A/N; I haven't updated any of my stories recently as I've been super busy with work (I'm a restaurant manager so it keeps me super busy!). I'd like to apologize for that right away and let you all know that I am going to "try" to get some of my incomplete works updated, including High Noon. Kathryn's story isn't done, yet, but I haven't had the same inspiration as usual there.
That being said, I have a new story that I literally just wrote at five in the morning (and on my phone so, please do forgive any typos). I was going to hold it, but I'm thinking I'll publish it and update according to the response it receives. So... Let's say I get 5 reviews and I'll work on the next chapter, hm?
Hope to see you all soon and so very hope you enjoy!
There are some things that we should be allowed to simply forget. To just let them drift away into the vast abyss of nothingness and allow our hearts to heal from those painful memories. To, perhaps, allow ourselves to start anew without the previous baggage being added to the weight of our thoughts without any recourse to the actions that brought us to such tremulous points in our lives.
I wish I could say that that was what happened to me, however, I would be lying if I'd said those events had come to pass.
I used to think my life was simple. Well, as simple as it could be with a mother that was more like a child of my own and a father that really didn't know the first thing about being a parent.
Renee and Charlie did what they could, even without their divorce happening just after I was born. They were good people, even if they weren't really suited to being parents. They loved me and I loved them, that was all that mattered.
Of course, I'd made the decision to move from sunny Arizona to my parent's dreary hometown of Forks, Washington to allow Renee the chance to travel and have fun with her new husband, Phil. That had been the start of my downfall and, looking back on it, I'd likely change my mind about that move to live with Charlie if I could.
As it was previously stated, you can't change the past.
Meeting Edward had been something of a dream, honestly.
Here was this perfect Adonis that was actually paying attention to me when he wouldn't look twice in the direction of any of the girls around us at school. I should have known better, but I fell into his trap anyways and I will likely forever regret that decision.
Learning that Vampires, Werewolves, and Shape-shifters were real had reality crashing down around me. It had me realizing quickly that Edward was only interested in me due to my "silent" mind and I found myself feeling like the punchline in some horrible joke.
"Let's see how long it takes the idiot human to realize she isn't much more than food, shall we?"
I suppose, now that I'd been awakened to that reality, I should have just tucked my metaphorical tail between my legs and run, but to where? I couldn't go back to Renee as she wouldn't be much help and I couldn't see myself leaving Charlie alone, it would hurt him to be alone again after pining for his ex-wife for so long.
Not to mention the fact that I didn't really come to this conclusion about the Cullens right away.
No, I'd been blind to their manipulative ways and dazzled by these overly-perfect creatures in such a way that I even pondered becoming one of them. It had been a stupid move to ask to be changed, but it'd happened nonetheless and, as I feel like a broken record, the past can't be changed.
I suppose the novelty of a human knowing what they were began to wear off at some point between the "Phoenix Incident" and my ill-fated birthday party. The Cullens left me and I fell apart, though I now know it was due to lingering effects of the pheromones that Edward had been pumping into me for the entire year we'd been together.
I can't say that it didn't hurt to have my heart torn to shreds, my biggest insecurities be used against me so callously as Edward had done. No, denying the pain would be a goddamned lie and I couldn't help but to sink into the depression that I feel everyone goes through when losing their first love.
Though, the result of the Cullens leaving set into motion a turn of events that ended my life anyways, turning it on its head once more as news came of members of my family slowly dying in tragic accidents. Charlie chalked it up to some kind of curse, but I knew the truth.
Victoria.
The psychotic vampiress that was mated to James, the first vampire to try and kill me, had come back with a vengeance. And she knew just what to do to put me on edge.
It started with distant relatives, my great uncles, aunts, cousins removed many times over. As she moved closer and closer to Charlie and I being the only ones left to hold the Swan name, I knew exactly what she was doing.
With her covenmate abandoning her and her mate long-since dead, Victoria wanted me to feel just as alone in the world as she felt. And what was worse? It was working.
It wasn't until my aunt Rey and her husband, Charlie's brother, Chris, met their demise that I realized that my sulking and living in constant dread was forced to leave my fragile heart. With their passing, their daughter, Serena, was left with no one to care for her aside from Charlie. It was sheer luck that Serena had been away at summer camp when her parents had died so that she had been spared the same fate.
Serena.
That poor, angelic child that lightened my heart of all of its burdens and gave my life a whole new meaning.
I knew that her parents being gone was going to be hard on her, but I didn't expect my young cousin to take it as she did. She stopped speaking completely, seeming lost in her own five-year-old mind as she would either draw or stare out the window for hours on end, only eating if she was given a verbal command to do so.
It hurt to see the little girl acting that way and I knew Charlie had only meant to help when he'd taken her to a child psychiatrist only a month into her being put into his care. It wasn't anything bad to try and figure out why the girl was just as broken as she was, though we all knew it was due to her being the one to discover the mutilated bodies of her parents when she'd been brought home by one of the neighbors that fateful weekend.
Post-traumatic Elective Mutism.
Such big words to simply say Serena wasn't talking because of what she'd gone through.
I could tell that even seeing simple things that reminded her of Rey and Chris would make her shrink further into her own mind. How her hair was that same almost pink shade of strawberry blonde Rey had had. Or that her eyes we a striking image of her father"s own briliant blue. It didn't help that the image of her parents was reflected in every image she saw of herself, or the face of Charlie being so closely resembled to that of his younger brother.
In the end, with the advice of the psychiatrist, we decided it be best to try and help Serena in the only way we knew how. We would simply leave it alone.
It started to work and she slowly began to come out of her shell. I remember how clearly my heart seemed to skip a beat when she'd first spoken since coming to live with us. That simple "yes" in response to me asking her if she needed more crayons to draw with had me almost shouting my victory to the high Heavens.
Even if her words never grew past those simple "yes" and "no" responses, I'd clung to them like a drowning man would clutch a piece of driftwood. My little cousin was getting better, was healing, so I could do the same.
How I could forget about Victoria's looming presence, I really can't say. I do remember my heart clenching in pain when I received the call of Renee's passing in a car accident. It wasn't a clear picture to prove it was the vampiress that had killed my mom, but I knew it and she knew that I knew.
I didn't even have time to grieve before Charlie, too, met his demise. This event setting off a chain-reaction as I didn't even stay in town for the funeral. No, I elected to grab Serena and run, trying to keep my young cousin out of harms way and hoping that Jake and his pack would handle the killer lurking around Forks.
With haste, I'd made a likely stupid decision to take money from the abandoned house of the Cullens. It had only meant to be a couple hundred dollars, but I was surprised to find that little note from someone called "PW" as I'd been rifling through Carlisle's office desk. The unknown person had left me nearly a hundred grand to, as he so elegantly put it, "get the hell outta dodge".
So, with my safety net in place, I'd loaded Serena into my rusty, trusty, old pickup and done exactly as PW had told me to do.
We ran for nearly a year, Serena never asking questions. She seemed to accept the situation for what it was and I knew she trusted me wholeheartedly as she never tried to draw attention to us.
My heart was heavy with the knowledge that I could never go back home, but I had to keep running for Serena's sake. She was all that mattered at this point and I vowed that, were I ever to see Edward Cullen again, I would do my damnedest to put an end to his backwards-thinking ass for leaving me to deal with an enraged predator breathing on my heels.
It took only a year for the accident to happen and, honestly, I'd expected it to happen much, much, sooner than it had.
That rogue vampire had thought I'd be a tasty snack but hadn't counted on my little butane torch to come into contact with his perfect face. I can't help but to laugh sometimes about how it wasn't so perfect anymore.
That aside, I'd finally become exactly what I had wanted to. The only problem being that it was for the entirely wrong reason that I'd become a vampire. I was never supposed to be a vampire without Edward by my side.
My only comfort in that situation being that I could kill the bastard myself quite easily if we ever crossed paths again.
But that didn't make me forget about the main focus of all my problems.
I knew Victoria was still on my heels, knew she was still stalking me and that she was getting impatient. It wasn't as hard as I'd thought to do the unspeakable and use Serena as bait to lure the crazed redhead in so that I could get rid of her.
With my newfound control as a special newborn, I knew that Serena would be safe from anything that would try to harm her, myself included.
The next question that arose was whether my cousin knew what I was or not. I imagine that the girl, now at the tender age of seven, knew exactly what I was but chose not to mention anything due to numerous reasons.
One, I didn't hunt innocents.
My eyes were, and still are, red. I hold no shame in knowing that I kill humans that would either be crowding prisons or wreaking havoc on those who didn't deserve it. I didn't want to look into a mirror and be reminded of the "family" that had betrayed me so horribly in the past. I vowed not to be like the Cullens and was careful whenever Serena became involved.
That brings me to my second point, I was open with her aabout the situation.
I didn't lie to Serena about being a vampire, but never used the word whenever I spoke of my sudden change. Her tiny shoulders seemed to relax in knowing that I wouldn't hurt, or let anyone else hurt, her in any way. I was now her biggest protector, ironically being her "shield" of sorts.
My third point is my last one and I feel its the shortest one, Serena still didn't talk much.
She evolved from her simple one-word replies to questions directed towards her, but she still took some motivation to speak about anything. The only thing that seemed to pull the girl from her shell was speaking about art and I made it a point to do anything I could to help her to pursue her passion, whether it be buying her supplies, taking her to a gallery, or just asking her questions about the pieces she made.
Her peachy skin would flush from enjoyment about speaking of her art and her beautiful cobalt eyes would light up like sparkling sapphires as each word passed through her rose petal lips.
Serena was everything to me, she was the light of my existence and I loved her like my own mom should have loved me. I would do anything to keep that spark in her eye and the fire within her heart alive. I would burn before I allowed anyone to touch her for the entire twelve years we spent together.
Which, I suppose, is how I bring us to the present, the beginning of the end for me and my story. As I stand before the Volturi with Serena trembling alongside me, her eyes wide with fear as we both looked up towards Aro and awaiting the decision for our fates.
This was where we would die and everything I'd worked for over the last twelve years would be for nothing. I'd failed in my quest of keeping my cousin safe and I felt I almost deserved to be a pile of ashes for allowing Serena to even step foot in the same country as the royalty that lead my race like a group of dark reapers in the darkness.
We would both die today, I was sure of it.
