn't even notice when he got rid of all of their clothes. He never stopped holding her hand as his lips went back to hers and kissed them desperately. She gripped his hand and held the back of his neck firmly, trying to stay collected. He needed her right now, both physically and mentally, but his kisses were too good to remain clear-headed.

"Jon", she gasped against his lips. She wanted to tell him that she was there, that he could be at peace, but he didn't give her the chance to say that. His tongue immediately slipped between her lips and drew out a muffled moan from her. He kept kissing her while he adjusted to enter her, probing her entrance. "Fuck", she hissed when she felt the first, hard thrust, her back arching. Her fingers squeezed his hand even more and her legs circled his waist, pulling him in even deeper. His breaths were sharp and quick, much like the thrusts he was filling Renee with. His lips connected with hers once again, covering them with messy, desperate kisses that tasted of aching. He wanted more. He needed more. Renee could feel it. And she was more than willing to sacrifice and let him have it. "Let go", she whispered into his ear, removing a few strands of his hair from his face. "Let go, babe, I know you need it."

There was a fleeting glimpse of disbelief in his eyes before he gulped and took a second to kiss her as a sign of thankfulness, dropping his head into the crook between her shoulder and neck afterwards. And then Renee closed her eyes, hugged his neck tightly with one hand and dug her heels into the small of his back, feeling his entire body shuddering with effort as he began to pound into her roughly, relieving the anxiety and the dread in his own way. He was utterly unable to speak, but the almost possessive way in which he held Renee in his arms told her clearer than ever that she was someone he couldn't go on without. Every new jolt of his hips knocked the breath out of her, making her rake her fingernails over his shoulders. Her gasps soon turned to moans and her nails broke the skin, eliciting a pleased grunt from Dean. He needed the pain, he needed it to feel alive.

Renee could soon feel tendrils of bliss starting to form in her lower body. He had set up a nearly brutal pace, bringing her to the edge. Their hands gripped one another tightly as her mouth opened in ecstasy, a loud moan escaping her throat as she came hard against him, collapsing on the bed, unable to get to her senses.

He needed just a few thrusts more after she had come undone, letting out a loud gasp when he reached his own peak of pleasure. It wasn't even an orgasm, it was much more than that. It was total release. He still had just enough strength to slump next to her and not on top of her as he pulled out of her and his head dropped down to her neck. She immediately pulled him into her embrace, one hand resting on his back and the other on his nape. His skin was slick from the thin layer of sweat on it, but she couldn't care less. She was still trying to catch her breath and get back to reality, all while trying to comfort him with her touch. He was still slightly shaking and it alarmed her. "Calm down… calm down, sweetie." Her lips pressed a gentle kiss on the side of his head and cradled him tighter. He gripped her body even more, as if he feared that she was going to flee from him. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. You can relax." Her fingers stroked his hair while the tenseness in his muscles started to fade. She sprinkled featherlight kisses all over his face while their breathing and heartbeats stilled. "Everything's alright."


Renee woke up before him in the morning, as usual, but this time instead of getting up to make breakfast or take a shower, she stayed in bed with him. After last night, she really wanted to be with him when he regained consciousness. Getting to observe how angelic his face looked when he was asleep was just an added bonus.

It didn't take long for him to rub his eyes and squint at her. A bright streak of bluish color underneath his lashes made Renee's heart flutter.

"Hey", she said, brushing her fingers across his stubbly cheek and over his messy, soft curls. A small smile brightened her face in hope that it would get him to smile too. "You okay?"

He nodded. The look in his eyes was peaceful and it relieved her. "I love you", he said softly. Her heart missed a beat and she blinked, thinking that she somehow just imagined him saying that, but then his lips moved again and his clear eyes looked into hers intensely. "I really fucking love you." A small smile curved his lips.

Renee's eyes watered. It was the first time he had told her that. She'd said it to him before, even though it was done in a half-jokingly fashion every time. They had never said those three words to each other like this, in complete seriousness and intimacy. She knew that she was madly in love with him a long time ago and she wanted to tell him that, but she also knew that he wasn't the one to wear his heart on his sleeve, and so she decided to wait until he was comfortable with saying those words to her first.

"I felt like finally saying it, especially after last night. I'm sorry if it came out mushy", he laughed quietly, seeing how wonderstruck she was.

"No, it didn't, I just…" she sighed, shaking her head. "I love you too", she managed to whisper before kissing him. She thought her heart must've grown and filled the entirety of her chest, because the happiness she was feeling in that moment was something out of this world.