Bonnie's big speech
Who in their right mind let Bonnie Rockwaller give a speech at Samuel Jonah's memorial.
Sam's suicide was a tragedy. Kim shuddered to think that gay people still suffered like that in little old Middleton. Which was the exact reason Bonnie shouldn't be allowed to give a speech, she should not be able to wrap mr. Barkin so thoroughly around her finger, that she could turn a memorial into a 'we love Bonnie rally'. Just imagine what his parents would think!
Kim was seething as she walked towards the gym. She had passed by Bonnie in the hall, anxiously pacing back and forth, and only offering a mumbled reply when Kim tried to greet her. 'Good' she thought, 'Bonnie might still back out, and give the wake the respect it deserved'.
The hole of Middleton high felt too quiet, had done so for a few days. Sam's death had sent a tremor through the school. You always read about tragedies in the newspaper, but it was different seeing it up close, the most terrifying part was how little you actually felt about it.
Sam had a few friends, neither popular, nor unpopular, just top of the bell-curve in all regards, and apparently gay. No-one had known, not his friends, not his family, not his teacher. After a long talk with her mom, Kim understood why. Being gay was hard enough in it self, imagine how hard it would be being the only gay kid at school. Of course statistically speaking there were other gay people at the school Sam could have been friends with, but that was assuming they were willing to talk about it, or had even realized it themselves.
After the Jonahs and the principal had said what they wanted, it was Bonnie's turn.
For a long time she just stood there, looking awkwardly into the room and biting her bottom lip. When she spoke, it was in a tone Kim had never heard her use before, it was hushed and withdrawn, almost scared (almost).
"I'm not sure how to start this. I had written a speech, but now that I'm standing here, the words just don't seem right. I didn't know Samuel very well, I think we spoke maybe 3 times, and I was a bitch towards him at every one of them. I guess I'm actually just doing this for selfish reasons too. Samuel, in death, taught me what happens when you keep secrets from yourself."
Bonnie took a long pause to catch her breath, drinking water at a snails pace. "What I'm saying is, that… I'm gay."
The entire school gasped in unison, even Kim had to do a double take. Bonnie wasn't gay, couldn't be gay. But would she really go so far as to lie about her sexuality at a funeral just to get sympathy. No that was a bridge too far even for Bonnie. But Bonnie was a cheerleader, she watched real housewives, she had been in the changing room with the rest of the team!
Before the murmurs could grow too loud. Bonnie's usual cheer captain voice cut through the noise. It was full of authority and power, though lacking it's usual poisonous edge. "I'm still the same old, Bonnie, I still shop at club bananas, I still want to study psychology after highschool, I still spent 12 years practicing ballet 6 days a week, and I'll probably still mock your outfit. The only difference is that now you know that I also happen to exclusively be attracted to women."
There was another pause as people tried to take in all the information, a lot of people had failed to fully comprehend the news, Kim Possible included. "The reason I'm telling all of you this is, well, because someone had to. I would have been perfectly happy to go through high school without anyone ever finding out about my dirty little secret, but I guess Samuel thought the same... I know I'm not the only one in Middleton high, but let me be clear, there is nothing expected of you, if you want to come out, the ball is in your court, at least you won't be alone about it. But even if you don't want to, then I'm here, I don't have all the answers, and I know I can be kind of a bitch, but if you want to talk about things, then I'll do my best to listen."
Later that same day the cheerleading squad was gathered in the locker room for an extraordinary meeting. "So… I think we should talk about this." Bonnie began. Crystal was the first to speak. "You think? Bon, you've watched us change, how are we supposed to feel about this?" Bonnie just looked at her own untied shoes.
Tara was the next to speak, uncharacteristically viciously. "That's what matters to you Crystal? That she has seen your butt? Not that she can't get married? Not that people are already telling her it's just a phase? Not that when word gets out she might not have a home? Well here's the news Crystal, we've all seen a lot of each other, and touched each other in weird ways, that comes with being on the cheerleading team."
Suddenly Marcella was standing too. "Yeah but unlike the rest of the team, Bonnie might cup a feel." That got a rise out of Bonnie. "Have I ever done that before? To any of you? Ever?!" Liz was quick to jump to the somewhat misguided defense of her BFF. "No but now that you're a lesbian you might get ideas." Tara seemed about to explode, but Bonnie was faster. "Hold on. Now that I'm gay?" Followed by a long snarky tirade.
Thing's just kept spinning further and further out of control, and Kim just sat there, unsure what to do with herself. She wasn't sure whose side to be on, Bonnie had done a lot of terrible things, but that didn't mean she should suffer for who she was, and cheerleading was practically her life. On the other hand, it did sorta creep her out, that Bonnie had just been hiding among them. Then it occurred to her, that was exactly the problem, they weren't them anymore, they had been split into camps. Bonnie used to be what held the squad together, Kim called the shots, but it was Bonnie's dedication that made them all friends.
Kim took a moment to gather her thoughts, she was the captain, she had to put things right. "Look, guys, none of us hate gay people right? So what's our problem with Bonnie?… That was a rhetorical question. Our problem with Bonnie is that she's our friend, and we thought we knew her, but now she goes out and tells everyone a big secret that we had no idea about, and we get angry. Angry at ourselves for not knowing about it, and angry at her for changing our view of her. But we all like Bonnie, and none of us have a problem with gay people, so maybe, just maybe, we could sit down and learn to accept Bonnie for who she is."
The whole squad looked embarrassed at each other before sitting down, This time with Tara sitting next to Bonnie. Now that the tension had been settled somewhat, the Latino had to answer a steady stream of questions from her squad mates.
"When did you know you were gay" "At first, when I was 12 I think, but it only really caught on after me and brick started going out together."
"Do you know any other gay people." "Yes but I'm not telling who."
"What's up with you and Brick" "Nothing, we were together for 3 weeks, the rest is all rumors."
"Do you have any crushes on the squad?" "Nope."
"Are you sure you don't just need to meet the right guy?" "Are you sure you want to stay on the team?" "You're not team captain Bonnie" "And when has that ever stopped me?"
When all was said and done, the squad had gone from freaked out, to only a little weirded out. As everyone went their separate ways, Kim chased down Tara.
"Hey Tara, I just wanted to say, thank you for sticking up for Bonnie, I know you aren't really the confrontation type, and it took a lot of courage to stand up to everyone. Bonnie might not admit it, but you did the right thing when no one else would."
Tara just smiled as Bonnie rounded the corner, her face not showing a hint of the exhaustion she know doubt felt. Then Tara went up and kissed Bonnie on the cheek. "Yeah, well, I guess my girlfriend of 2 and a half year deserves some courage." The blonde said as she walked away hand in hand with Middleton high's first gay teenage queen.
