Disclaimer: I do not own most of the characters and locations that show up in this fic. All credits go to their respective companies. That being said, let's bounce!

King of Beasts Productions Present:

Let's get Dicey!

Tale 1: The Two Kings

It was another normal night in the Dicey Cafe.

Well, that wasn't exactly correct. For starters, this wasn't the Dicey Cafe of Sword Art Online we all know and love. This version is located in a pocket universe where men and women from all walks of life meet, be they from different universes or otherwise.

Since explaining all that would take too long, let's get to our story...

"Give me a huge serving of your best meal, and a glass of wine to wash it all down."

It wasn't unusual to see Saber a.k.a Arturia Pendragon sitting in the barstool of this rather quaint cafe. Then again, when the universe seems to hate you, a few drinks should help you numb the pain. Knowing this, Agil knew better than to question the tiny King of Knight's appetite. He was kind of worried for his hired cook, though.

"Coming right up." The burly bartender nodded as he began walking to the back "Just don't give Ragna a hard time like last time, okay?"

Saber could not help but chuckle, remembering that one time she gave Ragna the Bloodedge an anyeurism for making him cook a ten meal course, as well as Shirou for making him pay for all the food she consumed.

The thing was, even after all that, she was still hungry.

"I'll try my best." she gave the bartender an earnest smile, one he returned before attending to his other customers.

For some reason, she was clad in the jet black suit she wore during the 4th Holy Grail War this night, and it suited her for this particular moment, as she fit with the scenery; she looked like, for all intents and purposes, like a suave foreign gentleman in the American style bar that was the Dicey Cafe.

As Agil brought her order and drink, Saber looks around the bar. The regulars, like Kirito and his group with the HTT girls, were in one booth casually chatting about whatever events they had been up to. She also saw Gwendolyn and Sola-Ui on a girl's night out, the former acknowledging the blonde with a smile and wave that was returned in kind. She even saw Vergil out on a date with...Nui Harime?

Oh, the questions she would be asking Dante later.

"Uhm, is it okay if I sit here?"

Having been shaken out of her potential VergilxNui musings, Saber turned to see a boy about Shirou's age walk up to her. He had a messy mop of brown hair atop his head with eyes that match it's shade. His attire was your typical high school uniform, a black blazer over a white polo with a thin blue loosely tied ribbon around his neck, black slacks and sneakers. Examining him, Saber thought that the boy looked unassuming, much like Shirou would at times.

Of course, consider what she had heard about this boy, she knew better.

"It's fine." Saber nodded as the he took his seat. The moment he did, Agil approached him and asked if he liked a drink.

"Oh, one order of Onigiri and a glass of water for me, thanks." The giant bartender raised his brow at this, but chose not to press the matter further as he went to the back to place the order.

"'Tis strange to find you here...King of the Void, Ouma Shu." Saber said with a polite smile, noting with interest that the boy in question seemed a little surprised that she recognized him.

And why wouldn't she? His tale is a well-known one across the universes. It was a tragic one, one where it involved an unlikely individual gaining the power of a king. He was a wide-eyed idealist who, after becoming a ruthless leader so that his friends may be saved, was betrayed by the people he fought for.

Now, where has she heard this before?

"H-how?"

"Your story is not entirely unknown." The black-clad knight gave him a sagely smile "Especially to a fellow king like myself."

"Ah..." Shu then nods in understanding, immediately recognizing who was speaking before him "Then it's an honor, I suppose, King of Knights."

Saber smirked with amusement at the boy's formal greeting, then called Agil's attention once more "Bring me two glasses of Bourbon, please."

"Comin' right up."

Seconds later, he slid the two drinks across the counter, the second of which Saber had offered Shu.

"Are you sure I should be drinking this?" The lad raised a questioning brow at the blonde "I'm still a minor, you know?"

"Yes, but I am also much older than I look." Saber replied back with a rather confident grin "It should be no problem if an adult is here, am I correct?"

"I suppose so..."

Saber's lips curl into a small smirk of victory as she and Shu took a swig, enjoying the rather hearty taste as it lingered in her mouth. With haste, she placed two more orders.

"I take it that your presence here means that King of Beasts has a fanfic planned for you?"

"I suppose so..." Shu answered as he took a glance at his drink, swirling it's contents around in his hand.

"Then I welcome you to development hell." Saber said with a smirk- wait, what?

"What's that supposed to mean?" The brown-haired boy asked with a perplexed expression that matched that narrator's own.

"It's just that King of Beasts tends to get quite distracted." The blonde King of Knights chuckled at my expense "Do you know how many months he took before updating 'Clarent Blood Arthur'? Morded so desperately wanted to bash his head in, and I would've let her!"

Wow, Saber agreeing with Mordred? I must be pretty lazy then.

Ahem. Anyway, that's how most of the evening went; Saber ordering more drinks as she and Shu downed them rather swiftly. As a result, both became rather buzzed from all the alcohol in their systems, so they begin talking about inane things such as how rice should be eaten or who's more tsundere: Rin or Ayase?

By round eight, the discussion took a serious turn when Shu began asking "Hey, Saber?"

"Yes?"

"Do you...*hic!* Do you regret your actions as a king?"

That question had gotten the King of Camelot's full attention, the blonde slowly turning her head to face Shu, who wore a melancholic expression as he stared at his now empty glass. "What made you decide to ask that?"

"Well..." Shu trailed off, his expression suggesting that he was collecting his thoughts and picking his words carefully "You know as well as I do that I've done things. Horrible things I've come to regret."

The only plausible response Saber could give was nod, her gaze pensive as she listened away.

"I did what I had to for everyone's well-being." Shu continued on "The Void Ranking System...*hic!* in hindsight, agreeing to it was the biggest mistake I have ever made. I turned away from everyone...Ayase, Tsumugi, Souta...Everyone."

He stopped to take another gulp from Round Number Nine before speaking again "The only one who stood by me was Inori...and we all know how that ended. I know that in the end, we were able to stop GHQ, but...Was it worth all the loss?"

Again, Saber didn't need to say anything, just watching as the drunk King of the Void poured his heart out. If anything, the fears and regrets in his heart were similar to her own.

And to his question, she knew the answer.

"Someone once told me that 'The King is not alone'." Saber spoke with the wisdom of her years "And after taking a long, hard look at my own reign...I believe that he was right. I, like you, erred in how I ruled my kingdom. I did what was necessary, no matter how ruthless my actions were. I stylized myself as 'The perfect king' and tried to take on the kingdom's burdens on my own shoulders, an action that made one of my knights declare that 'The king doesn't understand human emotions'. It was my actions that drove my dearest friend to madness...and what caused the fall of my kingdom as well."

Saber paused to take her own drink, closing her eyes to savor the taste before opening them again to face Shu "To answer your question, I did regret my actions at one point. It was the reason why I sought out the Holy Grail, to redo the selection of the king in hopes that someone else pulls the sword."

Shu nods as he takes in everything she had said. However, one thing didn't add up.

"You said that you 'did', meaning that you no longer do so." He pointed out "What made you change your mind?"

At that, Saber wore a most heartfelt smile on her face "Shirou." She said simply "He kept persisting that my wish was foolish. I was, of course, naturally annoyed with his prying. In time, however, I realized that he was right: It was a foolish wish. He wanted me to move past the guilt I felt for my actions, and because of him, I'm all the better for it. He is my sheath, and that's part of why I've fallen for him, I guess..."

As Shu listened to the blonde, he started to think of his own relationship with Inori, and how much support she had given him during that dark period of his life. He remembered what she had said to him back then, powerful words that remain in his heart to his very day:

"Even if everyone calls you a liar and you hate yourself, I'll be on your side, Shu."

"I see now." Shu nodded with an understanding smile "Thank you, Inori."

"I think I get what you're trying to say now." He said aloud to the smiling King of Knights "You have my thanks, Saber-san."

"Glad to be of help." She nodded as she returned his grin with one of her own as she raised her tenth glass "Now, let us speak no more of this. Let us celebrate the people who make us happy!"


Two hours and lotsa shots of Bourbon later...

"Oh, you're looking for them?" Agil sighed as he pointed a thumb at where Saber and Shu sat, both Kings doubled over their seats and wasted from all that liquor.

"Here we go..." Shirou Emiya sighed and shook his head while Inori Yuzuriha cocked her head to the side, her expression as blank as usual.

"Shirou...is that you?" slurred Saber, her eyes fogged as she looked at the red-head "I'm hungry...feed me, Shirou..." As this happened, Shu struggled to stand up. He succeeded, though he was rather wobbly in his landing.

"Oh...hey, Inori..." the brunette waved with a dazed smile before dropping to the floor with a thud. This caused the pinkette idol singer's lips to curl upward ever so slightly in amusement as she drew near to him and hoisted him over her shoulder.

"Let's go home, Shu." She spoke in a soft whisper in that singsong tone characteristic of her "You still have to make me Onigiri tomorrow."

"C'mon, Saber." Shirou sighed as he carried the tiny girl piggyback "We have to get home too." With that, he turned to Agil with a measure of dread on his face "How much do we owe you this time, Agil-san?"

"I'll just put on your tab, like usual. Don't worry about it." Agil chuckled as he took out a cloth and began wiping the counter top "You know, those two are lucky to have someone watching over them. With all the shit they've been through, they deserve to have at least one person in their life to make them happy."

At that, both Shirou and Inori could only smile. After they had nodded their thanks and left with their drunken counterparts, Agil closed shop for the night.

All in all, this was an interesting night in the Dicey Cafe, and he knew more would come soon.

End Day 1


A/N: Hey guys! King of Beasts here to bring you a brand new title called "Let's Get Dicey!" In this fic, we detail the interactions between characters from my various fanfictions, be they Canon or OC, in the Dicey Cafe much like Carnival Phantasm. Can Agil keep the Dicey Cafe standing, especially when we take into account the colorful cast of characters that are part of my works? Stay tuned to find out- ulp!

*Finds both Clarent and Excalibur pointed at his throat and looks up to see a rather irritated Saber and Mordred.

O-oh hey guys! W-what's up?

Mordred: You. Continue Clarent Blood Arthur. NOW!

*Gets dragged away, kicking and screaming, by Mordred while Saber takes over my duties*

Saber: Anyways, look forward to the updates to all of K.O.B's fanfictions, as well as new projects. Until then...

Next time: The Dicey Cafe Staff Meeting!