This is a fic about Edward thinking about Bella. Based of this song. Please read the song because it is so close to the story. Edwards POV
Disclaimer: I don't own David Wilcox or Edward or the Pacific Ocean.
How did you find me here? By David Wilcox
The
night I fell in sorrow
I knew I was alone
A dozen good-time
friendships
But my heart is still unknown
I thought I saw
your footsteps
In the sand along the shore
And I mumbled empty
phrases
That sang so well before
Chorus
Now inches from
the water
About to disappear
I feel you behind me
How did
you find me here?
I couldn't reach for rescue
I hid myself
from you
I couldn't stand to see me
From your point of view
I
knew I'd disappoint you
If I showed to you this child
Who is
crying out inside me
Lost in the wild
Chorus
Now inches
from the water
About to disappear
I feel you behind me
How
did you find me here?
I feel you behind me
Laughing in the
water
Wash away the tears
I feel you behind me
How did you
find me here?
I feel you behind me
But how did you find me
here?
I stood on the edge of the Pacific Ocean. I had walked with the single pair of foot prints in the sand, before stopping halfway down the beach. Thoughts of Bella were dancing through my mind, causing me unimaginable pain. I had done the right thing.
At least that's what I had to tell myself. I couldn't ever think of her, because the consequence would be getting lost.
And yet…
No one was around, and I could think of her for hours. I looked down at my feet and the foot prints next to mine. They belonged to just some stranger who had been walking on the beach. Just like Bella had been complete, perfect, unaware of monsters before I came into her life. She never even had a choice.
A quiet sob broke my lips. My eyes still focused on the foot prints on the ground. Just like these foot prints, I would stay here while Bella continued on. Just like with these foot prints, I had walked with Bella, just long enough for her to miss me once I left.
But that was just wishful thinking. She wouldn't miss me that much. She couldn't possibly have meant all the words she said about loving me, as much as I wished they were all true. She couldn't love me, because I was a monster.
"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb," I whispered, my voice cracking. I was much too proud. Here I was, calling myself a lion, an honest beast. I was so much lower than that. So why had I said it?
Easy, Bella made me feel like I was better then I was. She made me feel human. Not worthy of her, I would never be worthy of her, but maybe just a little closer.
I was still staring at my feet. Water was lapping at them and the foot prints. The foot prints were washing away. How would I live without her? The very thought made my chest contract in sharp pain. Like someone had crushed and curled my heart around in on itself. Clenching my eyes shut, I tried to let the thought go.
"Edward."My head snapped up. That was Bella's voice.
"Edward." I turned around, looking for the source. Bella was standing right behind me. I froze.
"Bella?" I asked. How did she get here? Why was she here? I reached out my fingers, cared not to scare her. They passed through her arm.
"Edward." My beautiful hallucination said. She stepped up right behind me. I knew I should close my eyes and hope for her to go away. I knew the more I believe it the harder it would be to get back. But still, I had wanted to get lost, hadn't I?
My hallucination extended her fingers. They gently touched my face, going over the lines where Bella had touched what seemed like years ago.
"Edward, did you mean it? When you said you didn't love me?" she whispered.
"No, I will always love you." My voice still sounded broken.
"And will I always love you," her voice was lighter then rain. "Will you remember me once I'm gone?"
"Forever, my lamb." She smiled. The water washed around my ankles, washing away the footprints. My hallucination was fading away.
"No!" I cried reaching out for her. But she was already gone. I fell to my knees and let tearless sobs wrench my body apart.
It didn't matter, because Bella was gone.
