he picked up the blade.
he put it down.
he picked it up again.
a line perfectly paralell to the others now graced his arm. blood, garnet, glistening like dew on pale grass. dew, another lifegiving fluid, the kind you can't take away. not like this. not with such masochistic cruelty and disregard.
disgusting only because it looked like a geometry equasion, water spilled and blurring red lines. pale skin swelled pink around a wound. a battle scar. another mark of pride and self control. just like a SeeD should have. a badge. a level gained. yet this time, it was personal.
a little too personal.
how do these feelings become control?
nothing ever comes easy.
not pain.
not even death.
to choose death. a strange feeling capturing you, ethereal, begging you.
begging you, you chickenshit, begging..
move that knife a little further down.
you chicken. you fucking loser. nobody likes you.
and you can't even do it. you can't just slit that vein.
chicken, chicken, baby, child, little boy, so innocent, fucking do it.
you know you want it.
you know everyone else wants it.
so do it.
come on motherfucker, what are you afraid of?
maybe they won't call you a loser any more.
write your last words... how to pretend you're angry when you're really just sad.
sad that they pay you no mind.
sad that you'll leave a mess.
so have you decided, boy?
pick up the knife again.
he picked it up.
his uniform was stained now. he felt weak.
he held that soft silvergrey blade against his pale wrist, and after a moment of thought, pressed it in.
-
nida was not a pain wimp.
nida was not a chicken.
nida was a lot of things.
dead, for one.
was he missed?
no. nobody thought to check his dorm until the smell of death began to pervade.
-
Yes, this was extremely gross, and yes, it was depressing- but it happens every day to people you don't even know. Does that scare you? It's the world of clinical depression. I lived in that world for a long time. If you feel suicidal, please seek guidance from someone. You'd be suprised how many people out there want to help you.
Nida is owned by Squaresoft, as is the rest of FF8.
he put it down.
he picked it up again.
a line perfectly paralell to the others now graced his arm. blood, garnet, glistening like dew on pale grass. dew, another lifegiving fluid, the kind you can't take away. not like this. not with such masochistic cruelty and disregard.
disgusting only because it looked like a geometry equasion, water spilled and blurring red lines. pale skin swelled pink around a wound. a battle scar. another mark of pride and self control. just like a SeeD should have. a badge. a level gained. yet this time, it was personal.
a little too personal.
how do these feelings become control?
nothing ever comes easy.
not pain.
not even death.
to choose death. a strange feeling capturing you, ethereal, begging you.
begging you, you chickenshit, begging..
move that knife a little further down.
you chicken. you fucking loser. nobody likes you.
and you can't even do it. you can't just slit that vein.
chicken, chicken, baby, child, little boy, so innocent, fucking do it.
you know you want it.
you know everyone else wants it.
so do it.
come on motherfucker, what are you afraid of?
maybe they won't call you a loser any more.
write your last words... how to pretend you're angry when you're really just sad.
sad that they pay you no mind.
sad that you'll leave a mess.
so have you decided, boy?
pick up the knife again.
he picked it up.
his uniform was stained now. he felt weak.
he held that soft silvergrey blade against his pale wrist, and after a moment of thought, pressed it in.
-
nida was not a pain wimp.
nida was not a chicken.
nida was a lot of things.
dead, for one.
was he missed?
no. nobody thought to check his dorm until the smell of death began to pervade.
-
Yes, this was extremely gross, and yes, it was depressing- but it happens every day to people you don't even know. Does that scare you? It's the world of clinical depression. I lived in that world for a long time. If you feel suicidal, please seek guidance from someone. You'd be suprised how many people out there want to help you.
Nida is owned by Squaresoft, as is the rest of FF8.
