Author's note: I wrote most of this back in 2009, but I didn't publish it because I thought I would wait until What It Is to Burn was finished. Unfortunately, I lost motivation to finish that story, but I figured I may as well publish this fic, which takes place a few years after what was supposed to be the end of What It Is to Burn.
Scars
Moonlight trickles in through the windows of the royal bedchamber, shining down on the Fire Lord and her consort—the former fast asleep and the latter wide awake.
Ty Lee drinks in the sight of a sleeping Azula laying on her stomach beside her. Sleep becomes her lover, Ty Lee reflects with a soft smile, as it's one of the rare instances she's completely relaxed. Peace has been such a hard thing to come by for them both, but Azula especially. Her life has been filled with certain hardships Ty Lee herself never has to endure, but has bore witness to.
Without thinking, she brings her fingers to Azula's left cheek, lightly touching the scar that mars her beautiful face and neck. Ty Lee closes her eyes in painful remembrance—she can still recall the agonized scream that had erupted from Azula, only thirteen years old, when Fire Lord Ozai had burned her.
Sadly, it wasn't the only time he had done that to his daughter.
Ty Lee opens her eyes again, and they drift down to Azula's right shoulder, where the skin puckers slightly. Her fingers follow, feeling the slight indentation there. Ty Lee knows there is a matching mark on the front of Azula's body. They are the result of an arrow that had pierced through Azula at the age of fourteen. Ty Lee had never felt so helpless as she did in the moment she saw Azula get shot down by a Yu Yan archer at Admiral Zhao's command. Later, as she held Azula while the arrow was removed and the wound cauterized, Ty Lee realized she never would have had the chance to be there for Azula if it hadn't been for Aang. The young avatar had saved her from Zhao's vengeance, and Ty Lee's feelings toward the boy began to change. That was when she stopped seeing him as an enemy. It had taken Azula a little longer, but then again, Ty Lee's honor hadn't been at stake.
Her fingers then move down along Azula's back, tracing along the wide, pinkish-white, crisscrossed scars. Ty Lee remembers when they were a deeper shade of pink, but they have slowly faded over time. Azula has been marked like this since the day they first met at the academy—only six years old. She remembers when she had first seen them, and the feeling of anger—a rare thing for the normally cheerful girl—that rose up at the sight. She hadn't known what the source of the scars was at first, as asking Azula directly about it wasn't proper. Still, there were whispers of the other girls, and soon Ty Lee knew them for what they were without Azula ever telling her. They were the marks left by a fire whip wielded by Fire Lord Ozai himself. It wasn't until after the war was over that Azula actually told her what exactly had happened to earn the punishment.
Ty Lee's hand stills as it comes to Azula's left side. There's another scar that starts here—a thin, white line about six inches long—and disappears toward her belly. She had been there for this one, too, although the memory isn't so terrible in hindsight. This was the result of a waterblade that Aang had hit Azula with during their very first fight. It's the only mark either of them have left on each other—physically, at least. Aang's friendship, along with the friendship of his companions, has left them all changed emotionally, and the world has benefited from it.
Azula stirs then, her golden eyes cracking open to see Ty Lee studying her. Ty Lee, realizing she has woken her lover, looks up at her a bit guiltily. She leans down and presses her lips to the corner of Azula's jaw. "I'm sorry I woke you," she murmurs apologetically before pulling back.
Azula rolls over onto her right side and then finally onto her back to look up at Ty Lee with sleepy eyes. Ty Lee trails her hand along the scar and toward Azula's stomach as her lover moves. Gray eyes are drawn to the center of Azula's chest, where a large, pink, ragged scar shows plainly. Instinctively, Ty Lee lowers her head and gently kisses it, and she feels Azula take in a shaky breath.
Tenderly, Ty Lee moves her mouth along Azula's skin, kissing along the pattern of weblike scars that extend from her chest and down the inside of her left arm to the center of her palm—the result of being struck by lightning by Fire Lord Ozai. Azula had nearly died from the attack, despite attempting to redirect it. The scar had been raw and red for nearly two years before finally beginning to heal. Even now, three years later, it's still a bit tender, but Ty Lee is always careful not to cause her any discomfort.
She remembers how tense Azula had become the first time she had tried to touch her intimately. Azula had always been comfortable with her displays of affection—hugs, cuddling, and even the occasional kiss. But when Ty Lee's hands began to trail up Azula's stomach and towards her breasts for the very first time, Azula had tensed and grabbed her wrists, halting her exploration.
"What's wrong?" Ty Lee asks, her voice gentle.
"I can't," Azula's voice breaks.
"Why?"
Azula doesn't answer, her amber eyes flashing with shame before looking away.
Thinking she understands, Ty Lee tries to reassure her. "If it's about your scars—"
"No, that's not it," Azula cuts her off, before lowering her voice. "I mean, it does bother me. Princesses are supposed to be beautiful, like Yue," Azula whispers, her self-loathing obvious.
"You're the most beautiful girl in the world, Azula," Ty Lee assures her. "More beautiful than Yue. I mean that." She leans forward and presses her lips to Azula's scarred cheek.
Tears fill Azula's eyes, and she wraps her arms around Ty Lee and rests her forehead against her shoulder.
"Thank you," she replies softly. They fall into silence then, with Ty Lee running a soothing palm up and down Azula's back, until, finally, Azula musters up the courage to explain things. "Something happened at the North Pole," she starts her confession quietly, causing Ty Lee to pause in her ministrations.
She realizes then that she doesn't known what happened at all during the time Azula had been at the North Pole. They never talked about it. She assumed that Azula had just arrived at the Spirit Oasis shortly after everyone else had.
"After I left Zuko's ship, I was able to get into the Northern Water Tribe, and I managed to track Aang to the Spirit Oasis," Azula elaborates, slowly drawing her head up to gaze at Ty Lee, her eyes shining with a vulnerability rarely seen. "I got there just before dawn and found him meditating in the oasis. I ended up fighting Katara—she had the upper hand because the moon was still out, but as soon as the sun rose the tide turned, and I won the fight. I took Aang, who was still out of it. I carried him all the way to the Water Tribe port, hoping to capture a small ship I could take to get out of there. But Zhao was there." Azula pauses, and her eyes flash with anger as her jaw flexes before she continues, her voice a little tighter now. "He and his men were destroying everything in the port. So I left, but he must have seen me and followed."
Azula averts her eyes again, swallowing thickly, and Ty Lee instictively tightens her hold as she sees Azula's aura flare up with darker colors. "By the time he caught up to me, I had made it fairly deep into the outer edge of the tribe and toward the tundra. There was no one else around, and Aang was still out." Azula closes her eyes, her body growing tenser by the moment. "Zhao and I fought, but I was so tired. And he managed to get the upper hand." Azula pauses then, letting out a shaky breath.
Ty Lee looks at her worriedly. "What happened?"
Azula presses her lips together as she opens her eyes, but her gaze is fixed to a point over Ty Lee's shoulder. "He pinned me to the ground," she replies, her voice laced with anger. "He made it hard for me to breathe so I couldn't use my breath of fire on him. He said he wanted revenge for my having spurned his previous advances, but most of all, for the Agni Kai. Like having me shot with an arrow wasn't good enough," she adds bitterly before tightening her jaw once more. "He started to… force himself on me." Azula's eyes close again then. "I… I tried to fight him off, but I couldn't."
Ty Lee feels her heart sink into her stomach as the pieces start to fall into place. "Did he?" she asks, unable to keep the anger out of her voice.
"No," Azula shakes her head. "He would have, if Katara, Sokka, and Yue hadn't shown up. But before they did… Zhao… he…"
"Shh, it's okay, Azula," Ty Lee tries to soothe her, even though she feels herself trembling with rage. If the former admiral wasn't already dead, she knows she would make sure of it herself.
"I tried to shut out what was happening," Azula says. "So I looked away, but when I did, I found that Aang had come back to his body. He looked at me with such compassion. I knew he would have helped me if he could. You know, his eyes are so much like yours."
Azula chances a glance back up at Ty Lee then, and Ty Lee feels her heart flip around in her chest, but it's such a conflicting mixture of emotions. All she has ever wanted to do is take care of Azula—to make her happy—and she hates how unkind the universe has been to her best friend.
"I love you," Ty Lee confesses, the words slipping out as a whisper without her consent, but the moment they leave her lips, she knows them to be true. "I love you so much, Azula," she repeats with quiet conviction. "I wish I could make all the things that make you sad go away forever, because you're the most beautiful, smartest, perfect girl in the world, and you deserve nothing but the best of everything."
A tearful smile is all Azula can give her in response before Ty Lee's mouth is captured in a kiss that she feels all the way to her core. "I love you too," is murmured against her lips.
Ty Lee feels her heart swell at the memory as her lips continue to map the scars of Azula's body, but there is still this ache that she doesn't quite know how to explain. She kisses the palm of Azula's hand, causing her fingers to lightly curl at the touch of her lips.
"Ty Lee?" is murmured softly, and she can't help but look back up toward Azula—those amber eyes much more alert now but so full of affection.
She presses one more kiss to the rough and reddened skin on Azula's palm before lifting her head up and shifting her body over Azula's, gazing down into the warm, questioning eyes of her lover.
"I love you," Ty Lee says, gray eyes searching Azula's for a moment before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to Azula's lips.
She feels Azula smile against her mouth then, and Ty Lee can't help but smile in return.
"And I love you," Azula replies softly as their kiss breaks. Her brow furrows a little then. "Everything okay?"
Ty Lee smiles sadly as she takes in the sight of Azula's scarred, naked body—evidence of the struggle Azula endured to get to where she is now. "Yeah," she says finally, before mentally shaking her head. The fact that Azula can lay here like this, comfortably on display for Ty Lee, makes the ache in her heart start to subside a bit. "I was just thinking too much about the past… but things worked out okay, didn't they?"
Azula's hands press against Ty Lee's hips before sliding up her naked back. "They did," she assures, her lips curving up slightly. "And I have you to thank for so much of that. I don't know what I would have done without you. You kept me sane all those years ago, and you make all my days brighter." She leans up and presses a soft kiss to Ty Lee's lips. "Thank you."
Ty Lee's smile grows a little brighter at Azula's words. "You don't have to thank me for anything," she says, even though it is nice to know that she makes Azula's days happier.
Azula will never be free from her scars—both those seen and unseen—that much Ty Lee knows. There are still days when she aches, but there are more when she smiles, and Ty Lee is determined to spend the rest of her life helping Azula forget the pain of her past as they continue to move toward an even brighter future.
