Summary: 14 lucky contestants will be locked into the Room of Requirement for 2 weeks. Who will be the last one in, winning 1,000,000 galleons? The rules are simple…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Harry Potter © Jo Rowling. This story will likely make little sense, so please don't complain about the lack of realism. I am fully aware of it.

JULY16-JULY16-JULY16

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore folded a last sheet of parchment and slid it into an envelope. Yawning, he stood up and took the candle from his desk, heading out to the Owlery.

He managed to wake 14 owls and tie letters to each of their legs. The owls shuffled out and soared out into the sky.

Dumbledore chuckled to himself. "Well," he said, watching the owls become 13 tiny pinpricks (one of them doubled back and headed for the North Tower). "This should be very interesting. Yes, interesting indeed."

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Two house elves stood a little behind him, unseen. One whispered to the other, "Is he talking to himself again? I thought he was on medication for that."

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Miles away, Harry Potter woke with a start as an owl pecked loudly at his window. He opened it and the owl flew to Hedwig's perch.

Harry removed the letter from its leg. He recognized the crest as Hogwarts and ripped it open curiously.

Dear Mr. Potter,

Congratulations! You have been selected to participate in a very special contest. You and 13 other contestants will be locked in the Room of Requirement for exactly two weeks. The room will be charmed to provide no more then a bathroom and three meals a day for each person. The last one remaining will win a 1,000,000-Galleon prize!

The rules are as follows:

No murder. Breaking this rule will result in a disqualification.

Harry stared in disbelief.

You will be disqualified if you leave the room.

Do not inflict bodily harm upon anyone. You will receive a warning for the first time you break this rule. You will be disqualified the second time this rule is broken.

Arrive at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry by 12:00 noon on August 15th. The contest will begin at 6:00 PM. We hope to see you there! If you are unable to attend, please notify us by August 10th.

Good luck,

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

Headmaster of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

JULY16-JULY16-JULY16

Ron Weasley sat at his kitchen table, shoveling eggs down his throat at an alarming rate.

Suddenly a tawny owl soared in through the open window, dropping a letter on his head and causing him to choke.

He ripped open the letter and skimmed over it.

"What the bloody hell is this?"

"Hey, Ron!"

Ginny ran down the stairs, waving an identical letter in his face. "Oh, you got one too!"

Suddenly the fireplace burst into emerald flames as Fred's head emerged over the logs. "Oy, did you two get any of those weird letters about some sort of contest?"

Ginny nodded.

"Yeah, so did George and I a little while ago. Are you going?"

Ron shrugged. "Dunno. How do you even know these are real?"

"They're from Dumbledore. Who would go to planning such an elaborate prank anyway?" Fred pointed out sensibly.

"I guess; if Mum will let us. I've gotta owl Hermione, see if she got one…" Ginny disappeared.

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Hermione was already up and studying from her practice NEWT textbook when she got her letter.

"No murder? Is this contest legal?"

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Lucius Malfoy (who had paid off the Ministry to keep himself from being jailed after that pesky little Death Eater incident) sat at the head of a long, ornately carved table, sipping a cup of coffee. Draco sat at the opposite end, reading a copy of The Miniature Death Eater's Guide by Ima Masterovillainy.

A small, cowering house elf walked up to Lucius. A large barn owl sat upon her head.

Lucius gave her the Malfoy Sneer™ and snatched up the letter, frowning. "Well, really! How preposterous!"

Draco looked up from page 192, Perfecting Your Evil Sneer. "What's so preposterous?"

Lucius thrust the letter at his son. "Look at this."

Draco's eyes lit up. Money symbols practically glowed in them. "But look, Father! The prize is one million Galleons!

"It can't be real."

"It's from Dumbledore."

"Names can be forged. Besides, who wants to enter a contest of that Mudblood loving crackpot's anyway?"

"Let's just try it."

"Fine. You'll see who was right." Lucius said haughtily.

JULY16-JULY16-JULY16

Severus Snape was lying on a sandy white beach in Jamaica. Well, technically he was lying on a fluffy beach towel on a sandy white beach in Jamaica. The water was clear and turquoise, with little foamy white crests. A gull called from overhead and the sun was bright and shining golden against the sand. In one pallid, skinny hand he clutched a martini topped with a small pink umbrella.

It was the very picture of paradise, spoiled only by the owl that swooped in and dropped an envelope on his head. Snape cursed, then sat up and split the envelope open.

When he finished reading it, his mouth was hanging completely open. "What's wrong with Dumbledore? I'd bet my martini it's that damn medication; I warned Madam Pomfrey. He's completely doped up on it…"

Muttering, Snape stood up and wrapped himself in his towel and trudged off the beach, flip-flops sinking into the sand as he walked. Dumbledore had a lot of explaining to do.

JULY16-JULY16-JULY16

Lord Voldemort sat in his mansion, feeling rather bored- nearly all his Death Eaters were on vacation. He may have been an evil megalomaniac, but he was not unreasonable. Death Eaters did get part of the summer off.

Wormtail appeared at his door. "M-my Lord, you have mail."

Voldemort waved him in and Wormtail dropped several parcels on his desk before skittering out. Voldemort rolled his eyes. Minions- they were so timid sometimes.

He looked over the mail quickly- the Daily Prophet, a postcard from Bellatrix and Rodolphus (they were in France), a bill for the muggle torturing device he had bought yesterday…

"Ooh! My Dark Lord magazine arrived." He skimmed it eagerly.

Finally Voldemort came upon the envelope baring a Hogwarts crest. His lip curled in disgust and consternation. "How did they find my new address?"

He read it and laughed, tossing it into his wastebasket.

Wormtail emerged at the doorway again, looking confused. "Master, an owl just pecked me in the forehead-" and Voldemort saw there was indeed a nasty looking dent above his right eyebrow "-it was holding this letter."

Voldemort took it. The letter was from Hogwarts and had only the words THIS IS NOT A JOKE written upon it.

He frowned. "I'll have to pay Dumbledore a visit," he decided, drumming his long white fingers on the desk impatiently.

JULY16-JULY16-JULY16

The Ministry of Magic was extremely busy. Owls were flying in every second, including quite a few Howlers. Explosions occurred every other second.

Dolores Umbridge sat in her office with the door tightly closed. She was drinking tea with cream and sugar- despite that it had been months since her ordeal with the centaurs, drinking her tea was almost a form of therapy. It calmed her greatly (it helped that she'd had a bit of Prozac with- sometimes Muggles did come up with the best inventions).

A letter sat on her desk, one that she had been almost afraid to open because of the Hogwarts crest on it.

Her hands shook slightly as she opened the envelope and read it. Umbridge's brow furrowed and her eyes popped. She quickly stood and waddled out the door, ducking a random explosion as she headed for the Minister's office.

"Cornelius!" she shook the letter at him angrily upon bursting in the door. "What is this nonsense?"

Fudge held an identical letter. "I have absolutely no idea," he blustered. He was steadily turning an angry puce. "I must have a word with Dumbledore about this. He's gone absolutely mad this time, he has."

JULY16-JULY16-JULY16

A little while away, at the headquarters of the Daily Prophet, Rita Skeeter sat, sucking on her quill thoughtfully. Yes, she had kept to that silly Muggleborn girl's deal and not written anything besides that one article for a year. But now that Rita had her job back, she didn't really give a damn. Who was to stop her from writing all the nasty prying stories she could dig up?

An owl interrupted her musing: it dropped a letter on her head. Rita slit it open with her long scarlet nails and frowned. What was this all about?

She pondered it for a moment. If the letter were real, it would be an excellent opportunity to get the scoop on the sort of things the public was dying to know. The thought was enough to put a feral gleam in her eyes. That was that, then.

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The North Tower was a very quiet place, especially during the summer. Hardly anyone was at Hogwarts, just the way Sybill Trelawney liked it. More time to think up new prophecies and work on her acting skills- there was no way she'd be able to keep her job if she didn't. Trelawney was quite aware of what a fraud she was.

"I see… something dark and foreboding in your future. No, I see…something dark… and foreboding in the near future, my child. Yes, that's good."

Then Sibyll turned to practice gazing in a crystal ball. She stared into the depths of one.

An owl stared back.

She almost shrieked, but held it in long enough to accept the letter it handed her. Sibyl opened the envelope and read the letter in confusion. Well, why didn't he just walk up to the North Tower and give it to me? It's really not that far away.

JULY16-JULY16-JULY16

Well, how was it? Hopefully not as bad as I thought.

So, is that little button in the corner purple or blue, anyway? Oh well. It calls to you… click on it… Go on. REVIEW! I'll give you Snape's martini if you do.