I wrote this back in 2011. I had been thinking about what it would be like if I knew Edward Elric personally. Then I thought about the running joke in the series about Ed's alias causing confusion.
The result was this. Hope you enjoy! :)
One morning, I was sitting in the kitchen, pretending to drink coffee, when suddenly-
"I don't understand it!"
Barely flinching, I took a fake sip and asked, "Understand what, Ed?"
"The name Fullmetal! I mean, Bradley was a weird guy, granted, but he knew which of us was which!" Ed shouted.
He'd ranted about this enough that I knew he was referring to Al and himself. People often mistook Alphonse Elric for the Fullmetal Alchemist, since the alias seemed to imply a full suit of metal armor. Then when Al corrected them, they'd end up insulting Ed, which never ended well.
"Well," I said, looking up, "it could be worse, you know."
Ed's golden eyes lit up with curiosity. "How?"
"He could've given you an alias that made it blatantly obvious who was the State Alchemist." I said.
He paused, eyes narrowing. "...Like?"
I looked down. "I'd rather not say."
"Why?"
"Because I value my life."
"C'mon, it can't be that bad!"
"I'd rather not."
"Just spit it out!"
"Fine, fine! Just promise not to hurt me?"
"Okay, I promise."
I sighed. "You could've been the Fire Ant Alchemist."
muse: ...Fire Ant Alchemist? Really?
Grey: Well, he's tiny, short-tempered and wears red.
muse: Ah.
PS- In case you couldn't tell, I'm not a coffee drinker. That's why I was faking it. ;)
PPS- This only took half an hour to write! XD
