Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original portion of the plot is the property of the author, although some lines of dialogue were taken directly from episode 16, Sonata, written by Ethan Erwin & Kira Snyder. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Characters: Mick & Beth; with passing references to Josef & Simone, Emma & Jackson, and Talbot.
Rating: M Very high-level sex scenes; occasional coarse language; adult themes.
NB: Despite the impassioned efforts of various teachers in my younger years, I stubbornly refused to learn to read music; therefore my musical knowledge is sadly incomplete. Accordingly I apologise if my use (or abuse) of various musical terms in this story causes anyone to cringe.
Adagio:slow.
Andante:at a moderate pace.
Affettuoso:tenderly.
Sonata ~ my version of the epilogue.
When he walked out of my apartment – out of my life – he left a behind a void that was almost tangible. I shut the door behind him, then turned and collapsed against the wall.
At that moment I felt the floor drop away beneath my feet and I began to fall.
I instinctively knew that I would fall forever, and yet my heart continued its relentless beating. I willed it to cease – to end the excruciating pain of living – but my heart continued its unabated rhythm. So this was it. This was my own, private purgatory ... a hell of my own design. And the hardest part was that I had no-one to blame but myself. I had made it so painfully clear that there was no room for him in my life. I had said that I wasn't ready to join his world. I had virtually forced him to leave my apartment. The man who was prepared to kill to protect me – the man who had essentially died for me!
My not-quite-boyfriend. My guardian angel. My beautiful vampire. Mick St John.
For the first time since I was four years old, I felt achingly, crushingly alone.
Little by little, the free-falling sensation diminished, but I still couldn't summon the will to force myself away from the wall. I leaned against it for support as though my body was as broken as my spirit. Even when Josh had been murdered the pain hadn't been this bad. Somehow I had survived that. But this? This was something else entirely.
I could feel Mick was still near. It was a kind of sixth sense that had been honed since I was four-years-old. Somehow I just knew that even though Mick had walked out of my apartment – out of my life – he was still close by. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if he would continue to watch over me for the rest of my days. Part of me was elated by the thought and another part was completely horrified to imagine Mick watching from the shadows, eternally young and forever lonely, watching me age inexorably on my way to the grave.
As with every aspect of my relationship with Mick St John, even saying good-bye was complicated.
All of a sudden there was a knock on the door. It sounded persistent although unreal, like a hollow echo from a million miles away. Unable to move, I remained facing the wall.
Then like an answer to an unspoken prayer, Mick was back.
Without preamble, he said, "You want to know what Emma and Jackson made me realize? That you were right. You were right all along. This isn't about being a vampire or a human. This is about us and how we feel about one another right here, right now."
Hearing Emma's name instantly brought back the memory of the light in her eyes when she had told me about the night she met Jackson, and the intensity of her love that allowed her to recall what he had been wearing the first time she saw him. Perhaps it was an unfair test, but I had to know, so I asked Mick: "The night that we first met, or met again, whatever, what was I wearing?"
"Blue jeans, white striped shirt, cream jacket," Mick stated confidently.
He was right – yet still I pushed. I turned to face him. "What about my shoes?"
With a hint of a smile, Mick answered: "You were barefoot."
"How can you remember that?"
"Because I love you."
Before I had time to respond – or even form a coherent thought – Mick took me in his arms and kissed me. I felt as though by some miracle of Divine Intervention I had been rescued from hell and gracefully delivered into heaven.
He had actually said that he loved me!
I was vaguely aware that Mick pushed the door shut. Then he cut short our kiss, but before I could utter a word of protest I was in his arms – he had literally swept me off my feet – and a moment later he sat down on the sofa with me on his lap. Mick had his arms around me, and slowly, almost hesitantly, he ran one hand up my back until I felt his cool touch on the back of my neck. He gently encouraged me to move closer until our lips met, and for the first time I noticed the faint mellow burn of expensive Scotch lingering on Mick's breath.
Abruptly, I realized just how hard Emma's and Jackson's execution must have been for him.
I wanted to hold Mick in my arms, keep him safe, and protect him from the harsh realities of his vampire existence. I wanted to prove to him that I loved and accepted his every aspect, including his vampire nature. Tonight would make or break our relationship; if we didn't make love this time, we never would.
Perhaps it was first night nerves, but I unwisely allowed myself a moment to question the wisdom of what Mick and I were seemingly about to do. Yes, I wanted to be with Mick, completely. Totally. And yet I couldn't seem to prevent disturbing, random thoughts from intruding. I couldn't help but remember that Josef had offered Simone's blood to Mick as though she was nothing more than a beautiful, breathing aperitif. Josef supposedly loved Simone and yet he could be so cruel. Stop mixing apples and oranges, Beth! I told myself firmly. The situations were completely different. Mick and Josef were totally different vampires – utterly different men. On top of that, Simone had consented to Mick drinking her blood. She had known what to expect. And, I reminded myself, Mick would never allow another vampire to lay a fang on me; he would always look after me. He was a perfect gentleman who would never treat me with disrespect ... ever.
"Beth?"
Mick's voice brought my attention back to the present moment and I shook my head to clear it. "I'm sorry Mick. What were you saying?" I smiled an apology.
He took my hand and said, "I was asking if this is all moving too fast for you."
Mick's brow furrowed as he looked into my eyes. He was always so concerned about me, always the protector. I needed to convince him, once and for all, that I am an adult. I am his equal in all the ways that really matter. I reached out with one hand and tried to smooth away the worry lines that marred Mick's handsome features.
"Oh Mick, I love you all the more for your concern, but no – things are definitely not moving too fast for me!" Quite the opposite, I added silently.
"We have to set some ground rules first," he said with intense seriousness.
I wondered what on earth Mick thought he needed to warn me about that I hadn't already experienced. I'd been threatened countless times; kidnapped; held captive by more than one vampire; even had my little misadventure with the Black Crystal that had ended with me trying to seduce poor, gallant Mick. I was damn sure that I knew as much about vampires as it was possible to know without actually being turned into one.
"Please Mick ... stop looking so worried! I love you and I know that I can trust you completely."
"Trusting any vampire completely is usually a fatal mistake," he said softly.
Mick had that look on his face again – the look he always got when he thought about Coraline. But I'd be damned if I'd let that woman ... vampire ... bitch ... ruin one more second for Mick and me. I decided to take the bull by the horns. I stood up and reached for Mick's hand in the same motion.
"Come with me, Mick."
"Where–"
"Sshhhh." I silenced Mick before he could protest and led him towards the bathroom. "How long has it been since you had a nice, relaxing bath?" I asked with a smile.
"Uh ... I don't remember ..."
I set the water running, hoping that human blood heat would be a comfortable temperature for Mick, and then turned back to him. I put my arms around his neck.
Looking straight into his eyes, I said, "I love you, Mick St. John."
"I love you, too, Beth Turner."
He kissed me slowly, tenderly, in a soft meeting of lips that held the promise of lovemaking in the truest sense of the word, when the connection is so sublime that it not only encompasses the physical, but also the heart and soul. Being in his arms felt so right, I could have willingly stayed there for the rest of my life, but eventually Mick reluctantly pulled back slightly and cast a glance sideways towards the bath.
"You'd better turn the water off before you flood the apartment."
When I bent over to reach the faucet, I suddenly felt his big hand slide softly across my butt.
As with his kiss, Mick's caress was gentle yet rich with meaning.
Slowly, I stood up and faced him. Crunch time. I was well aware that he'd seen me naked before – after all, he had peeled me out of my wet dress on that embarrassing night after he'd sobered me up in the shower – but tonight was different.
"Mick, will you get us some wine, please? There's a bottle in the kitchen."
As soon as he left the bathroom, I stripped quickly and dropped my clothes on the floor, creating a black pile of contrasting textures. Then I stepped into the tub and modestly wrapped my arms around my knees.
"The lady asked for wine–" Mick stopped in mid-sentence and just stared at me.
He had removed his long black coat and was now clad only in jeans and a grey Henley.
I indicated to Mick that he should put the wine glasses down on the vanity and then said, "Are you going to join me?"
"Since you seem to have me at a slight disadvantage, may I borrow a towel please?"
"Of course. There are plenty in the linen closet."
Mick retreated only to return a minute later with a towel slung low around his hips. He brought to mind a hero of epic and legend – Achilles or Hercules – reborn in the twenty-first century. I put my arms out to welcome him and instantly his towel crowned the pile of my clothes on the floor. He had the advantage of vampire speed so I only caught a fleeting glimpse of Mick completely naked before he was partially submerged in the tub with me, but I had seen enough to know that I was a lucky girl indeed.
Without warning, he reached for my ankles and pulled me towards him. Next he began to massage my feet.
"Higher," I smiled.
With his eyes locked on mine, Mick ran his cool hands very slowly up my calves to my knees. Then he stopped.
"Ground rules first, Beth."
I sighed. Why couldn't anything be easy for us? "Okay! I'm all ears!"
"Well actually," Mick paused and slowly smiled, lowering his eyes to my now exposed breasts, "you're anything but."
I laughed and splashed water at Mick. "You're the one who keeps talking about ground rules, so get on with it."
Abruptly, his beautiful smile was gone.
His eyes were back on mine.
"Beth, I love you more than my own unnatural life and I'd never deliberately hurt or frighten you. But ... I am a vampire ... a predator ... and I can't change the instincts that go along with that."
He paused, apparently to gauge my reaction. I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring it's-alright-I'm-not-afraid smile.
"Vampire sex is frequently dark and violent – even between vampires who love each other intensely." Mick smiled faintly, fleetingly, apparently remembering.
While Mick talked, I tried to fight away images of Coraline being with him. Unfortunately, I could imagine how wild their sex life must have been. And even knowing that Mick loved me wasn't quite enough to dispel the trepidation I felt – a concern that any girl would feel if her new love's ex-wife was an 18th century French whore.
It was a strange and unusual situation to say the least.
I forced myself to concentrate on Mick's warnings. Despite my distracted thoughts, I'd gotten the gist of it. I'd seen him completely vamped-out before without freaking out and running like a scared rabbit, so his concern about that was unwarranted. Mick had fed from me in the hotel-from-hell in the desert, and even though he was dying then, he had still stopped before he had drunk enough to endanger me, so I trusted his self-control. In fact, that whole encounter had been a particularly unpleasant experience for both of us – especially when compared with the look of sheer bliss on Simone's face when I caught her with Mick's mouth locked on her wrist.
Damn it, Beth! I silently chastised myself. Stop imagining Mick with other women. He is here with you. He loves you!
"Where did you go this time, Beth?" Mick spoke softly and then kissed my fingertips.
"I'm sorry." I took a deep breath. "I'm here now and I promise not to wander off again." I smiled. "But the water is getting a little chilly – for me anyway – so how about we take our wine and move to another room?"
Mick rose and I was mesmerised by the sight of the water running in miniature rivulets through the hair on his chest and down the planes and angles of his superb physique.
He was easily the most beautiful man I'd ever seen.
He stepped out of the tub – giving me ample opportunity to admire him from a whole different angle – and wrapped the towel low around his hips. After that he extended his hand and held mine as I stepped out of the tub. He looked at me with an expression of unabashed adoration on his handsome face and then wrapped me in a fluffy towel.
In spite of myself, I shivered.
Mick frowned momentarily and then removed my towel and began to dry me. The sensation was innocently tender and amazingly sensuous all at once. I reached for Mick's towel to return the compliment and immediately realised that he was rapidly getting hard. So I removed his towel carefully and dried his chest. I was moving down to his stomach when he pulled the towel from my hands and dropped it on the floor.
A moment later, I was cradled in his arms.
Mick carried me into the bedroom and laid me on my back on the bed. He stretched out next to me, on his side, with his head supported on one hand. Because of the way he gazed at me, I was suddenly, acutely aware that even though my vision was limited in the dim light that filtered through the venetian blinds, Mick could no doubt see me perfectly well.
"My god, you are beautiful," he whispered reverently.
As I reached across to touch his face, my body moved slightly and I felt his hardness press into my hip.
He responded to the accidental contact by brushing a strand of hair away from my eyes. Then his fingertips trailed down across my cheekbone and stroked my lips. The journey continued down my neck – pausing for the space of a heartbeat over my jugular vein – before tracing circles across my décolletage. I ached to feel Mick's hand cup my breast, and yet his hand moved with purpose as though in time to music only he could hear.
So I followed Mick's lead in this timeless lovers' dance.
Adagio.
His hand found my breast at the same moment his lips met mine. He rolled on top of me so that our bodies were in complete contact. I wrapped my arms around his muscular back and caressed his smooth, cool skin. Mick had told me once that a few things physically warm a vampire – blood being one and sex being another.
And I briefly wondered how long it would take Mick to warm up.
I arched my back slightly to press my breasts harder against his chest. Taking the hint, he moved subtly from side to side, his chest hair tickling my erect nipples, which made me moan. I felt him smile and then he turned his attention to my neck. I wondered if Mick was going to bite me, and I suddenly realised that the idea thrilled and concerned me in equal parts.
Soft kisses on my neck gave way to a soft tongue trailed across my collarbone, followed by the delicious shock of cool breath blown onto damp skin.
Seemingly of their own accord, my hands moved into Mick's silky hair.
"Mick?"
"What, baby?" he enquired, his tone even deeper than usual.
"Nothing ... I just wanted ... to hear your voice."
I was doubly rewarded as Mick laughed and then began to caress my painfully sensitive nipples with his lips and tongue.
I moaned.
He paused in his loving ministrations and murmured, "Oh, Beth."
Mick's slow and delicate seduction was beginning to feel like a form of torture. I wanted – or more accurately, needed – him to quicken the pace. So I wiggled beneath him and opened my legs in invitation. But instead of moving upwards, he continued his unhurried, downward journey.
I enjoyed the slight scrape of Mick's five o'clock shadow against the skin of my belly. And the way his fingertips played up and down the length of my inner thigh. His skin was definitely beginning to warm now.
Even as I accepted Mick's carefully measured pace, he speeded up.
I gasped when he kissed my nether lips. I moaned his name when his tongue caressed my most sensitive places. But time itself stopped as Mick carefully entered me with two fingers while simultaneously sucking my nub.
As I regained awareness, Mick retraced his path back up my body, kissing and stroking all the way.
Finally, his eyes met mine.
"Thank you."
"You're very welcome." He smiled slowly. "Are you just trying to get me to talk again?"
I laughed and shook my head. Hearing Mick's superb voice was an added bonus, though.
He was lying on his side, so I pushed him lightly until he rolled onto his back and stretched out in happy anticipation.
Andante.
I wasn't exactly overwhelmed with experience in this area, so I hoped that I wouldn't disappoint Mick. Cut it out Beth, I cautioned myself. Now is not the time to ponder all his previous lovers. The appropriate time for that would be – never!
Mick apparently sensed my apprehension because he raised his head from the pillow and said, "Baby, don't do anything that you're not comfortable doing ..."
"It's not that ... I do want to ... I'm just worried that I won't ... satisfy you."
There, I'd said it. And I exhaled the breath I hadn't actually realised that I'd been holding.
"Beth, making love with you is as close to heaven as anything I ever expect to experience."
Oh Mick! I love you so much. How I wish I could take your pain away forever.
I leaned over and kissed him on the mouth before moving to the roughness of the stubble on his throat. His skin was warm and tasted faintly salty. I breathed in deeply. I loved Mick's scent – so quintessentially masculine. His hand drifted across the back of my neck and into my hair. God I loved the way he touched me. His hands were so large and strong, yet his touch was so exquisitely gentle.
Even though I was reluctant to disrupt the attention Mick was so lovingly paying to my hair, I nevertheless adjusted my position on the bed and sat up, freeing my hands to stroke Mick's chest. He trembled ever so slightly as my fingertips grazed his nipples. He half-closed his eyes as my hand made its way down his torso, stopping just short of its target. I took a moment to admire the beauty that was Mick St John and then allowed my lips to follow the path my eyes had just taken.
Mick's hand once again found the back of my neck and rested lightly there.
As I kissed Mick low on the stomach, I felt his hardness brush my cheek and instantly his fingers twitched in my hair.
Encouraged, I continued. I took him in one hand and began to stroke in a slow rhythm, before taking him into my mouth and sucking smoothly.
"Faster!" Mick groaned.
Unsure whether he was referring to my hand or mouth, I quickened my pace with both. His grip tightened slightly on the back of my neck.
"Baby, I'm gonna come ..."
I appreciated the warning but I fully intended to finish what I'd started. And I did so, lovingly.
A minute later, Mick held his arms out to me and invited me into the shelter of his embrace. His features were completely human yet I could see the small, twin holes in his wrist where he had obviously bitten down during his release.
He kissed me deeply and then said, "Thank you."
"You're very welcome."
Mick rolled smoothly on top of me and kissed me until my head started to spin. I was beginning to think that making love with Mick was the closest that I would ever get to heaven myself.
Yet I longed to be closer to him.
Affettuoso.
"There's too much space between us, Mick," I murmured and reached down to cup him. He was rock hard again.
"Are you absolutely sure, Beth? Because we can wait for another night ..."
"Mick, I couldn't be any surer. Make love to me. Please."
He slipped his hand between our two bodies and I moaned as I felt his fingers slide smoothly into my wetness. Apparently satisfied, he altered his position slightly and I moved my hand to guide him in.
I gasped as he began to enter me and he instantly withdrew.
"Did I hurt you, baby?"
"No. You didn't hurt me, Mick, but you're big – very big – and I'm not used to it." I dug my fingers into his back. "Please don't stop now ..."
He kissed me and then slowly, carefully, closed the space between us.
I pulled my legs up and wrapped them around his hips. Mick pushed himself up on his arms and I could feel the weight of his stare as he watched my face. I hoped my expression reflected the bliss I was feeling. And I suddenly envied Mick his vampiric sight, because I would have loved to have seen his face more clearly. Instead, I relied on a different sense and reached up to rake my fingernails through the hair on his chest.
He began to thrust faster and I moaned louder.
"Mick ... Mick ... Mick ..."
I'd lost all other words.
He lowered himself until I felt the weight of his chest against my breasts. But then he turned his face away from mine. Momentarily confused, I reached up and touched his cheek, turning him back towards me. His fangs were fully extended and his eyes were silver in the dim light.
"I love the man. I love the vampire. I love you, Mick. Please don't turn away from me now."
"Oh Beth," he whispered huskily.
Our lips met and I felt the sharp, accidental nick of his fangs. I tasted my own blood and simultaneously felt the vampire react. His thrusts were still smooth but suddenly much faster.
I was teetering on the edge. "Mick ... oh god ... Mick!"
I turned my head to one side, freely offering my neck to my lover. I sensed the pressure of his fangs but none of the expected pain. Beneath my hands, the hard muscles of Mick's back went rigid and I felt the rush of ecstasy begin to radiate not only from my core but also simultaneously from my neck where Mick was gently drinking.
We spiralled to the moon together.
As I came back to earth, I was acutely aware that Mick was softly licking my neck. Slowly, I opened my eyes and after a few moments, he met my gaze.
"Are you alright, baby?" he asked.
"Never been better," I smiled. "That was absolutely amazing."
Mick smiled and nodded.
"Mick, you make love like a musician–"
He interrupted with, "Really? How many musicians have made love to you?"
Undeterred, I continued. "Including you? One. But as I was saying – you make love like a musician, with exquisite timing and a great sense of rhythm!"
Mick eased himself away from me and rolled onto his back before gathering me into his arms and pulling me close against his side. I snuggled into his warmth and ran one hand up and down his body from his neck to his loins.
I planted a kiss on his chest, right over his heart.
"We need to talk about sleeping arrangements. Either I need to get a freezer installed or you need to buy a nice big bed."
"There's plenty of time to work that out, Beth. Sleep now ... it's been a very long night ... for both of us."
Cosy and satiated, lying in the arms of the man I loved more than anyone else in the world, sleep suddenly sounded like a fine idea.
I closed my eyes, only to open them a few minutes later when I heard Mick call my name quietly. Slowly I became aware that the quality of the light had changed subtly. The pinkish-orange tint cast by the street lights had been replaced by the soft golden glow of the approaching dawn.
Apparently I had slept for a couple of hours.
"Mick? Why did you let me sleep for so long?"
He smiled and ran the tip of his index finger down my nose. "You looked so peaceful; I didn't have the heart to wake you. But now – unfortunately – I really do have to get home."
Reality hit me with a sledgehammer force. Everything had changed and yet nothing had changed. The love of my life was still a vampire who needed to sleep in a freezer. Every relationship has its challenges, I reminded myself. Ours are just a little more complex than most. We'll get through it.
Mick tenderly extricated himself from my embrace and got dressed. Suddenly finding myself the only naked person in the room, I grabbed my bathrobe and pulled it on.
Mick smiled and said, "I preferred what you were wearing a moment ago."
"Then come back to bed."
"Beth, I can't. I need some freezer time and you need to get to work. Can't have you upsetting Talbot, can we?"
Mick spoke the name Talbot as though the syllables left an unpleasant aftertaste in his mouth.
"Where do we go from here, Mick?"
"Well, I'm going home to my freezer–"
"Funny," I interjected, in a tone that suggested his comment was anything but.
Mick glanced toward the brightening window and then turned his full attention back to me.
"When I came here last night, I had no intention of seducing you. I had just witnessed two executions – and no matter how necessary they may have been, it didn't make it any easier to accept. I needed comfort Beth, and the only person I wanted to be near was you."
"Oh, Mick."
I held my arms out and he gratefully stepped into my embrace. We stood in silence for a minute before he pulled away.
"Dinner tonight? I'll pick you up at eight."
"Eight will be fine," I smiled.
I looked deeply into Mick's beautiful eyes. In the space of less than twelve hours I had first descended into heartbroken hell then been taken to heaven in the arms of my guardian angel. And very soon I needed to find a nice scarf to wear to cover the bite mark on my throat, since my very rational work colleagues believed vampires to be nothing but the stuff of dark folk tales.
Although I wasn't in the mood to answer difficult questions, at least my life wasn't boring.
Mick regarded me quizzically for a moment, and then said, "A penny for your thoughts."
"They're not worth sharing." I shrugged.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
Mick leaned down, kissed me goodbye, and a moment later he was gone, leaving my apartment feeling somehow diminished by his absence.
I knew then it was going to be a long day.
The end.
