A/N I wrote this after a horrible nightmare in which I lost my best-friend so some of this is kinda personal to me. Thanks to the usual people, but most of all, Laura, for always being there for me and for being the best friend anyone could ever wish for.
I didn't really know what to write for this Dean, but the guy said it would be a good idea so here I go.
Dear Dean,
Now that you're gone, I really don't know what to do anymore. I followed you around and helped you with what you said we should do. I never ignored you and always listened. I laughed with you, got trashed with you, we really did kick some supernatural ass, didn't we?
I know you'd want me to be happy and live on without giving you a second thought, but I can't do that. I'm lost without you, Dean. I've known and loved you my whole life. You gave your life up for mine and not only am I eternally grateful, I can't help but feel guilty. You died because of me and I hate it.
Why do I deserve to live more than you?
The day I watched you die, my whole life fell apart. I lost the only person in the world that truly mattered to me. When Jake stabbed me, I was detached from myself and you. But this is ten million times worse, I feel the pain that you felt when I died. How could you do this to me, Dean?
You were hurting and you brought me back, only to eventually feel exactly the same. It was selfish. You have said yourself at least once that what's dead should stay dead. I understand though. You are my brother. There's nothing I wouldn't do to bring you back, but I know you'd only come back and kick my sorry ass for doing whatever I did to save you.
I know why you made the deal. This gut-wrenching agony, the same that I feel now, forced you to do it, in an effort to save your own sanity. I understand because that's how I feel now. I want to make a deal, I want to do whatever I can to bring you back to me, but I know that would only get us back where we started. It's hard and I don't really see any other option. The guy I saw last week told me I should start to look forwards and to the future, the trouble is I don't see any future without you. I don't want to be alone any longer, I can't be. I love you, Dean. I'll see you soon.
Sammy
Sam put down the pen he was writing with and placed the note in an envelope. His brother had been his life. He'd never been alone like this before and he loathed it. He simply just couldn't bear it anymore.
Sam walked over to the weapon's bag and rooted through it, looking for a suitable tool for his imminent action. Finally settling on a .45 calibre pistol, Sam carried both firearm and ammunition to the motel dining room table, where he loaded it fully. He wouldn't need all six rounds in the chamber, but he wanted to ensure he got the job done properly. Sam felt his cell vibrate in his pocket. Bobby's repeated phone calls didn't bother him anymore. He took out the phone and removed the battery. He walked over to the door, placed the "Do not Disturb" sign on the outer doorknob and closed it again, locking it behind him. Sam, finally satisfied that he would remain undisturbed, sat down at the table and picked up the gun. With slow, sure comfort, he raised it to his temple and placed his finger on the trigger.
In just a few moments, his life would end and his pain would be gone. All Sam wanted was to stop feeling the agony he was going through. He was going to get his wish.
A/N Please don't hate me for the ending, I just thought it would be a realistic view of what could have happened.
